I don't know...

[Wardo94]

None of us can ever have the exact answer for you. But the best thing to do, is to just put yourself out there and sometimes do stuff you normally wouldn't do. Like speaking to someone while waiting for the bus or whatever. Sometimes that person may lead to meeting "the one" and I think that's how it works out sometimes. Little spontaneous events that slowly create a path to the day you finally meet that person.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

the guys I like are either straight, taken or not interested because they have their eyes on someone better, or they're just not emotionally available. .

And the common denominator here is????

They are unavailable. When you meet them something about their being outside of their grasp appeals to you.

Some common reasons (may or may not apply with you, and are not the only reasons):

You have commitment issues. Thus you purposefully focus on those guys you will not have to actually commit to.

You're love a challenge: In this case the work of getting them to find you appealing appeals to you.

The other aspect is just surrounds wanting what you can't have.

Again there are more potential reasons why you are attracted to guys you can't have.... You will need to Google it and research it.

As long as you are going to focus your attention on those you can't get, you are going to miss seeing those you can have, more often than not even end up dismissing them out of turn to go seek someone who is distance, unavailable, what ever.

Why are you like this? I have no idea. There is most likely situational/experiences in your past that has programmed you to seek out that which you can't have.

If you can uncover that, or figure that out and actually face that, you might find that your interest in those men you can't have will diminish.

If its commitment issues https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=commitment+issues

Again, you need to start researching. It threw a few potentials out there for you start start there as these are the more common reasons why people have strong attraction to unavailable people.

[Anonymous]

Fair enough Bowyn (won't let me quote idk why), I could see myself being increasingly attracted to someone who's unavailable for a while, just by human nature, but I usually don't know that they're unavailable until I find out more about them.

And commitment, well I really can't say if I have issues with that or not, as I've never had the chance to see for myself. As far as I'm concerned, I'm attracted to whoever I'm attracted to, just turns out I've been a little unlucky in that department by far.

[MikeW]

Since you're anonymous, I don't know how old you are. "Youngish" is relative. It isn't going to help you to think there is "something wrong with you." I don't know but there probably isn't. You're probably as 'normal' as any other gay guy. I've been around a long time. I know how difficult it can be to find a relationship -- for all the reasons you've stated. I don't know any 'tricks' -- but I can tell you it is never too late. I didn't have my first gay LTR until I was 40. As a general rule I think it is best for gay men who didn't date as teenagers to figure they are roughly 10 years behind the "straight" coupling curve. It can happen sooner but rarely does, or so it seems to me.

There are certainly ways you can increase your chances of meeting someone but it depends on where you are. I also think that dating, as a general rule, should mean *no sex* until the second or third date. It isn't a hard and fast rule, just a concept that seems to help. Makes it clear that what you're looking for isn't just another hookup.

[Virge]

[SIZE="5"][COLOR="Blue"]This quote from anon is what has kept me from commenting so far.........

emphasis added.

[/COLOR][/SIZE]

I've already heard it all... I go out and make friends, my standards are pretty normal, some would say even low, and apps creep me out.

I hate that I can't express that I have this problem without being automatically judged, it just happens to be that for whatever reason I haven't been with anyone yet. Why that is beats me, hence why I felt the need to vent.

Now let me do an edit to make a point.

I hate that I can't express that I have this problem without being automatically judged,
Why that is beats me,
I've already heard it all
I felt the need to vent.[
I've already heard it all
I hate that I can't express that I have this problem without being automatically judged,
I felt the need to vent.
Why that is beats me,
I've already heard it all
I felt the need to vent.
I've already heard it all
I felt the need to vent.
I've already heard it all
I hate that I can't express that I have this problem without being automatically judged
I felt the need to vent.
I've already heard it all
I felt the need to vent.
I've already heard it all
I hate that I can't express that I have this problem without being automatically judged
I felt the need to vent.
I've already heard it all
I've already heard it all
I've already heard it all

[COLOR="Red"][SIZE="5"]Why all that is beats ME TOO.
And I thought I'd already heard it all[/SIZE]
[/COLOR]

[SIZE="5"][COLOR="Blue"]People in here are pretty geared to helping people looking for help to solve problems.

You saying you've heard it all means either your ears are full of sawdust or you just don't like what you've been hearing and came here looking for something you've not heard before.

If that's the case you are your own worst problem for not taking advice you've gotten in the past and coming here to repeat the same crap you did when you ignored the first advice you received.

And for me personally when I invest MY time to help someone solve a THEIR problems they came to me to talk about and they say. "I just felt the need to vent." instead of "you're really helping me see how I can fix things.".......I tell them they need to leave. I don't have enough time to waste any on anyone venting about shit they intend to do nothing about but VENT[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[ChadCoxRox]

...but what do you REALLY think? lol
Honestly, Virge is right but I bet he'd quickly mitigate the tone if you asked him nicely and agreed with his valid point...

that said, I wonder if the matter is more than what you state in the post... but this is a discussion that needs to occur specifically and not anonymously... because, as Virge aggressively pointed out, the problem is with you, not elsewhere and "you" anonymously can't get the real help you clearly desire and likely need.

so maybe trust someone a bit more somewhere somehow to move forward...

I hope you have all you ever desired line up for you like a miracle!

[Virge]

Hey CCRoxinpocket....

Step back as second.

What if I told you what I said was very well mitigated. I've thought about this thread for three days. This morning I had to pull Ray off the computer and give emergency PTSD counseling when he read another OP like the one he was almost banned from GS for giving is his famous UNMITIGATED RESPONSE TO! hahahhahaha!

I've been hoping someone else would step in before I did and grab the OP and shake him so I wouldn't have to always be the bad guy. Everything he's saying is totally self defeatist but since believes since "he's already heard it all" it doesn't mean crap when people keep telling him the same thing over and over and over and over someone has to do something to knock the sawdust out of ears to clue him in on the difference between hearing and listening.

It's a fair bet since he's "already heard it all" most of it was mitigated down to the consistency of politically correct inoffensive runny mashed potatoes. And all I did was metaphorically chunk some big raw taters at him to get his attention for once.

[ChadCoxRox]

And I hope it works!

[Jason74]

I say don't look for it and that it will happen when you least expect it to happen. I know for me for a long time I would yearn for it and want to love someone and when I looked for it, it never happen and then when I didn't it happen. So i just say don't put too much pressure on yourself to find love, just let life play out the way its supposed to play out.

[Virge]

But Jason, do you stay in one spot doing nothing, meeting nobody waiting for it to materialize just because you want it or do you get out, be seen and meet new people?