Can you be friends with a homophobe that has a crush on you ?

[Bluelight]

No, life's too short for that shit.

[LJay]

Just tell him politely that you would rather not see him again. Don't bother to explain. There is no real reason for you to have to take on that task. Just move on.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I do not keep company with bigots, haters, people who think its ok to hate a person due to their coming from a minority.

I definitely wouldn't make and keep friends with a homophobic individual.

Mind while I'm not like 'Fabulously out and about', I am out, and while I don't rub it in people's noses, I do not like to be in situations where I have to check my pronouns and think harder if anything I'm saying may remotely be or worse sound gay.

Your friend is not only a homophone, he is a male chauvinistic pig.

"But then he went on a rant about how women are poor emotional creatures , and we will go with anyone that love us."


This guy is no good news. Sorry. I bet when the conversation moves over to blacks he will have strong opinions, and Mexicans, more strong opinion.

Haters tend to hate all sorts of people, not just one. And has indicated he is a hater.

Birds of a feather flock together. If he willing to tell you his 'opinion' about others, you can bet he has told others. And any who know that and see you and him hanging out are going to assume that you are part of his flock.

Are you?

[Rareboy]

Simply.

No.

[Hardheaded1]

You might become friends down the road, after he reconsiders his prejudice, after he gets over his crush, after he gets mad when you tell him you're lesbian, after you decide it is worth it to come clean.

[ShiftyNJ]

Ain't nobody got time for that.

I stopped hanging out with a guy because I observed and didn't like how he treated women.

[Virge]

I'm odd man out on this subject but what's new about that?

When I meet someone who's quicker to let me know that they're homophobic than they are at finding out I'm gay (which is just a matter of asking anyone who knows me a a few hundred that know OF me) I take an interest in them automatically. I stay away from the subjects that would bring up anything about sex and usually find things we have in common. So we end up being speaking acquaintances over weeks or sometimes months. Then either one of two things happens. I see him and he avoids me which means someone else told him I'm gay and he's being freaky.... OR he'll come up and confront me for not telling me I was gay like it was something I need to have sign on my forehead about. I laugh that off and say it wasn't important enough to talk about it. THEN almost always the guy says "It's important to ME!" hahahaha! Thennnnn I say something like, "why do you need to judge me by who I fuck? Sounds pretty stupid doesn't it?"

After a few weeks of thinking about that most of those guys turn out to be okay and friendly. I've got three pretty good former homophobe friends who really go out of their way now to let gay people know they don't give a shit about who's straight and who's not. Let's face it. Most of "us" are a lot nicer, considerate and friendlier than "them." When you win over a homophobe you've usually got a solid friend. I'm their go-to guy for advice on dealing with gays at work or gay family members.

The only way to change the world is one person at a time.

[ShiftyNJ]

I'm odd man out on this subject but what's new about that?

When I meet someone who's quicker to let me know that they're homophobic than they are at finding out I'm gay (which is just a matter of asking anyone who knows me a a few hundred that know OF me) I take an interest in them automatically. I stay away from the subjects that would bring up anything about sex and usually find things we have in common. So we end up being speaking acquaintances over weeks or sometimes months. Then either one of two things happens. I see him and he avoids me which means someone else told him I'm gay and he's being freaky.... OR he'll come up and confront me for not telling me I was gay like it was something I need to have sign on my forehead about. I laugh that off and say it wasn't important enough to talk about it. THEN almost always the guy says "It's important to ME!" hahahaha! Thennnnn I say something like, "why do you need to judge me by who I fuck? Sounds pretty stupid doesn't it?"

After a few weeks of thinking about that most of those guys turn out to be okay and friendly. I've got three pretty good former homophobe friends who really go out of their way now to let gay people know they don't give a shit about who's straight and who's not. Let's face it. Most of "us" are a lot nicer, considerate and friendlier than "them." When you win over a homophobe you've usually got a solid friend. I'm their go-to guy for advice on dealing with gays at work or gay family members.

The only way to change the world is one person at a time.

I've had that happen too, and it does feel good to help someone get over that shit. When they ask me why I didn't tell them (if it's someone I have known a while) I generally say "BC I don't want to fuck you, and assumed it was mutual!"

But the person I mentioned does not have a problem with gay people (in fact I think he likes getting hit on) but he he makes racist and sexist remarks when he's angry (which is often). He doesn't want to be enlightened about that, and frankly I don't have the energy.

[Melody]

I'm wondering if , I should just come right out and say I'm a lesbian .

[RDM]

You'd find that most homophobes are actually affraid of being so in public. I actually work at a school (it's a volunteer job) and one of the teachers is an openly homophobe and speaks very highly of me in spite of knowing I'm gay. We're not friends, though, we just work together. In your case, I'd just be open about it, or steer away, whatever feels the right choice for you.