I hate playful teasing.

[TuxSky]

I came out to my best friend, this guy. Now that I came out to him and he's decided to revive our friendship I think I'm slowly starting to like him again.

It's all been good. I told him about everything, my irrational insecurities about my relationship with him and he's been okay with it. Although I can't help but feel that he's just pretending and is only talking to me because he doesn't want to offend me but he's telling me not to think like that.

Anyways, when I came out to him I told him that I only found out about my "preference" a month ago. On Friday I confessed and told him that I knew all along and the only reason I lied was because I didn't want him to feel awkward, like maybe I was taking advantage of him thinking I was straight when we used to act gay for laughs in secondary school. I didn't want him to feel like I wasn't doing it for laughs. LOL

He told me okay and he asked me if I ever thought of him in "that way", I didn't know what to do so I lied again. I told him I always thought of him as a friend. So he started asking why and started pouting. So I jokingly asked him if he wants me to like him and he replied with a smile, a "Maybe.", held my hand and was pulling me in. I panicked and pulled away and then a friend came up to us and we didn't speak for the rest of the day or even up until now actually.

I don't know what to do! Should I ask him about it? What if he was just teasing me? I hate this. :mad:
I can't stop thinking about this and I'm not sure if I even want this if he was serious about it. And then he has a girlfriend too!

Gosh. :frown:

[hajime.saitou]

ummm, plan a sleepover?

ok, ok, no maybe not

it may sound simple, but i'm sure if u give it a short while and then revive that deep a conversation, you'll know for sure what might have happened =]

and you have the power to change ppl! i had a gf for 5 yrs and i was pretty gay and hiding it for quite a few of those =[ (hrmmm, barely ever told any1 that)

not that you should get your hopes up

but you'll never know till you try, and thats not something to barge back into, you need to slowly lead up the convo like the first time incase it was stirring any feelings in him

[AlaricXY]

Likely he's another out-and-coming gay like you.
Didn't it occured to you that he might like you too considering his affectionate gestures on you?
Try talk to him.
Having a gf and still acted that way with you,
sounds unusual. Maybe that's an alarm for 'I like you, actually.' .
Give love a chance, and surrender yourself to affection between more-than-friends bonding.

[xHurtAngelx]

You should realyl confront him about this, i mean you guys are friends and if he's a true friend he'll tell you the truth and be your friend, i mean you jus came out to him so why can't you tell him?, you should really ask him if it was a joke or not

xx - jesse

[colinmackay]

You should realyl confront him about this

Confronting someone is quite an aggressive move. Is that wise? Why not just talk?

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

communication is THE most important part of ANY relationship even a friendship Talk to him.

but MOST important BE HONEST about how you feel and how he makes you feel you may get a very very pleasant suprise

[princealbertofb]

This story goes with the initials INAM.... Does anyone know what that means?

Well, years back when I went to uni, there weren't very many boys in the language department, but there was one boy with whom I became friends. He'd had a lonely life, orphaned from a single mother and brought up by his aunt, this friend was not really someone I fancied as a boyfriend, but more someone that I had empathy for. At the time one of my best friends, a girl my age, was also a very good partner in studying and I'm pretty sure everyone thought we were going out together since we were always together doing one thing or another. Thus, I don't know if M. ever suspected that I might be gay too. I don't even know if I knew it myself at the time. What I do remember though, was how he used to write these initials, INAM in the corner of his notes and I knew what they meant.
Of course, M. was pretty camp and although he was not out to anyone, and probably quite a shy person at the time, I knew I could probably help him just by telling him I knew what those initials meant. It did. He told me he was gay and was looking for someone to love.
I think at the time there was a disco song out by Grace Jones which bore that name. Maybe that's what set me onto the secret meaning of INAM.
Anyway, the point of the story was that I knew what this boy needed but I wasn't yet prepared to tell him that that was how I also felt at the time. I don't even remember if that was how I felt at the time, it happened a couple of years later, I believe.
So, maybe, TuxSky, your friend is at a point in his life where he can feel some empathy for you but is not in a place where he feels he can do anything about it (because he's also got a girlfriend to take into account), but maybe he'd like to be able to help you out in a more real way than just teasing. For the moment, he may only be able to tease you about it.

