Starting Anew

[MBRetzlaff]

First, I would like to thank those of you that helped me the last time I was on the forums. Thank you everyone for your sound advice and guidance.

Soooo, After my break -up I took a good look at my self. I slowly began to realize that the break-up did not hurt as much as I thought it would. I was in a loveless relationship but it didn't begin that way. We drifted several years ago. I realized that the main reason I did not break off the relationship sooner was because I was afraid of hurting him because I cared about him, not in a partner way, but feelings were there. Catching him cheating on me made me realize that he felt the same way. After some cooling off I spoke with him again and we will be friends but that's it. It's odd really. I am not sad about it at all. Mostly relieved.

I started "dating" again, unexpectedly. I'm an online gamer and met someone over the game we play that lives an hour and half away. I've known him for a while, about year actually. I recently came out to him by telling him about my break up and turns out he was gay too (Hey what do you know, small world) We have a lot in common and the interests we do have that are different overlap in some way. We actually met face to face a few months before my break-up and after the break-up ive been seeing him more often and its to the point where It will be once a week that I see him.
He's told EVERYONE about me. his family and friends and work friends. I think all that is left to do is just ask him and say it out loud xD.

I know that I personally feel like I need him in my life more and more but... How do I make a "Just long enough i can't see him whenever I want" distance Relationship work? Especially with out being clingy when I do get time with him!

[StingRay]

You need to make sure this thread stays on the board for guys to see. There are some solid couples here who can teach you a lot about long distance relations. My roomie has been doing it for almost 8 years from the US to Australia. Hell be back Sunday and can help you out too.

and welcome to GS BTW.

[Doofus89]

I have some experience with long distance. Mine not being to particularly useful as they just sorta ended with no real rhyme or reason. But, it let helped me realize that if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be.

Long distance is rough. Lots of communication is key. Try to stay connected. I'm not saying bombard each other with texts/calls/voice mails. But, if you two feel that what you have works, keep it up. Trust, is another big one. There needs to be lots of trust and no secrets. That can make or break any relationship but it's highly crucial with long distance.
If the game you guys met on is an MMO, maybe create a living space in the game for you two. Just a thought lol :biggrin:

[palbert]

It's interesting you regard 90 minutes as so far away. In the beginning you're fortunate to be that close together. I would have a realistic discussion about how often and when you can get together. Are overnights possible. As the relationship gains confidence you will not need to be or feel so clingy.

[CellarDweller]

It's interesting you regard 90 minutes as so far away. In the beginning you're fortunate to be that close together. I would have a realistic discussion about how often and when you can get together. Are overnights possible. As the relationship gains confidence you will not need to be or feel so clingy.

I was going to say the same thing. I would not consider 90 minutes long distance.

[MBRetzlaff]

I was going to say the same thing. I would not consider 90 minutes long distance.

Never said 90 mins was long distance or far away. I chose a very specific wording for this reason. Regardless if you think this is long distance or not there is enough distance to make it inconvenient and I'm asking for advice not criticism or opinion on if this is long distance relationship or not. So Please don't put words in my mouth when attempting to give advice. Much appreciated.

[East]

Never said 90 mins was long distance or far away. I chose a very specific wording for this reason. Regardless if you think this is long distance or not there is distance and I'm asking for advice not criticism or opinion on if this is long distance relationship or not. So Please don't put words in my mouth when attempting to give advice. Much appreciated.

??????

Um...you are quoting yourself so how can you ask yourself not to put words in your mouth...

[MBRetzlaff]

??????



Um...you are quoting yourself so how can you ask yourself not to put words in your mouth...

I'm quoting my self to show what was said as oppose to what they said but I'll fix it so it is more clear

[East]

I'm quoting my self to show what was said as oppose to what they said but I'll fix it so it is more clear

I will suggest that since you brought up distance as a factor it is a natural connection and if it is advice you are seeking you could always try not being defensive. I was going to say the same thing about the distance as well as a few other things but luckily I saw your last post before I started to type.....

No one here was being rude to you....

[MBRetzlaff]

All I asked is that the posters actually use the information I provided and that they do not place words into my mouth. Like.

It's interesting you regard 90 minutes as so far away.

Having that pointed out in a "psh 90 mins" when that is what I'm asking advice on may have made me slightly defensive without me actually realizing and might of affected my post alittle.

Regardless of if you think it is long distance or not I just want advice to deal with the 90 min gap between us that is inconvenient enough that we cannot meet just when we feel like.