Finding Male Friends

[Bookworm]

My two best friends IRL are both male and straight, and have been my closest friends for nearly 30 years now. We know each other so well that we can sometimes preempt what the others are thinking, we seem so attuned to each others wavelengths, weird but true. I was so far in closet when I was younger that neither even suspected that I was gay (and were not bothered in the slightest when I finally came out after much agonizing and procrastination.) Our friendship transcended all that messy judgmental stuff.

Although we met at school, we soon realised that we all had similar interests and our friendship blossomed from there, so yes, I would strongly advise on getting involved in activities that interest you, and you will soon meet like-minded individuals who you can relate too on many levels. The friendship dynamics will fall into place during the natural course of whatever you decide to pursue. So, get out there and enjoy the journey mile:

ps, welcome to the site

[Wolfpack]

Hi and welcome to GS

Why not try and make some Gay male friends? You could find they will have the most in common with you and be the most accepting of you. Clubs, pubs, websites and community projects are all options open to you. And you can always make friends on this forum.

[WolfEyes300]

Wow I never even thought about making actual friends here, It never even ctossed me mind. Thanks for that useful info he he I think I will do juat that... Well I'd love to make some gay male friends ( well not literally make em, that would be weird and creepy but you know what I mean) but the only problem is that I don't know where to look... and I hate guessing if people are gay or not cuz that is kinda insulting to them, if they want to come out or if they are not even gay they don't need others telling them what they are. Anyway thabks for all the advice... never knew I'd get ao many people posting on my thread. .. amazing just amazing! !

[Virge]

Hi WolfEyes....

Finding a true friendship isn't something you can do like doing to the store to pick out shoes. It happens organically when you and the right person meet up. When you find someone like that you should work hard to build the friendship --- that means devoting time to it, going and doing with your friend just to spend time together ----- doing maintenance on the friendship.

But you've wandered into GaySpeak and you won't find any nicer people than the ones here.

[Frente]

Okay, I want to share my thoughts on this, too

I myself always had a very hard time talking to guys in general (gay or straight - although, I've only met VERY few gay guys). But this summer, when I was excavating in Greece, I met a guy (straight) and he is now my best friend. Usually, I only have female friends because they are easier to understand (for me) and I feel like they won't judge me when I do something weird - and I really cannot read guys at all. I've enver had a guy friend before him, and now I feel extremely blessed to have him around, as he helps me through so many things. So, I understand why one would have the need to have a same sex friend - although, it is a need I never understood before I met him.

But my point is: It might seem hard to find male friends (even harder to find a boyfriend), but it can happen in a blink of an eye. Relax and enjoy the right and the people you meet on the way. One step on the road, is GS

[CellarDweller]

WolfEyes, use Google to search out activities you like to do, but put 'gay' in front of them.

'gay softball', 'gay hiking', 'gay bowling'. You could join those activities, and broaden your social circle.

[MikeW]

WolfEyes, use Google to search out activities you like to do, but put 'gay' in front of them.

'gay softball', 'gay hiking', 'gay bowling'. You could join those activities, and broaden your social circle.

That's an excellent idea CellarDweller! Here you go, WolfEyes, a whole page of LGBT stuff going on in your town: http://www.blgbt.org/directory/. My suggestion is you find something that looks interesting to you. Contact them and find out more about their program to see if you would fit in. If nothing else you can use them as a resource to find what *does* fit your personality, interests, age and so on. Have fun (safely of course!).

[Humeinator2]

as some have said here, Many of us here will be your friend
also, I've been out since 7th grade (well, I said I was BI then, but I eventually admitted the truth) and I had almost no difficulty with making friends, mostly because I have a chameleon like personality (it changes with my surroundings, to an extent) and most people find little problem with me, so I can only really say that you just have to keep hopeing and you'll get them
... okay maybe I had SOME difficulty getting male friends... but only a little >...> <...< (I might not being tottaly honest there >.> I'm a freakoid, so most of my friends are either extreamly excepting, or also freaks of nature, but most people are friendly towards me, so *shrugs*)

[Virge]

Okay, I want to share my thoughts on this, too

I myself always had a very hard time talking to guys in general (gay or straight - although, I've only met VERY few gay guys). But this summer, when I was excavating in Greece, I met a guy (straight) and he is now my best friend. Usually, I only have female friends because they are easier to understand (for me) and I feel like they won't judge me when I do something weird - and I really cannot read guys at all. I've enver had a guy friend before him, and now I feel extremely blessed to have him around, as he helps me through so many things. So, I understand why one would have the need to have a same sex friend - although, it is a need I never understood before I met him.

But my point is: It might seem hard to find male friends (even harder to find a boyfriend), but it can happen in a blink of an eye. Relax and enjoy the right and the people you meet on the way. One step on the road, is GS

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I can relate to that Frente. My best friend of the past 8 years is straight, I went thru Afghanistan with him and now he lives with me. Don't take this the wrong way --- I have a brother who is great but my Friend, Ray, (StingRay when he logs in on GS) is closer to me than my own brother and vice versa. I'd be lost without him if he moved away so I make it pretty hard for him to leave! hahahaha!

[TwisttheLeaf]

because no guy wants to be seen anywhere near me for obvious reasons; being called gay themselves, being cut off from their own group of friends and so on...
Any advice on this, or is asking for a guy friend too much?

You -really- need to broaden your social circles man. Not all straight men are like that. In fact, I am very openly interested in men, and yet I -prefer- straight male friends over gay ones in my offline life.

In fact, my closest male friend is straight, and was quarterback in uni when we met. I filled the role of his physical trainer during the off season and when he was in recovery, and we became good friends.

In offline life, I find most gay men I make friends with really just want to get in my pants in one manner or another. Even those that have said they don't, when vulnerabilities start showing, they start.... working their way to wheedling in to get a start in that direction. They also fade off rather quickly when they realize they have absolutely -no- chance in hell.