do you believe in "love of your life"?

[jimcrackcorn]

The "love of my life" is the one that I've managed to keep locked up in my basement for the longest period of time before he finds a way to escape!!!

My current conquest has been down there for 39 years!!!

[TwisttheLeaf]

I believe that at the -end- of one's life, you look back and can recognize the "love of your life" if you've had one. That one person that just.... stands out and holds the bar, yeah?

So I guess I do. I don't think most people realize who it is until they are at the end of their life, though.

[Iceblink]

I believe in the idea of "the love of my life" in the sense that the man I am with is the one I am going to be with until one of us dies. Do I believe in the idea of "the life of my life" as some kind of spiritual, predetermined destiny and this was the person I was meant to be with and find? No. I do not believe that.

[Steve]

I believe in the idea of "the love of my life" in the sense that the man I am with is the one I am going to be with until one of us dies. Do I believe in the idea of "the life of my life" as some kind of spiritual, predetermined destiny and this was the person I was meant to be with and find? No. I do not believe that.

Thank You! Good grief. I thought someone was going to go all Whitney Houston and start wailing "I will always love you".

I admire your conviction Davis. You know how you feel, and you told your partner in no uncertain terms how deeply you felt. That's a brave thing for anyone to do.

Now, do I believe in "The Love of My Life"? Um... no. I have the same opinion as Iceblink. There are probably several loves of my life out in the world. That I was lucky enough to meet one of them and he loved me back, loves me still, is a great and wondrous thing. But I'm not about to break out into "Love is a Many Splendored Thing" and picture myself in running down a beach, Mark running toward me, and then... We meet! Embracing and whirling round and round, a golden orange sunset in the background.

Your guy was just being realistic Davis. You're actually quite lucky. There are a hell of a lot of guys who would have run for the hills at the mention of the "L" word. Some people just have commitment issues. That he didn't run, was calm and rational and told you how he felt is a pretty good sign. Could he have said it better, phrased it more gently? Sure. Just because he didn't gush the juice of love, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He was telling you the way it is. Six months with the same guy bodes well for your future together.

Like meme said, some guys don't instantly realize how fabulous you are, or how lucky they have it right away. Give him some time and try not to rush him into saying something before he's ready to. The most important thing to remember is that you have found someone you love very much and who loves you back. He might not be as wildly romantic as you are at the moment, but it doesn't mean he never will be. Enjoy today. People miss a lot of joy worrying about the future when the man you love is kissing you today.

[Gideon]

Absolutely...some of us just may have more "love of their lives" than others, hm?

[Bhp91126]

Congrats on finding a man, making it to 6 months and thinking that you will spend the rest of your lives together. Whether you will be a couple for what is hopefully many years to come depends on many factors, not all of them influenced by you alone or both of you. There is way more to a successful relationship than just love like compatibility, communication, compromise, dealing with change, problems, sex etc.


and all that is before moving in with each other...


and meeting his family

[Bowyn Aerrow]

actually, no. technically it's not a 50-50 chance on how things will turn out any given day. if you're in love, the chance is actually in favor of a positive outcome any given day. it will start dipping when some major incompatibilities are discovered, and it will stay above 50 the longer and stabler the relationship. that's realism.

the, ''no idea what tomorrow holds'' or 50-50 view is randomness. you are essentially giving every event/factor affecting the relationship an equal chance to turn it bad or good. in real life, that is not true. and, in real life, also, the tomorrow is not entirely unpredictable.

That is not how I was applying the 51% statistic. I was using it to show that a majority of relationships fail.

You opted to turn this into the chances of failure for this particular couple, you decided that its a 50/50 randomness. I never said it was random, I never said what makes or breaks a relationship either.

You added all of that.

And to tell the truth I was being optimistic in that I only touched on marriage statistics. I didn't cover all the failed short term relationships out there (the ones that stall before marriage).

The general consensus is one has to go through about 5 relationships before finding The One: https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=how...a+lifetime

So in truth if we want to look at the statics here, this poor kid is looking at about a 20% potential success rate.

Yes, true, there are many things a couple can do to improve their odds of having a long, happy fulfilling relationship, but clearly with so many people having so many failed relationships this tactics don't pan out, or people just don't apply them.

Again, I am not slapping a random success rate to this particular couple. Its the average of what happens to every couple.

[BabyPolarBear]

http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/bustin...pair-bonds
This first one should get you started on pair bonds witch is what love really is (fun fact pair bonds are strengthened by prolonged physical contact like hugs or cuddling .the longer the contact the stronger the bonds) but anyway you can keep "love" strong in this manner forever (not so fun fact pair bonds are weakened by prolonged time spent apart). Also Stockholm syndrome is a pair bonds as well so look that up. But to have sexual pair bonds guess what you have to have sexual relations often to keep up that part of the bond other wise your just like friends.

[BabyPolarBear]

http://kevishere.wordpress.com/2011/08/0...ntic-love/

[CuriousPhoenix]

Yes one can find the love of their life. It happens everyday but sometimes it doesn't last. We get fixated on the happily ever after of the love story. We assume that since they deeply love each other they will stay that way but life happens and it can change. Sometimes the relationship can cope with the change sometimes it can't.

He does seem very practical and realistic in his outlook. I don't know enough about him but maybe he was too quick to say "I love you" once before and he was burned. So now he has become a pessimist and very cautious with saying "I love you."

I believe our culture says "I love you," too much as it is. It should only be said if you truly mean it and he might be working towards saying it to you. He might just need to trust you more.