Is a goldstar lesbian a lesbian that didn't have penis in vagina sex ?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Who makes up this stuff? Whaddabunchohooey!

Well clearly you are a generic brand of cola... :tongue: :biggrin:

[Lexington]

I had one guy tell me I wasn't a "gold star" gay because I had asked a woman if she wanted to have sex with me, even though she turned me down. I guess everybody has their own definition.

Lex

[Melody]

I strive to make everything about me, so let's do that. What kind of star do I get to have, as a gay man, as I have never had any kind of sex with a woman? Does that make me a brown star gay?

On a serious note, I guess I can understand why never being penetrated by a man, makes you a gold star lesbian - you've just always known and felt no desire to even try it, with a man. If we follow the idea of sexuality being in shades (this had some name attached to it), where you can be 100% gay, 100% straight or anywhere in between, being less than 100% gay leaves some room for curiousity and trying stuff out, which could explain why you lose your gold star.
Just discussing for the sake of discussing, I actually think it's silly and belittling to those who experimented.

I think you can be 100% gay and try sex with the opposite sex or be curious about or 100%straight and try the same sex . I hate this whole gold star thing .

[Melody]

... and, Melody, it's just another label... We've pointed time and time again that a label is only for the one who uses it for himself or herself to choose, and even then, is it useful?

This one just plan silly and not needed , I can get them arguing over the label lesbian but this is a bit too far .

[Elijoan]

The gold star concept is somewhere between dangerous and useless, for reasons already discussed here. However, to answer the original question, I think any kind of sex counts.

I also agree with this:

I think you can be 100% gay and try sex with the opposite sex or be curious about or 100%straight and try the same sex.

A bit off topic, but related:
Even though I've been in a mixed-sex relationship for the past 15 years, I was a lesbian for many years prior to that and still think of "gay" as including me, but use "bisexual" when picking a label. For the record, I hate that this site forces me to choose a relationship label -- I cringe when I see "straight relationship" by my name. I realize it's technically true, but it doesn't feel right. I also think neither "open" nor "monogamous" fits well and I alternate between them since I'm not sure how they're interpreted. On another site, I can simply select "partnered", which is fine.

[Rareboy]

If people want to bend the definition of 'Gold Star' in order to make themselves feel more worthy...then...whatever.

Sex is sex. Once you have done it with someone of the opposite sex....even a bj or hand job or cunnilingus or anal or penis/vagina....it doesn't fit the original definition of the term for homosex....however, a person can say...if they've dallied with their own and the opposite sex...that they are gold star bi-sexuals. See? Prizes for everyone.

But so what? I don't recall people giving out actual prizes or landing endorsement contracts for 'gold star' homos or straights.

[Melody]

If people want to bend the definition of 'Gold Star' in order to make themselves feel more worthy...then...whatever.

Sex is sex. Once you have done it with someone of the opposite sex....even a bj or hand job or cunnilingus or anal or penis/vagina....it doesn't fit the original definition of the term for homosex....however, a person can say...if they've dallied with their own and the opposite sex...that they are gold star bi-sexuals. See? Prizes for everyone.

But so what? I don't recall people giving out actual prizes or landing endorsement contracts for 'gold star' homos or straights.

But I hate too when some lesbians say they only date gold stars it's like what the hell man

[Pix]

^^

If they say something like that I feel like I'm better off without them anyway. Seriously, if I was a gold star lesbian I'd lie about having been with men just to drive them away.

[Melody]

^^

If they say something like that I feel like I'm better off without them anyway. Seriously, if I was a gold star lesbian I'd lie about having been with men just to drive them away.

I actually did do that a few times and the funny thing is this one girl she slept with men in the past and I told her I did it with a guy and she was upset and didn't call me back .