Alex Wrote:East trust me you did good that day, I was in a similar situation before I met Jake and that was the scariest night of my life, I was 18, a year before I met my husband and a bunch of friends and I decided to go out and have fun. Well this wasn't a fun night for me, I was verbally abused, guys would always grab my ass, I was paid so many drinks by too many guys. I started feeling like I was a target and yes I was a target. I spoke to one of my friends about my concern and he laugh, but he stopped laughing when we got out of the bar and three guys were waiting for us at the exit. I don't recall doing anything to excite them, I was just there with my friends talking, having a drink and socializing, but I was checked and checked and I didn't realize it. If it wasn't for the bouncer that night who was watching us over, YES i would have been either sleeping in the back alley after being savagely raped or dead. After that night I refused to go out to any bars or clubs because I feared for my security or my life. In another situation where I was with Jake and we went to a bar it end up in a fight with Jake beating the shit of another guy because he tried to have his way with me when I went for a piss in the bathroom. For fuck sake WHY? I just don't understand. Am I not a human being? I have feeling and yes, when you fuck me without lube it hurts OKAY! And what the fuck is wrong with people? How can you get excited when the person cries to dead, you hurt him, how the fuck can one get excited by that?
If I moan a little incorrectly during sex with Jake he'll immediately stop and ask me if I'm okay. I just don't get people.
Glad you ended up okay. Some close calls there. This makes me glad I don't attend gay bars...seems a lot more ruthless than straight bars.
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dynamodean Wrote:Glad you ended up okay. Some close calls there. This makes me glad I don't attend gay bars...seems a lot more ruthless than straight bars.
It's quite simple, we have banned clubs and bars from our lifestyle, I cannot beat up everyone that will look funny at Alex and he doesn't feel comfortable in bars or clubs so we make sure not to go there. In a way it's good because I hate any bar scenes. Because what happened to him at 18, also happened when he was 19, but this time I was with him and the guy who touched him spent the night at the hospital. However, he did come back to the bar and left an apology note for Alex. But although it was nice of him he shouldn't have touched my dude Period!
As Alex said, the fact that he's pretty and desirable in the eyes of other doesn't mean that he's open for sex with everyone and mostly not when his boyfriend is there with him. But hey, I look small and defenseless, nobody can see that I'm packed with muscles under my shirt. I guess he didn't see what was coming to him that day LOL.
Gay bars are not all that ruthless, but there's that thing about guys who doesn't understand that no means no or that some people aren't there to pick up a date. The guy claimed that Alex was flirting with him, but I was there, I saw Alex going to get drinks and the guy engaged the conversation, and my baby being a nice dude he never shun away people, he'll just talk to them with great smile, I guess the other twit thought that the smile was some sort of an invitation.
At some point Alex went to the bathroom to take a piss and I waited at the table and saw the guy he was speaking with following him to the bathroom and yeah, I didn't like it so I went close to the bathroom and waited outside and when I heard Alex screaming no I barged in grabbed the dude and knock his head against the stall. Got out of the bathroom and ask the barman to call an ambulance for the dude because, of course, there was blood all over the bathroom floor. And I explained to the cops what happened and there was other people in the bathroom who witness and agreed to the story I was telling. So we were free to leave. Which we did.
Simple rule. DON'T TOUCH MY DUDE! He's not a porn star nor a whore.
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Jake Wrote:It's quite simple, we have banned clubs and bars from our lifestyle, I cannot beat up everyone that will look funny at Alex and he doesn't feel comfortable in bars or clubs so we make sure not to go there. In a way it's good because I hate any bar scenes. Because what happened to him at 18, also happened when he was 19, but this time I was with him and the guy who touched him spent the night at the hospital. However, he did come back to the bar and left an apology note for Alex. But although it was nice of him he shouldn't have touched my dude Period!
As Alex said, the fact that he's pretty and desirable in the eyes of other doesn't mean that he's open for sex with everyone and mostly not when his boyfriend is there with him. But hey, I look small and defenseless, nobody can see that I'm packed with muscles under my shirt. I guess he didn't see what was coming to him that day LOL.
Gay bars are not all that ruthless, but there's that thing about guys who doesn't understand that no means no or that some people aren't there to pick up a date. The guy claimed that Alex was flirting with him, but I was there, I saw Alex going to get drinks and the guy engaged the conversation, and my baby being a nice dude he never shun away people, he'll just talk to them with great smile, I guess the other twit thought that the smile was some sort of an invitation.
At some point Alex went to the bathroom to take a piss and I waited at the table and saw the guy he was speaking with following him to the bathroom and yeah, I didn't like it so I went close to the bathroom and waited outside and when I heard Alex screaming no I barged in grabbed the dude and knock his head against the stall. Got out of the bathroom and ask the barman to call an ambulance for the dude because, of course, there was blood all over the bathroom floor. And I explained to the cops what happened and there was other people in the bathroom who witness and agreed to the story I was telling. So we were free to leave. Which we did.
Simple rule. DON'T TOUCH MY DUDE! He's not a porn star nor a whore.
Alex was lucky that you were in the right place at the right time. All good that it was a (relative) happy ending there.  I smile all the time as well and I know how it is with some people that can't tell the difference between a cordial smile versus a come-on smile.
