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10-19-2014, 07:57 PM

The last 6 months have been a rollercoaster of feelings and situations and experiences. I worked at the Grand Canyon and ended up dating a female for like little under 3 weeks and though for sure that I was bisexual and then that ended and I went to a gay spa and I hooked up with a guy and it was so amazing and I realized that females are never in the game plan again.

Then the last month I have realized something about myself that I have kept hidden ever since I was a kid when I was 13 and awoke to some feelings that were so new to me and very scarey. I have come to the conclusion about myself that I am transgender and I think I have always been that way. I mean it started or awoke in me when I was 13 and was in my sisters room trying on her panties and then the next day I tried all her clothes on and realized that I was a girl trapped in a boys body.

I have joined Tg/TS/CD forums and have realized that I am really TG and all the things they say fit me perfectly. I watched some videos on Youtube and that fit me as well and I realized that I am really this way and that its not a phase and its not going to go away because its been with me forever. When I was younger and got into some serious trouble I always wished that I was a female and that maybe my life would be better.

I am in so awe of females these days, I am not attracted to them sexually but I am attracted to them by the clothes they wear, jealous that they can have children and yeah that they have periods and that there bodies change so much over the course of there lives, I get jealous, sorry just being honest.

I do think about what it would be like to take hormones and possibly grow breasts and I do think about getting surgery but know that I will never ever be able to pay for it and save up that much money. I honestly feel that if I won the lottery or came into a large ammount of money that I would start my transition to become a woman, I feel that strong about it.

Well anyway I am ready for the back lash and the judgemental comments and perhaps you thinking I shouldn't be here because this is a gay and lesbian place and thats fine because I have joined a half dozen transgender places and making my home there. I just thought since I have been here awhile that I should just be upfront and honest about who I really am.

Camfer · 10-19-2014, 08:12 PM

Clarity is good. Best of luck on your journey.

Although the surgeries may cost a lot, I doubt the hormones are all that expensive. I have an intersexed friend. She was born in a man's body, but now she's got breasts, no balls, and a dick. For her she was complete at that stage. I bet she spent more money on laser hair removal than getting her balls chopped off. You might not really know the extent of body changes you need until you get further down the path. Just take it one day at a time.

BlueStar · 10-19-2014, 08:26 PM

Being gay/bi/trans isn't a requirement to be a member of GS, a part of our family. We're here to help you accept who you are.

It must be terrible how you're feeling. I think for now you should accept what you have, but transition is not impossible. You still can put apart money, day after day, to reach the necessary costs. I'd do the same, because I'd hate already to live not being my true self.

Best of luck.

10-19-2014, 09:26 PM

I say best of luck to you no matter where your self exploration leads you. And you'll always be welcome here.

10-19-2014, 09:34 PM

Hi Jason74,

Could you tell me what is it that makes you think you are transgender? Because I may have something that is common to you, and I wanted to change my gender in the past too.

But I never want to change my gender now no mater what, for couple of reasons:

Surgery is obviously expensive. But I have heard a lot from trans people that they have to inject hormon frequently. Those money that you need to spend on injection will likely be more expensive than surgery's cost.

Once you cannot afford the hormon injection, who will know what your body will degrade into.

Since you had to inject hormon in such an unnatural way, there is a high chance that your mood will get affected too, in negative way.

Are you sure you want to become a woman, or your just want to be treated nicely, and be an object of desired? Anyway, I'm not here to stop you from changing your gender, but you should research carefully about this first.

P/S forget to edit

10-19-2014, 10:04 PM

Quote:Well anyway I am ready for the back lash and the judgemental comments and perhaps you thinking I shouldn't be here because this is a gay and lesbian place and thats fine because I have joined a half dozen transgender places and making my home there. I just thought since I have been here awhile that I should just be upfront and honest about who I really am.

Oh good lord. Why? I can't even imagine anyone that I've run across here being judgmental about this.

10-19-2014, 10:23 PM

I know I am transgender because I have always wanted to be a woman and I have had the feelings of being that way. You can also take hormones in the form of pills as well and it takes longer than injections. I have been doing lots of reading about it. I mean I could also live as a woman without even taking hormones or getting the surgery done. They have clothes that you can wear that you come off as female. You can get breast forms that fit into bras that make it look like you have breasts and then there are wigs and make up and what not.

Though if you look at my profile pictures I don't have the most feminine body so I am thinking that I would have to take hormones to soften up my body to be more feminine. I mean first I would have to meet with a gender therapist to make sure that I am transgender and all that and then if I am they would have me go to a doctor that would prescribe hormones for me. I know that I am transgender because I really want to be a woman and I know that its who and what I am.

I mean I enjoy being male but I would rather be female.

10-19-2014, 10:30 PM

Good to hear from and thank you for being open and honest about yourself with us. You will get no judgement from me, just be who you really feel you want and need to be. All the best on your continuing journey of self discovery and hope that in the future you can truly happy and comfortable with your true self.

10-19-2014, 10:46 PM

I think you're amazing. Just saying.

Congratulations on the self discovery, yeah? And the self-acceptance as well.

ceez · 10-19-2014, 10:54 PM

Jason74 Wrote:Well anyway I am ready for the back lash and the judgemental comments and perhaps you thinking I shouldn't be here because this is a gay and lesbian place and thats fine because I have joined a half dozen transgender places and making my home there. I just thought since I have been here awhile that I should just be upfront and honest about who I really am.

this is a LGBTQ forum, you are always welcome here. plus that would be pretty bass ackwards if we didn't except the LBTQ. I'm happy you are finding yourself and best of luck on your journey Smile