Dating a guy in the RAF advice needed

[Virge]

Obviously, you can also meet halfway in between to spread the travel time between the two of you.

Long distance relationships require travel, no way around it. Life requires compromises, no way around it.

Cultivate gratitude that you actually have a guy you love in your life. Use skype a lot. Three years is not that long if your love is genuine.

Bad idea. Meeting halfway always means both people have to pack and there's a hotel room to pay for. The costs of one person driving an extra 150 miles is less than that. Plus its nice to "play house" -- cook together and all that.

Source: experience. We tried that twice and found out we spent close to what 3 round trip flights to visit each other at home would cost.

[meridannight]

in my opinion, the best thing to do is to just get through this till circumstances get better as to allow you two to live closer together. this is a temporary situation after all, even though 3 years is quite a long time. he won't be living there forever and until then you just have to be there for each other as much as you can and keep making it work. if you both make an effort for it it will work out.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

First off, congratulations

I was in the RAF for 19 years, and that certainly didn't happen in my day!!

So first off, does the company you work for have offices nearer your BF, that you could transfer to? Failing that, do you have a skill that's easily transferred to another employer?

Secondly I assume you know that getting hitched (marriage or civil partnership) will entitle him to a married quarter, so you could move down and not have to sell your property (in the current market I would look at letting it rather than selling)

Are either of you working shifts? Is there the possibility of renting somewhere in the middle to reduce the commute between you?

LDR's are always hard work, more so when one (or both) partners are military. With the reduction in manpower, and if he is in a specialist trade, the ability to move around has reduced significantly in the last 5 years or so.

On the other hand, what if he was posted overseas for 3 years, would you move out there with him and give up what ever career you have to be with him? Welcome to the world of being a military partner Veri.

Oh and to the forum

[James]

Still better than my current relationship, engaged to a person 7000 miles away, seems like half a world, but worth it to me

[Anocxu]

Obviously, you can also meet halfway in between to spread the travel time between the two of you.

Long distance relationships require travel, no way around it. Life requires compromises, no way around it.

Cultivate gratitude that you actually have a guy you love in your life. Use skype a lot. Three years is not that long if your love is genuine.

Coming from the guy that has known me for 8 years and told me a month ago not to send sphincter pics....

Thanks for making me the skank that I am today Camf..!!!

[PatrickLondon]

Etote, "negative equity" means the property is being bought on a mortgage but that its current market price would not pay the mortgage off: therefore, it's not possible to sell it and buy somewhere else, and most likely not possible to rent it out for income and expect to have enough to rent somewhere else as well.

And in the UK, 300 miles is much longer than a five-hour drive (and RAF bases that distance from Manchester - aren't likely to be in areas where similarly good jobs are thick on the ground - it's "up there" suggests An area of Scotland where there likely aren'r.

[PatrickLondon]

...suggests an area of Scotland where the RAF is probably the only major employer.

So the OP has a real problem: take a loss on the property and carry forward a debt, and possibly downshift in career and income terms, or put up with the separation.

I sympathise, but if the relationship is strong enough, in the future, three years won't seem like that long a time, even if it's tough to ration out your time together now. If it isn't, then it isn't strong enough to cope with the complications of your moving to be nearer him - and might not even work that well if and when he is able to get a transfer nearer you.

And if it is in Scotland, and Scotland votes for independence, will he be up there as long as three years anyway?