Before I say anything, I'm a 24 year old virgin.
I'm desperate for sex, but I've never been in a relationship before. Been on many bad dates, nobody wants me relationship-wise...
I got fed up and I thought about casual sex. Hooking up with guys. It's so much easier, no pressure, just fun. Yes, however, there are risks, and that's what's stopping me.
But I feel like I need it, I just want to have fun. God, I'm sorry I'm a bit emotional this is really overwhelming, I've been through a lot of stress these days with different guys.
I need an opinion from a guy here who engages in casual sex. Really, what's your experience like, don't you think of STDs?
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Some people can have no strings sex, and some need that emotional involvement of some sort. If you're the type that needs the emotional involvement, casual sex isn't going to work for you so well.
I'm sure you get tired of hearing this, but you're only 24. There's still plenty of time to meet that Mr. Right. I don't know where you're looking for him, or how aggressively you're pursuing potentials, but if you're not making across the finish line, I'd look into the paths you're taking to get there and work on that instead of looking for short cuts and band aids to fix it.
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Well I'm no longer in casual sex but I had plenty before I settle down with my husband who also had quite a lot of casual sex. As my husband would tell you, you cannot just go around meeting guys for the first time and expecting a relationship to be built in the first encounters. It makes me cringe my teeth off every time I read that someone is looking for "relationship" when they have not been dating first. Unless you find your ideal partner on the first try (which doesn't happen too often), you cannot expect that magically you'll build a relationship, before calling out a relationship, you guys have to have been together for a while, even though you meet the person and all azimuths are met you are still not in a relationship.
Through dating a guy you will eventually find someone that match and you won't even need to call it a relationship, you will know it is when the time comes.
As for STD, buddy, I am a doctor, which doesn't mean that I can't catch an STD, yet the best is to always make sure that you protect yourself and never accept to have unprotected sexual intercourse with someone you've just met. Life isn't a porn movie, while the pornographic scene has made this fantasy of people having sex without condoms, it is to acknowledge that porn is fictive, there's quite a lot of things that you don't see when you're looking at a porn movie, such as the preparation to be sodomized (most actors have pretty clean asses right from the start) or you see scene where they are outside sitting on a parc bench and out of the sudden they get in a room and start fucking - this is not realistic as we all know what come out of your ass on a daily basis and porn actor's asses are not less different than any other people's asses.
The best for you to fight STD is not to go for people claiming that they are clean. What I often hear from people who came to me to have themselves treated for STDs is often "well he swore he was clean." Really? And how do you know that, how can you be sure he's telling the truth? Did he show you his certificate proving that he went for a checkup and that checkup was made a week or two before he had sex with you? How do you know in-between his checkup, he didn't have sex with another person? The answer is simple; YOU DON'T. You can't just go believing someone telling you they are clean. Even though one claim that he did not have had sex for months or years, you still have no idea because this is only spoken and not proven. Some STD can be caught even though you didn't have sex with anyone, suffice that you go lie on someone's bed who had an STD and you can see yourself start scratching yourself.
Wear a condom, condoms are very thin today, and you have so much choice that it is stupid to jeopardize your health just because some people claim not to feel anything when having sex with a condom, when you're having sex the pleasure isn't based on skin to skin touch, it's more the movement that creates the excitation level and yes you can still feel your penis rubbing against the anal conduct.
Want to eliminate the chances of contracting an STD, well WEAR A CONDOM and have your partner wear one too, clean your mouth before engaging oral sex, have a shower before and after sex, KEEP YOURSELF CLEAN and make sure your partner is clean as well. Simple as that. Once you know you guys can take the condom off, first you should both be going for a check up before doing so and you can have peace of mind and have unprotected sex.
My husband and I have been 9 years together and believe it or not, it does happen sometimes that we will both wear condom, mostly if we know that either one of us have caught a flu or a cold, you have no idea how many bacteria are building up when you have a cold or a flu and it's not all concentrated in your nose or throat. And if you have a cold and decide to suck your partner up, you can be certain that you'll pass the flu or cold to him because bacteria do not have a preference of the entrance, they will get in your body by any available holes they can find.
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I prefer sex in a relationship, I want all the emotions that come with it. Casual sex does nothing for me.
you need to think what it is you really want. if it turns out that just sex is fine, you do need to protect yourself.
