Hello community, I really need your opinion ona situation that has been happening for almost a year now (Sorry if my english feels sloppy)
So, I'm a 21 year old single guy who is undoubtfully heterosexual, You may think otherwise but I know that I'm not homosexual, HOWEVER, a year ago I met online this guy from my town who has been asking me for a sexual encounter, and to be honest I've consider it plenty of times, I'm not gonna lie, I really want to experience a gay encounter, the problem is that every time I think of it, I masturbate and the need goes away, for weeks or months, but slowly but surely the need comes back, you can say I've cancelled this guy like 20 times this year yet he keeps inviting me. and I always consider it.
So to sum it up, he keeps inviting me and my curiosity comes and goes, And I'm kinda scared that I'm gonna regret it or that the experience itself won't be what I want.. But I can't stop thinking about it 
For the record, My issue is not an identity or orientation one, nor the discretion is a problem, from that perspective I do trust this boy.
Hopefully someone takes the time to read it and give me some tips, I don't really know the ettiquete rules about this thread so I really hope I offended nobody 
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Etiquette rules? While there may be some formal ones somewhere, being honest and considerate should suffice. You seem to be doing both.
You need to take both yourself and your friend into consideration while you work this out. You need to communicate with him that you have both desire and reluctance. You both need to talk about what may happen AFTER a sexual encounter. Putting a label on either one of you is not necessary. Be yourself. Being relatively young, you may not yet realize that your life will be full of all sort of experiences and that they are not always commitments. Entering into them with care and kindness is best. Always try to see both sides of any relationship. You will be richer for it.
I bid NO Trump!
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LJay Wrote:Etiquette rules? While there may be some formal ones somewhere, being honest and considerate should suffice. You seem to be doing both.
You need to take both yourself and your friend into consideration while you work this out. You need to communicate with him that you have both desire and reluctance. You both need to talk about what may happen AFTER a sexual encounter. Putting a label on either one of you is not necessary. Be yourself. Being relatively young, you may not yet realize that your life will be full of all sort of experiences and that they are not always commitments. Entering into them with care and kindness is best. Always try to see both sides of any relationship. You will be richer for it.
Well he's not exactly my friend, we just know each other and as far as Im concerned he wants this to be as discreet as posible, yet he is more decided about it, And the only desire of both of us is to have a sexual encounter, nothing else, he also wants to keep is life as it is but as I mentioned it he really wants to while I was not too decided. Even tho I have to admit that your words are kinda walking me to it :o
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I'm afraid that there isn't enough information here for any of us to make a clear determination about your situation.
My thoughts in a nutshell is this: I think there is something about either you or this guy that is making you consider it. You say that you are straight, but you're desires say otherwise. You need to ask yourself, "Have I considered this with other guys?" "Have I wanted to do these things with other men besides this one guy?" If this is the first time you have thought of doing anything with a guy, that's okay! You aren't the first straight guy who has fallen for another man, and you won't be the last.
I'm more of a romantic, so I wouldn't say go and do things with this guy without being comfortable with the other aspects of this guy.
I hope this helps. I am very eager to hear more about your story.
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As long as you have desires to fulfill your curiosity, I'm sure you will never regret having a sexual experience with a guy. Go ahead since he wants nothing more.
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If it would satisfy your curiosity, then by all means go ahead and do it! Who is to say? You might not get another opportunity like this on again, so you might as wel "strike while the iron is hot", so to speak!
Good luck,
~Beaux
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Morrison123 Wrote:So, I'm a 21 year old single guy who is undoubtfully heterosexual, You may think otherwise but I know that I'm not homosexual, HOWEVER, a year ago I met online this guy from my town who has been asking me for a sexual encounter, and to be honest I've consider it plenty of times, I'm not gonna lie, I really want to experience a gay encounter, the problem is that every time I think of it, I masturbate and the need goes away, for weeks or months, but slowly but surely the need comes back, you can say I've cancelled this guy like 20 times this year yet he keeps inviting me. and I always consider it.
