How To Deal With Noisy Roommates

[SilentFilm1988]

So I share a house with 3 other people, we are all around the same age, and for the most part they're not bad roommates. There is only 1 area where we clash. My roommates and I have different work schedules, mine is 8 to 5 Monday to Friday schedule with the weekends off so naturally I have to get up early during the week. There's schedule is different, they don't go into work until later in the afternoon.

I think because they have that schedule knowing they never or hardly ever have to get up early, they like to throw parties. This is where the problem lies. They're parties are more frequently during the week when I have to be up early, and they go until the wee hours of the morning. I've had these roommates for a couple months now and that's how long this has been occurring, and I have not said anything because I don't know how to address a conflict like this. I've told this to my friends, and they tell me I need to say something but I just don't know what. I don't want to say anything to my landlord because I'd be a rat, I don't want to say something and come across as a dick, and I don't want to say something that makes it seem like I'm the roommate with no life.

It wouldn't be as bad if they would throw they're parties on the weekends that way I don't have to be up early the next day. I told my friend in real life this is how I feel: I don't have a boyfriend currently, but hypothetically if I did, and I had him over my place to have sex, I would tell him, within reason of course, to not be so loud while having sex. Why would I do this? Because I would respect my roommates and think maybe they don't want to listen to me having Loud sex with a guy. So I told my friend, that's how I would respect them, but why don't they respect me?

My friend said I have to say something or my roommates will never know its a problem. To anybody that reads this, what is the best thing to say to them in this situation? Should I just be short and sweet and say "Look I don't want to come across as a dick, but when you guys throw your parties can you please keep it down some?" Or ask them if its possible they can move there parties to Friday or Saturday nights? Any advice is much appreachated.

[skWolf]

Your friend is right, you need to say something to them, or they won't think it is a problem or issue for you. You also can't be angry at them at this point since this is a concern you have that they don't know about. Since this will be the FIRST time you bring this up, just keep it short, simple, but nice and not rude.

If it were me, I would just say something along the lines of: "hey guys, so I got to get up early for work on the weekdays, and it's tough to sleep when there is noise around, I'd appreciate it if you guys move the parties to the weekend/keep it down during the weekdays/end the parties earlier on the weekdays (whatever solution you wish to have).

Most people are reasonable, and they understand that a lot of jobs go from 9 - 5, and don't start in the afternoon, so just talk to them, hope everything works out!

[Iceblink]

There is no chance of a solution to this problem without talking to your roommates or the landlord, two things you do not want to do. You can always move out, but I imagine that you are in a lease. There are certain situations where you can break a lease if conditions make the place unlivable, but I am not sure in this case that would be seen as one of those situations, and if it were you are generally required to make some effort to remedy a situation before you would move out, which would mean you are right back to having to talk to your roommates or landlord. Personally, I would not go the landlord first because you should being doing this in steps until the problem is solved. If you go to the landlord first, you've already eliminated the other option of talking to them yourself. I've got to work early, so I need to ask you to not party late during the work, is all you really need to say. Just lay it out short and simply because if you get too wordy it could be seen as if you are laying out some exceptions, which they would latch onto to keep partying.

[meridannight]

it's not being a dick wanting to sleep.

and this is also why you should put a lot more thought into who you move in with. most people are not compatible with each other. if it's not noise problems, it's the fact that they don't clean after themselves, or clean too much, or something else. finding a roommate who is compatible with your life style is a rare thing, actually.

either tell them or be prepared to sleep on the pills or to move out/have them move out.

[LJay]

You have to talk to them and explain that they are disturbing your sleep and therefore making your days difficult. Tell them that you will do your best to respect their sleeping hours if they will respect yours.

[Yume]

Well.... Just tell them to try to stop, and that it's bothering you, just tell them that you are annoyed by it, you're not wrong for doing that really, roommates can be hard if you have a different lifestyle and don't party during weekdays haha. Just let them know that it bothers you, I mean you can't exactly sound-proof your room >,<

[Anocxu]

Go to their parties..
Pick up their hot friends...
Take them back to your room and have loud obnoxios sex..

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Every roommate situation I have been in there were ground rules right from the start that dealt with such matters.

Every house party was voted upon and approved by all members of the household, and everyone invited people they wanted and chipped in for beer, booze, snow, ice, weed - whatever party favors. Those who didn't want to attend or invite friends found something else to do or someplace else to stay that night. But there was at least a weeks warning.

We all knew each-others' schedules and respected that Joe worked graveyard shift every other Saturday or whatever which would impede a killer party.

We had 'house meetings' about once a month to bang out things like who takes out the trash, who mops the kitchen floor, who dusts the living room (common areas). And it it wasn't a formal meeting with gavels and raise of hands - it was just people talking and getting some idea of what is going on.

So you have such as this going on? If not then it may be a lot more difficult to be the one man out and change the situation.

In truth I got this feeling you are not well liked by your roommates, and this may actually be a ploy to get you to move on. IDK the details of the situation so I might be wrong.

If there isn't a regular house meeting to bring this sort of matter up, I would start seeking a different situation with different roommates in a house that has such things as regular meetings, and discussion of things like parties.

It is a respect thing.

[LJay]

If you are going to follow Anocxu's advice, don't forget to call in sick to work and continue the noise right on through the morning.

[Virge]

All the advice given so far is great.

All I'm going to add is ........
BEFORE you make this a big issue........ have the money and an exit strategy. This isn't the type of conversation you should have to initiate more than once so don't plan on doing it. If you get disturbed by them again plan on moving out while they're at work two days before rent is due...