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CellarDweller Wrote:I prefer sex in a relationship, I want all the emotions that come with it. Casual sex does nothing for me.
you need to think what it is you really want. if it turns out that just sex is fine, you do need to protect yourself.
I agree one hundred percent! having sex for the sake to release one's physiological need is fine for an animal. But I am more then an animal! I am a rational thinking human being capable of taking that basic animalistic instinct to a higher level of consciousness! sex is beautiful and highly pleasurable when you also take pleasure and pride being in company with someone you love as a person!
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CellarDweller Wrote:I prefer sex in a relationship, I want all the emotions that come with it. Casual sex does nothing for me.
you need to think what it is you really want. if it turns out that just sex is fine, you do need to protect yourself.
That's very nice but how do you get in the relationship in the first place. I don't believe that you called it a relationship the very first time you had sex? So believe it or not it was casual sex when you started. I'm very sorry to remove the "beautiful" from it, but let's call a cat a cat.
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LEANDRONJ Wrote:I agree one hundred percent! having sex for the sake to release one's physiological need is fine for an animal. But I am more then an animal! I am a rational thinking human being capable of taking that basic animalistic instinct to a higher level of consciousness! sex is beautiful and highly pleasurable when you also take pleasure and pride being in company with someone you love as a person!
You're still an animal, and again, first day you meet, first day you have sex you call that a relationship? Honestly guys! Please, the dude need reality, not cloud nine advices.
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Jake Wrote:You're still an animal, and again, first day you meet, first day you have sex you call that a relationship? Honestly guys! Please, the dude need reality, not cloud nine advices.
I never said that having sex implies being in a relationship!? and you are wrong in implying that we humans are just "animals" we are "RATIONAL" animals with a highly intelligent brain. We don't just think with our penis! A rational human being knows the difference and the consequences of their good and bad decisions/actions, unlike the rest of the animal kingdom, whose decisions/actions are driven by pure instinct, and without any knowledge or care of its consequences!
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I was in your situation but I was 26. I was waiting for that one person who wanted to be with me like I wanted to be with them but after 26 years of abstinence, seeing my friends lose their v-card and enter into relationships. I was ready to lose it to anyone. And I did.
Casual sex seems like it would be so much fun and enjoyable and I guess it was and can be. It's probably not the same when it's with someone you care about and they care about you. And there is that trust between the two when you are in a relationship. Also, when emotionally involved in a relationship, you both are trying to make sure the sex is enjoyable for both of you.
Also with casual sex, sometimes it doesn't matter how safe you are their is a possibility that you can get a STI. With casual sex, there really isn't that trust and sometimes the sex can be lackluster depending on who you choose to hook up with. Not all of them are great guys and can only be in it to satisfy themselves only and doesn't care if you get off.
I find that I am not the casual sex type of person. I want to have an emotional connection with my partner. I want him to care about me during sex and not just about himself getting off. The sex is probably hotter too when there is that passion.
Decide what you want more. A connection with the partner or just to have sex.
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CuriousPhoenix Wrote:I was in your situation but I was 26. I was waiting for that one person who wanted to be with me like I wanted to be with them but after 26 years of abstinence, seeing my friends lose their v-card and enter into relationships. I was ready to lose it to anyone. And I did.
Casual sex seems like it would be so much fun and enjoyable and I guess it was and can be. It's probably not the same when it's with someone you care about and they care about you. And there is that trust between the two when you are in a relationship. Also, when emotionally involved in a relationship, you both are trying to make sure the sex is enjoyable for both of you.
Also with casual sex, sometimes it doesn't matter how safe you are their is a possibility that you can get a STI. With casual sex, there really isn't that trust and sometimes the sex can be lackluster depending on who you choose to hook up with. Not all of them are great guys and can only be in it to satisfy themselves only and doesn't care if you get off.
I find that I am not the casual sex type of person. I want to have an emotional connection with my partner. I want him to care about me during sex and not just about himself getting off. The sex is probably hotter too when there is that passion.
Decide what you want more. A connection with the partner or just to have sex.
Beautiful! this is what I am talking about! casual sex is not only dangerous but it can also make you disattached from your emotional human side. And yes an emotional connection does make for better sex, guaranteed!
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