For the record, My issue is not an identity or orientation one, nor the discretion is a problem, from that perspective I do trust this boy. You might say it is not an identity issue, but it seems like that is exactly what is- look at what I put in bold. You felt the need to point out what you "undoubtedly are" and then say what you "know" you are not. I'm not one of these anti-label people, at least when it comes to how people choose to describe themselves, but in this case you are using labels to put restrictions on your desires. You are not really using words to describe yourself, you are using words as something you must live up to. Stop worrying about these words "gay," "straight," "heterosexual." "homosexual" and explore your desires and discover who you are.
Look at your post it again, you say there is not an identity issue, but you could not make it through a very short post without using words that are identifiers and it wasn't just a casual mention, you made it a point of making it very clear.
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Some very good points of advice here. I would only add that IF you have this curiosity and this young friend completely understands "where you are coming from" and accepts that for what it is, then it seems like a good situation for you both. A situation that may not present itself to you again for quite some time. Obviously once there is an intimate moment it's not uncommon for people to misinterpret that "glow" for something more serious or permanent, there is always that risk. I would discard any labels, etc. that you are putting on your feelings at this time. I dated (and had sex with) women for many years and chalked up my "feelings" for guys as being charged about those friendships as opposed to being truly honest with myself. I'm glad I finally put it all on the table and embraced who I am and what those feelings REALLY are. I haven't been happier! Good luck my friend.
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deltalover4 Wrote:I'm afraid that there isn't enough information here for any of us to make a clear determination about your situation.
My thoughts in a nutshell is this: I think there is something about either you or this guy that is making you consider it. You say that you are straight, but you're desires say otherwise. You need to ask yourself, "Have I considered this with other guys?" "Have I wanted to do these things with other men besides this one guy?" If this is the first time you have thought of doing anything with a guy, that's okay! You aren't the first straight guy who has fallen for another man, and you won't be the last.
I'm more of a romantic, so I wouldn't say go and do things with this guy without being comfortable with the other aspects of this guy.
I hope this helps. I am very eager to hear more about your story. Hey, thanks for all your replys and now I'll procceed to answer everyone right now 
Sadly in all this there is nothing romantic, I know myself and I don't feel in love with him, but ever since like 3 years ago I've been having fantasies and every now and then I watch gay porn, It's something that makes me hot, but never have this need came from watching a REAL man, I have NEVER seen a man and go "I would totally fuck with him" (sorry for the expression lol) I just so happen to meet a random guy who feels the same way, he is curious (even tho he is more decicive about it). The act from which I'm considering to do is gay obviously but I know I'm not gay, I've never went and feel like I want to marry a guy, In my 21 years of life I have never met a man and feel like I feel something more towards him, never. And I know how It feels because In the other hand I have had already some girlfriends (cant recall number) and I've had sex with girls too, but gay sex is something that I've been curious about and wanted to try it.
To put it even easier; The only reason I'm even considering about doing it is because I met this guy, whenver I have never crossed paths with him(online) I wouldn't probably even be posting here right now.
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Iceblink4 Wrote:You might say it is not an identity issue, but it seems like that is exactly what is- look at what I put in bold. You felt the need to point out what you "undoubtedly are" and then say what you "know" you are not. I'm not one of these anti-label people, at least when it comes to how people choose to describe themselves, but in this case you are using labels to put restrictions on your desires. You are not really using words to describe yourself, you are using words as something you must live up to. Stop worrying about these words "gay," "straight," "heterosexual." "homosexual" and explore your desires and discover who you are.
Look at your post it again, you say there is not an identity issue, but you could not make it through a very short post without using words that are identifiers and it wasn't just a casual mention, you made it a point of making it very clear. Thanks for the reply!
I see where your thoughts are coming from but the reason I specified it's because everytime I've spoken about this specific topic people always try to see it as a "You may, just may be gay, you are just denying it or you dont even notice" I do understand the nature about the act from which I'm considering to do but I've never felt anything related to lovve to ANY man, and considering I've been thinking about a gay encounter for like two years already never have these feelings came alongside something of "I want him to love me" No. It's not about that, It's just about me wanting to try this experience, I said it already and I'll say it again, I know me pretty well In that matter and I know I am not gay because a relationship comes along with many other things besides sex, none of them are of my interest.
Concerning the labels I did find pretty useful what you just told me and as I read what you guys are telling I'm kinda getting the guts to do it 
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