If he is a good friend, then surely he will be ready to hear that you don't like being teased about something so sensitive. As Mr Lonely said, you'll have to speak plainly to him about it.
Here's the link to the Youtubes I found of this anthem for all forlorn friends of Dorothy...

Grace Jones: I Need A Man long version


instrumental version


short version


live version

Lyrics :
When I'm feelin' lonely,
Someone telephone me,
It's gettin' hard to pass my time.

Take me out a-dining,
Watch me while I'm smiling,
Baby, it's a waste of time.

I need a man, perhaps a man like you,
I need a man, to make my dreams come true.

Say that you won't find him,
Creeping up behind him,
Ruling round the town all day.

Well, I'm underestimated,
Highly underated,
Can't there be another way?

I need a man, perhaps a man like you,
I need a man, to make my dreams… and I need a man.

And then I won't be feelin' lonely,
Knowing I'm the only one.

He'll understand
All that I'm feelin' deep inside me,
Knowing that at last he's come.

Oh well,oh well
Gettin' tired of lookin',
Wastin' all my cookin,
Ending in a fretful row.

Can somebody tell me,
Say to me, or spell me,
Why I'm feelin' lonely, why oh.

I need a man, perhaps a man like you,
I need a man to make my dreams,
And I need a man.

And then at night I won't be lonely,
Knowing I'm the only one.

He'll understand
All that I'm feelin' deep inside me,
Knowing that at last he's come.

It's maybe that I'm dreaming,
Can't say they I've seen him,
Somehow, I just got to find

Someone outstanding,
Good enough to hand him
All that I've built up in time

I need a man like you, to make my dreams come true,
Perhaps that man is you!

[TuxSky]

Well, I spoke to him over MSN the other day but I couldn't bring myself to talk about what happened, I felt it would just kill the conversation that we were having. >__>

I'll most likely see him on Saturday though! So I'll at least bring it up then.

[TuxSky]

I think I post in this section too much. But here goes!

Okay, so I spoke to him about it like... two days ago. He said he'll stop but he didn't sound serious about it.

We spoke on MSN again tonight and he continued to tell me stuff. Saying how amazing he thought I was; making me blush like crazy and he kept hinting at stuff. He kept saying he's gonna give me something that'll feel good. >_>
It made me happy but I was afraid that he was just kidding again and if he is I'll be devastated because I really like him and I can't do this anymore.

So I told him to stop saying things he doesn't mean, how I really like him and hearing him tell me stuff like that but not being sure whether or not he means it is like torture to me. He took forever to reply but he told me he just "Isn't sure about how he feels right now.". I'm kinda angry, why couldn't he just say he's sorry and he won't tease me anymore? Ugh...

All this is making me slowly start to hate him. What should I do? I don't trust him, what if I get into something with him and he suddenly "changes his mind"? I want him to be sure because if he does change his mind I'm not sure how I'll react. I'm sure I'll be really happy but if he just comes with his "LOL! Just kidding, I'm straight!" self I can't imagine how angry I'll be.

But yeah... what should I do? >_>
I told him that both him and I just need to think right now and I told him how he really should think about what getting involved with me would bring how there'll be both good (LOL) and bad consequences. And I told him that this flirting that he's doing isn't making the situation any easier for us.

Was that good? I don't know, gosh, I feel like screaming.

[DarkDaisuke]

How do you know hes not being for real? It sounds to me like he actually might like you :/ Tell him how you really feel. Im serious tell him that is the only way he'll understand I believe :/ If he is kidding, then he's just a douche or got some serious problems. My guess is though he actually might like you if hes saying stuff like that. tell him how you feel and see what happens :/