Need major help

[Kackerlacka]

Think I'm doing better guys...wanna add one more thing. Since he is head director of access at a major university he was going to call my college to get help that I needed to be set up right away. He was going to put a word in for me so I was set up with commendations without a second more going by. So I guess him showing he would do that and make it publicly know he knows me shows he is not out to get me. He is clean on a background check as well

[palbert]

Good to hear ^^^

[Kackerlacka]

What do you guys think that chances are that this guy is a killer and would come and kill me as a target

[palbert]

What do you guys think that chances are that this guy is a killer and would come and kill me as a target

Very, very remote. He has shown nothing but courtesy to you.

[Kackerlacka]

Yea I guess so. The one thing that did freak me out was how I told him I was driving through his state with my dad. And he even offered or us to stay there if we needed a place to crash. I obviously didn't tell my dad. But anyways, he seems nice. Too nice but idk. He is head of a university department, and he also holds preisthood. Idk it's just..I want this obsession gone. It is still here, weaker but still pestering me

[Kackerlacka]

Oh and he was driving through my state and asked me if I wanted to see him in real life at a restraint or something with his wife and he said I could bring a friend if I wanted or anything

[palbert]

Yea I guess so. The one thing that did freak me out was how I told him I was driving through his state with my dad. And he even offered or us to stay there if we needed a place to crash. I obviously didn't tell my dad. But anyways, he seems nice. Too nice but idk. He is head of a university department, and he also holds preisthood. Idk it's just..I want this obsession gone. It is still here, weaker but still pestering me

Oh and he was driving through my state and asked me if I wanted to see him in real life at a restraint or something with his wife and he said I could bring a friend if I wanted or anything

All this says is he's a courteous older guy.

Are you off your meds?

[Kackerlacka]

He is even telling me to tell my parents who he is so it makes me feel comfortable

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Never done anything inappropriate, I was never ever worried about him, until just abot 3 nights ago this just came into my mind "what f he comes out to kill me in the future" ...he hasn't done anytning at all. Im not worried about rape. Im a big muscular dude, workout at the gym and I am strong (not trying to brag im just saying im a fit dude). I can easily take anyone, but if they have a gun...hell no I cannot take them on...I would be done in a heartbeat.

Actually its rather easy to disarm an opponent in close quarters, regardless of their proficiency with the weapon. See if a person was actually going to try to do anything, they would be using the weapon as a device to get you to comply.

The reality is that if a person is intent on killing you, there are other ways to do that which are more efficient than waving a weapon in your face. Most people who are going to present a potential threat and pull a knife or a gun on you are going to leave themselves wide open to be swiftly (and to varying levels of permanency) incapacitated.

I seriously doubt this guy intends you harm. I think there is a part of you that knows and understands that this guy's intend is to help in whatever way he can.

IF you have this sort of 'they are going to attack me in future' type notion, one of the methods you can take the sting out such thoughts is to get some practical self defense training. Various classes are out there, from simple 'how to rapidly disarm and get away from a mugger' type classes, to how to turn your opponent into a bloody mud puddle.

This 'fear' aspect here interests me, especially that you have told us that you are a big muscular guy who works out regularly. You say you can easily take out a guy, then are quick to point out that if they have a gun then no.

I wonder if part of your working out regularly ties in with an underlying issue with not being able to protect yourself. I have to wonder if this correlates with an experience in your past when someone took power from you.

Do you have 'control issues' of some sort? Do you need to feel more powerful than others in order to make certain they cannot harm you? While you may have a quick and fast answer to the gym workout along the lines of 'I want to look good', have you ever sat down and asked yourself if there are any deeper reasons why you want to have more muscle?

I wonder these things based on my own experiences. I learned all about firearms and bows and arrows and other related stuff (like knife throwing) in order to regain power that was taken from me. I may allow people to walk all over me in round about ways, but I can rapidly drop a man and if necessary use unnecessary force to make him my bitch. Or make him "living impaired" if I feel physically threatened.

I have 'over compensated' in the area of physically protecting myself.

And I do worry about potentials of strangers becoming "a problem". Perhaps not to the degree you are expressing here.

If there is an episode or more where someone has taken control/power from you, such as physical assault, molestation, rape, etc. it is possible that you may be reacting to that and not to the realities of real threats in the world.

If such a thing does exist in your past, you need to come up with a way to regain power/control and convince yourself that no one can take that from you again.

Self defense classes, or martial arts (which is used defensively only, not offensively) can restore a great deal of confidence, and give you back power that another may have taken from you.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yea I guess so. The one thing that did freak me out was how I told him I was driving through his state with my dad. And he even offered or us to stay there if we needed a place to crash. I obviously didn't tell my dad. But anyways, he seems nice. Too nice but idk. He is head of a university department, and he also holds preisthood. Idk it's just..I want this obsession gone. It is still here, weaker but still pestering me

Oh and he was driving through my state and asked me if I wanted to see him in real life at a restraint or something with his wife and he said I could bring a friend if I wanted or anything

He is even telling me to tell my parents who he is so it makes me feel comfortable

Well its clear to me he isn't the problem.

Your OCD is the problem.

Trust me, that OCD doesn't go away on its own. You need therapy, perhaps a lot of therapy...

Since I do not know your whole set of symptoms (don't want to know either), and I don't know your personal habits and history with OCD, I cannot give you a list of tools to deal with your OCD. A professional therapist is the ideal person to go to.

If you have medical insurance, talk to your Family Physician (General Practitioner, the regular doctor) and ask him/her for a referral to a psychologist for therapy to deal with the OCD.

Psychiatrists rarely do therapy and have M.D. attached to their name which affords them the magic wand of the prescription pad and they wave that wand like there is nothing else in the world for mental health treatment.

You need a psychologist, someone who will sit, talk with you, have you explore your past, present and the whole situation of your problem and hopefully will be able to start making suggestions of things you can try to reduce your episodes, channel the energy elsewhere, cope and other things.