Conflict with my boyfriend... Help

[Arkansota]

I'm discovering as a young adult what's important to me... One of those things is to live in a place where I'm not a second class citizen because of my sexuality. My boyfriend lives in Indiana and he's pretty much anchored in (he's 63)... I don't want to break up with him but I don't ever want to live in Indiana. The closest place I'd live is probably Chicago. I don't want to be tied down to Indiana.

Here's the problem with me living in Indiana- I have wanted to (or at least thought of) killing myself in the past because of the fact that I am basically a second class citizen in this society. I don't think I could live a healthy life in Indiana.

[Virge]

Second rate citizen?

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Here's a thought, have you tried discussing this with your bf?

In fact have you discussed any living arrangements with your bf?

If your not communicating with him, then Im not sure what you expect to get by bringing this problem to GS?

Most of us have never lived or been to Indiana, much less AZ or MN.

Im sure there are worse places in the US....

[Iceblink]

Haven't you made more than one thread here about people's misconceptions and preconceived ideas about Arkansas and isn't this kind of the same thing you are doing here? Arkansas has a population of about 3 million, but Indiana has a large city in the center of it that has a metro area that on its own has a population of about 2 million and for most of the state you are never more than a couple hours away from. The Chicago suburbs extend into the northwest part of the state. I love my boyfriend, so I would consider moving about anywhere in the world with him as long as it wasn't somewhere like Uganda.

[Arkansota]

Here's a thought, have you tried discussing this with your bf?

In fact have you discussed any living arrangements with your bf?

If your not communicating with him, then Im not sure what you expect to get by bringing this problem to GS?

Most of us have never lived or been to Indiana, much less AZ or MN.

Im sure there are worse places in the US....

I have. He doesn't want to talk about it.

[ChadCoxRox]

Is the long distance relationship worth holding on to? Is there anything of value you can find in going to be with him and learn how he is satisfied there? Would that lead you to learn what you don't truly care to know? (just playing devil's advocate...)

I agree with the comment about you possibly benefiting from being challenged to face and address your own self in the matter. If he's that settled and that situation is unacceptable to you why not move on with life, possibly together or apart as friends? I bet he'd be a great support along the way of you finding your place to root and grow.

[Arkansota]

I guess Indiana is pretty close to legalizing gay marriage (probably 5 years max) so that's a factor.

[ChadCoxRox]

How so? Flesh it out or it only serves as a mask. You are fun and awesome and I've witnessed you throw down with some candid demeanor...so let it rip GS brother.

[ChadCoxRox]

notice at least 133 folk have looked already... you are touching issues for many others too, so it's of value for many reasons.

[LJay]

Was born in Indiana and lived there until I was nine. My entire family still considers it home. It is a salt-of-the-earth place. Know your neighbor, learn your ABCs, eat what the earth provides, care for those who have less, work hard, love basketball, have a real hometown, respect the farmer, take pride in your heritage. It is not New York City or Boston or LA. It has many very beautiful places, some of which are simply cornfields. Pork tenderloin sandwiches are an obsession and fall smells wonderful. No one knows what Hoosier means. If you are from Indiana, you don't need to. Some things are just good the way they are.

From living in Indiana, I learned that it is not important where you live. It is important how you live.