Sexual abstinence

[MisterLove]

In Lars Von Trier's Nymphomaniac, Stellan Skarsgard plays an assexual.

It's a fascinating character, even more so in these times of shamelessness and hedonism.

I admire abstinent people, it shows discipline and strength of character. And I believe sex is overrated in our society: yes, it's fun and healthy but sex alone doesn't bring happiness.

Is assexuality a new taboo in our society? Is it a genuine sexual orientation? Are assexuals the new gays?

[bluedragon]

This might be an interesting video

[Borg69]

40 Days and 40 Nights was a good movie too.



Personally I find abstinence as a throw back to Christian religion where it's viewed as something "dirty" and sinful. Otherwise what good reason is there for abstaining?

[East]

Abstinence is certainly an option.

I would rather have died than have lived a life without sex.

[LJay]

Does involuntary celibacy count?

[Virge]

I admire abstinent people, it shows discipline and strength of character. And I believe sex is overrated in our society: yes, it's fun and healthy but sex alone doesn't bring happiness.

[COLOR="Red"][SIZE="5"]I searched the entire internet for a
single quote from any philosopher
or even sane person who has
said that sex alone is the source of all happiness.[/SIZE]
[SIZE="7"]Congratulations.
You're the first.[/SIZE]

[SIZE="6"]Now...
if you don't mind I'm going to think about sex
the rest of the day rather than abstinence.[/SIZE]
[/COLOR]

[ETOTE]

Well,

first off, asexuality is a sexual orientation, there are many facets to it like with any other orientation. It is not abstinence. There is a difference. Abstinence is choosing to not have sex even though you may have a desire to do so. Asexuality is having no desire in sex period. Or that desire only manifests once you make a deep emotional connection with someone. But make no mistake, asexuality is not devoid of love, intimacy or sensuality. Asexuals are perfectly capable of being loving, romantic, passionate and very intimate. There is simply no desire for the messiness that can be penetrative intercourse.

[Buzzer]

I admire abstinent people, it shows discipline and strength of character.

That doesn't make any sense unless abstaining is being chosen for a very specific cause or reason, like one is a Buddhist monk or something. In which case giving up a specific carnal pleasure or temptation can be viewed the same way as giving up rich or sweet foods, comfortable bedding or material possessions.

It doesn't make sense in the case of asexuals who (to the best of my knowledge) feel no sex drive or no sexual urges, or at least none that incline them towards sexual activity with another human being. It takes no more "character" to abstain from sex if you don't want to have sex in the first place than it does for me to not eat foods I don't like.

Regarding giving up sex just for the pure sake of giving it up as good and character-building only makes sense once placed within the context of believing-- as Christian morality teaches-- that sex by itself is inherently bad outside of some extremely limited circumstances (i.e. married to a wife and attempting to procreate). We're in the 21st century so I think it's time to acknowledge this idea as archaic at best, and that it's something that even Christians themselves have long secretly treated like a throw-away rule no one really follows.

[Camfer]

I abstain from sex every moment I'm not having it.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Well,

first off, asexuality is a sexual orientation, there are many facets to it like with any other orientation. It is not abstinence. There is a difference. Abstinence is choosing to not have sex even though you may have a desire to do so. Asexuality is having no desire in sex period. Or that desire only manifests once you make a deep emotional connection with someone. But make no mistake, asexuality is not devoid of love, intimacy or sensuality. Asexuals are perfectly capable of being loving, romantic, passionate and very intimate. There is simply no desire for the messiness that can be penetrative intercourse.

Thanks man. I read the OP a bit earlier and spent a while (while doing other things) mulling over the whole asexual vs abstinence thing. I came back to try and put my thoughts down about it and you managed to save me a lot of work. You said exactly what my brain was working to sort through and get out into words.