As for gay bars being ruthless, I think they are pretty much hotbeds for potential horny pervs going out of control due to thinking with the wrong heads. Add drinks to the mix, and it it just a bad combination. I know someone who eventually gave up on visiting gay bars because he got unwanted visual and physical attention all the time. I just don't visit because they're really not my scene anyway. The closest I got to someone likely touching me without my consent was when I was on a tennis court of all places. An older guy kept commenting on my "nice form" and "nice serves" (it was late evening and we were alone on the courts) when I was practicing. He watched from the nearby bench he was on, and eventually proceeded to hang out closer to me and loiter behind me. What started as casual exchanges and pleasantries quickly became awkward silences and sexual comments and innuendos from him. I got weirded out and left the place before anything happened, and to this day I think I left right in time. I could have defended myself but I am a peaceful guy and prefer things to be that way. No harm, no foul
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dynamodean Wrote:Alex was lucky that you were in the right place at the right time. All good that it was a (relative) happy ending there. I smile all the time as well and I know how it is with some people that can't tell the difference between a cordial smile versus a come-on smile.
As for gay bars being ruthless, I think they are pretty much hotbeds for potential horny pervs going out of control due to thinking with the wrong heads. Add drinks to the mix, and it it just a bad combination. I know someone who eventually gave up on visiting gay bars because he got unwanted visual and physical attention all the time. I just don't visit because they're really not my scene anyway. The closest I got to someone likely touching me without my consent was when I was on a tennis court of all places. An older guy kept commenting on my "nice form" and "nice serves" (it was late evening and we were alone on the courts) when I was practicing. He watched from the nearby bench he was on, and eventually proceeded to hang out closer to me and loiter behind me. What started as casual exchanges and pleasantries quickly became awkward silences and sexual comments and innuendos from him. I got weirded out and left the place before anything happened, and to this day I think I left right in time. I could have defended myself but I am a peaceful guy and prefer things to be that way. No harm, no foul
Well, see I'm not violent either, one particularity of many people like me who have reached a very high level in martial arts are often the most pacifist people you'll ever meet. We know we can beat you up in 5 minutes, but we also know that we'll need to explain why it happened to the authority. Because I have more than one discipline in martial arts and more than 20 years in practice, I had to register myself as a contending weapon with RCMP (Royal Canadian Monty Police) which is similar to USA's FBI.
When I heard Alex screaming no, he had already pushed the guy away from him, but it seems that the dude went back trying to grab him because when I've got in he was trying to hug him. And no, people will often say that they blacked out, but I do not black out, I react by instinct and in that instinct, there's 20 years of training so yes, I finished him very quickly and left. I did it for Alex but I would have done it with any other guys in the same situation. Alex isn't defenseless, well at least now he isn't because he had a very good teacher , but at 19 years old, he was scared easily, and through some years of bullying because he was gay, when someone showed him violence he would freezes and cry.
It took me two days to calm him down after that incident, he had a hard time to sleep, had nightmares, back then he wasn't living with me but after that day I did ask him to stay home with me. I couldn't let him go home and be by himself.
Today, something like that would happen, I know Alex would defend himself without my help I spent 6 years training him and he became very good.
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Gay Bars/Nightclubs truly have the entire spectrum of human behavior ...the very worst...and the very best...and everything in between.....
One thing no one usually mentions is that objectifying other people and ourselves really sucks...for them and for us. Let me explain....
I was friends and sometimes fuck buddies with some of the guys who are considered to be solid 10s...and even though I can recognize their physical attributes I liked them for the same reason I liked any/all of my friends...something about who they were or their vibe. Looks alone are never a reason I would have sex with someone...even casual sex...I cannot get off on just looks. I have to like the guy...the way he moves...his attitude...his energy...our connection...his intensity (my favorite quality)...his intelligence...honesty...smile...sexual chemistry...lots of things....
Well....so many people putting them on pedestals and objectifying them sucks for a lot of those guys who have the same problems and insecurities as everyone else...and a lot of times they just want someone to SEE WHO THEY ARE...or HEAR THEIR VOICE...and not define them solely on what they look like. The problem is...if they mention it they are met with sarcasm and disbelief....like they should complain about anything since so many people would want to BE them....or that they should consider themselves "lucky" to be the object of other people's affections. Uh...maybe they aren't.
It really isn't fair....
They are individuals like everyone else....
...and then...ironically... so many of the people who do objectify them are mad because the person doesn't want to have anything to do with them....DUH....you treated them like an object and with contempt...it isn't exactly an aphrodisiac....
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Stupid Labels!!!
Were all human. Doesn't that count?
But seriously... This may be a little off topic but... Blahhhhhhh *Blows Raspberry*
Anyway, How can anyone, label someone? HUh? We are all different, none of us are exactly the same... So the whole reality of labeling someone is false allegations. Stereotypes, which started off, or sometimes still are, very negative views on others.
Ok, some can argue that labels help us obtain some security, some safeness. A shelter, But If we just hide away, as a label, then we are not, or won't reach our full potential as a person. A label is limiting you on your life, telling you what you should do, how you should live yer life. A dictatorship!
Yes it is not always clearly printed as a dictatorship or a limitation, but the small-print is always there.
You just gotta look hard enough. Lets say an *Goth* Or rather someone who is stereotyped with the label *Goth* didn't follow, their stereotypical *Rule Book* (Lets just see it that way, just for now) Would they still be stereotyped as a *Goth*? Hmm A challenging question...
Just something, I was thinking when I read this. Again Hahhahahahahaha
PUP
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There's nothing wrong being or called a twink.
Being or called a twink is complementary.
You could walk around the house and outside bare chested in the summer.
You could see and feel the jealousy...nice isn't it.
You can eat a Quarter Pounder and never give it a second thought.
You can ride all day at the amusement parks and not caring if getting too dirty with friends.
You can't duck doing house chores nor college homework.
You can't duck washing the car after secretly cruising down the main boulevard.
Yes...
Enjoy being a twink for now...in ten years you'll get jealous of the twink who took your place at the pinball arcade becoming the new wizard.
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