Starting Anew

[TwisttheLeaf]

Communication. LOTS of it from both of you. Chat rooms, texts, instant messages, phone calls, skype..... hell, Gideon and I are in contact numerous times a day either through texts or IMs and spend a good deal of time talking in the evenings each day. (We've been in a long distance relationship for over six years now.)

You also spend time together gaming, which is awesome. Gid and I do the same in an interactive storytelling type of setting.

Another thing you might want to check on is.... some guys -like- clingy.

Hard to believe, I know. But they do. Gideon LOVES clingy and often feels I'm not clingy enough. So this might not be as bit a worry as you think, but you won't know until you have a talk with him to find out, yeah?

[Gideon]

I would echo what both Doofus and Twist said. Communication and trust are key factors.

And hell clingy can be sexy as hell, long as it's not a "oh god don't breathe unless I'm watching you" type of thing, yeah? The fact that someone enjoys your company and actually finds a -need- to be close to you can be a very good thing, just don't go overboard with it, communicate and make sure it's not freaking him out and you should be fine in that regard.

[Cuddly]

I too don't really understand the 90 minuttes. It's short enough for staying the night and driving back to work in the morning, assuming you have a car.
Without trying to put words in your mouth, just to help us understand, why is 90 minuttes mentioned? Is it the only obstacle? Is it your excuse in case you change your mind? Do you not have a car? Doesn't he?
It all sounds pretty perfect, to me... Doesn't it to you?
Also, are you dating or is he just on your radar? Again, not trying to be rude, just didn't get a clear picture from your post.

[MBRetzlaff]

I too don't really understand the 90 minuttes. It's short enough for staying the night and driving back to work in the morning, assuming you have a car.
Without trying to put words in your mouth, just to help us understand, why is 90 minuttes mentioned? Is it the only obstacle? Is it your excuse in case you change your mind? Do you not have a car? Doesn't he?
It all sounds pretty perfect, to me... Doesn't it to you?
Also, are you dating or is he just on your radar? Again, not trying to be rude, just didn't get a clear picture from your post.

Don't worry about it. The people that do understand have given the same advice repeatedly so it's pretty clear what to do. Ty.

[MBRetzlaff]

Okay now that I am home at my computer I would like to express some of my exasperation with this thread.

First and foremost, Assuming that just because an hour and 30 mins (90mins) is not a long way doesn't mean that it is as simple "I feel like seeing my b/f today I am going to go visit him right now YAAAAAY"

I work. He works. Our schedules don't always match up. Neither one of us have a set schedule. Most people in services don't. Sometime i work til 10p then wake up at 5a to get to work at 6a. Sometimes he does the same. sometimes he works morning and I work nights. It is hard to request days off in services unless it is planned months in advance. Not to mention, I have obligations outside of work as well. Most people do.
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It's interesting you regard 90 minutes as so far away. In the beginning you're fortunate to be that close together. I would have a realistic discussion about how often and when you can get together. Are overnights possible. As the relationship gains confidence you will not need to be or feel so clingy.

You may not of intended to but not only did you assume I thought 90 mins was "So far away" (Even though I put my opinion about this distance in the post) you trivialized something I felt required to seek advice on before actually giving me the advice. I was gunna ignore it but when CellarDweller chimed in thinking the same thing and trivializing it as well I felt the need to say something. Yes, other people assumed "long distance" but they didn't trivialize it and the advice they gave actually applies here.

I do agree that I am fortunate to be this close, especially since i met him on a Multi-player online game. but it is also frustrating. He is this close and I can't go see him to comfort him just because he has a had a bad day. I can't drop what im doing to nurse him to health if he is sick. I can't randomly invite him to the movies or a park or out to eat.
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I was going to say the same thing. I would not consider 90 minutes long distance.

You shouldn't of commented period. You offered no advice.
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I will suggest that since you brought up distance as a factor it is a natural connection and if it is advice you are seeking you could always try not being defensive. I was going to say the same thing about the distance as well as a few other things but luckily I saw your last post before I started to type.....

No one here was being rude to you....

I agree no one was intentionally being rude and I definitely could of worded that a lot better. Yes I did bring up distance as a factor but having people openly trivialize something I feel is important is rude. It is akin to: "My dog died and I'm really sad" "Its just a dog" (That is extreme but that is for the sake of getting my point across). Their home life may make them feel that an hour and 30 mins is something they can do when ever they feel like but mine isn't. Other people got that from my post and were able to advise me, Why couldn't they?
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I too don't really understand the 90 minuttes. It's short enough for staying the night and driving back to work in the morning, assuming you have a car.
Without trying to put words in your mouth, just to help us understand, why is 90 minuttes mentioned? Is it the only obstacle? Is it your excuse in case you change your mind? Do you not have a car? Doesn't he?
It all sounds pretty perfect, to me... Doesn't it to you?
Also, are you dating or is he just on your radar? Again, not trying to be rude, just didn't get a clear picture from your post.

And you are the worst of all. A lot of the questions you asked could of been answered by reading the original post and the rest are of no relevance.
You state that " It's short enough for staying the night and driving back to work in the morning, assuming you have a car." Well its not short enough for -ME- This is my situation not yours, so you shouldn't assume that my situation is the same as yours. Rather assume that the reason it isn't "Short enough for staying the night and driving back to work in the morning..." and that I am seeking advisement is because my situation does not allow it.
I mentioned the 90 minutes and stated it was '"Just long enough i can't see him whenever I want" distance' because that is how -I- feel due to -MY- situation.
The why and how and whowhatwhen shouldn't apply here. No one here needs to know the enitre situation to know that I can't visit him freely and that there is some geographical distance between us to advise me on how to keep a relationship going with him.

" Is it the only obstacle? Is it your excuse in case you change your mind?" Of course its not the only obstacle but it is the one I need advice on. As to the second question, If that were the case I wouldn't be seeking advice on it.
" Do you not have a car? Doesn't he?" The only 2 questions in your entire post that actually have relevance! Yes I have a car, no he does not. At least not one he can travel on a Highway with.

"It all sounds pretty perfect, to me... Doesn't it to you?"
Nope, it doesn't. or I wouldn't of posted seeking advice.

Also, are you dating or is he just on your radar?
This is answered already "He's told EVERYONE about me. his family and friends and work friends. I think all that is left to do is just ask him and say it out loud xD."

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So here is some advice of my own. If you are going to attempt to advise someone that is asking and need to make assumptions. Assume that the reason they are asking for advice is because they feel it is important. Assume that just because that situation may seem easy to you in your life, doesn't make it so for the person seeking advice. Also... Read the post.

Thank you to the ones that did give me sound advice without the opinions. To the rest... Maybe you should save the advising to the others.

This board has really gone down hill since I last visited... wasn't even that long ago.