10-15-2014, 04:20 AM
I am not going to try not to cry, I cried so much today, seeing my dad being taken by ambulance this morning made me realize everything he has taught us - we are fragile beings. Never believe to be invincible - He'd always say when teaching us martial arts. I have always seen my dad as being strong as steel (a superman); physically and mentally. Even a silver bullet could not get to him. Well, I was wrong and he was right (fuck daddy, why the fuck do you have to be right just now?) I know that every child will see their parents go and never come back, but we all believe in some twisted way that it will never happen to us. Today all of us, even the youngest, Jasmine 1.5, understood what was going on. The paramedics, knocked at the door, Alex answered the door - Alex is a medical professional and although I know he wanted to panic and cry like crazy, he didn't, he told all of us to back up (which obviously hearing the siren coming our ways}, we all wakeup - we live in a remote area, not the city, even though it's written Montreal in our profile, we do not live in the city - Alex asked us to make place - "your dad isn't feeling good Sandy he told me and we need to rush him to hospital like right now." Make sure the kids are not getting in the way.
For us all it was the end of the world - our world, because, it did happen before when dad had his stroke. We all though that this time it was it. Josh my little brother was stunned just like the first time it happened, he just stood there chewing his dreadlocks and I had to take care of the younger ones not to run to daddy. This wasn't a movie, it was happening, my dad was being ousted from our house by the paramedics. Alex climbed in the back of the ambulance, yelled to me to keep the cell phone up and there it was gone. I was alone with my 15 years old brother, and 3 other young kids who didn't know what happened. We were all shocked. I couldn't call because I didn't know which hospital my dad was going to and the first time it happens Alex told me never to ring his cell while in an ambulance - which I did the first time it happened. I had to wait for him to call. It took 45 minutes before Alex called us and finally we were fixed on what happened to daddy.
Another diabetes related emergency. FUCK and this time it was serious, very serious and very painful, because this time I could hear daddy's saying ouch and moans about the pain. The first time he was unconscious, but not this time. Although, I felt like screaming and crying my heart out, I had the responsibility for others, I kept my cool, but I'm not that cool. This was my dad being carried away. It was 3:45am in the morning or so when it happened.
I tried my best to comfort the younger ones and put them back to sleep. We all slept in the living room. Alex came back 4 hours later, woke me up and we went to his room to discuss and that's when I heard that this time it was a little bit more serious, the first time, yes daddy had a stroke, it was serious because it's either you die or live, but Alex knows what to do in those situations, and last time HE revived him in the ambulance, but this time, something broke. Fuck! Now Alex and I were allowed to cry, no kids, we hugged.
It's 10:30 pm as I'm writing this paragraph and I can't sleep, Alex went for a nap in the afternoon, but he woke up screaming and all sweaty - not in their room though, we have few visitors' rooms and he decided to make sure Daddy had enough sleep because believe it or not, they go to sleep hard and they wake up hard (Alex told me) and he didn't want anything to happen down there. And, well Alex wasn't much in the mood for sex (go figure).
Anyway, this day was shit, none of us went to school, we were too shocked, normally daddy is the one to comfort us and playing the family psychologist but he was in the hospital being checked.
To my dad and to Alex and mostly to Alex. Thanks so much Lexy, thank you so so so much. Who said you were too emotional, too weak, You are strong, what you did today will never ever be forgotten by any of us YOUR KIDS. You are our dad too, even though I'm 11 years younger than you are, you are OUR DAD as well and I can't thank you enough for keeping your cool, for being professional, for doing the right thing, for loving us, taking care of us even though you were pretty young when you're started taking care of us - you were my age. I have no words for what you did today. You know I have read many of your posts here where you glorify my dad for saving you, for making you who you are. But my dad didn't do all that by himself and in case of despair you took the lead. You brought or dad back alive, your husband.
We love you Alex, Lexy, daddy and I'm speaking in the name of all my siblings, we LOVE YOU. Thanks, thanks, thanks a million. You did it twice and this proves that even though we don't have the same genes we all feel so connected to you. Thanks for loving daddy so much and thanks for loving us.
Your child; Mariah-Sandra, Joshua-Alexander, Sasha, Marika and Jasmine. Thanks daddy Lexy! Thanks!
For us all it was the end of the world - our world, because, it did happen before when dad had his stroke. We all though that this time it was it. Josh my little brother was stunned just like the first time it happened, he just stood there chewing his dreadlocks and I had to take care of the younger ones not to run to daddy. This wasn't a movie, it was happening, my dad was being ousted from our house by the paramedics. Alex climbed in the back of the ambulance, yelled to me to keep the cell phone up and there it was gone. I was alone with my 15 years old brother, and 3 other young kids who didn't know what happened. We were all shocked. I couldn't call because I didn't know which hospital my dad was going to and the first time it happens Alex told me never to ring his cell while in an ambulance - which I did the first time it happened. I had to wait for him to call. It took 45 minutes before Alex called us and finally we were fixed on what happened to daddy.
Another diabetes related emergency. FUCK and this time it was serious, very serious and very painful, because this time I could hear daddy's saying ouch and moans about the pain. The first time he was unconscious, but not this time. Although, I felt like screaming and crying my heart out, I had the responsibility for others, I kept my cool, but I'm not that cool. This was my dad being carried away. It was 3:45am in the morning or so when it happened.
I tried my best to comfort the younger ones and put them back to sleep. We all slept in the living room. Alex came back 4 hours later, woke me up and we went to his room to discuss and that's when I heard that this time it was a little bit more serious, the first time, yes daddy had a stroke, it was serious because it's either you die or live, but Alex knows what to do in those situations, and last time HE revived him in the ambulance, but this time, something broke. Fuck! Now Alex and I were allowed to cry, no kids, we hugged.
It's 10:30 pm as I'm writing this paragraph and I can't sleep, Alex went for a nap in the afternoon, but he woke up screaming and all sweaty - not in their room though, we have few visitors' rooms and he decided to make sure Daddy had enough sleep because believe it or not, they go to sleep hard and they wake up hard (Alex told me) and he didn't want anything to happen down there. And, well Alex wasn't much in the mood for sex (go figure).
Anyway, this day was shit, none of us went to school, we were too shocked, normally daddy is the one to comfort us and playing the family psychologist but he was in the hospital being checked.
To my dad and to Alex and mostly to Alex. Thanks so much Lexy, thank you so so so much. Who said you were too emotional, too weak, You are strong, what you did today will never ever be forgotten by any of us YOUR KIDS. You are our dad too, even though I'm 11 years younger than you are, you are OUR DAD as well and I can't thank you enough for keeping your cool, for being professional, for doing the right thing, for loving us, taking care of us even though you were pretty young when you're started taking care of us - you were my age. I have no words for what you did today. You know I have read many of your posts here where you glorify my dad for saving you, for making you who you are. But my dad didn't do all that by himself and in case of despair you took the lead. You brought or dad back alive, your husband.
We love you Alex, Lexy, daddy and I'm speaking in the name of all my siblings, we LOVE YOU. Thanks, thanks, thanks a million. You did it twice and this proves that even though we don't have the same genes we all feel so connected to you. Thanks for loving daddy so much and thanks for loving us.
Your child; Mariah-Sandra, Joshua-Alexander, Sasha, Marika and Jasmine. Thanks daddy Lexy! Thanks!