Taste in men and my personality

[alex27]

Hello to everyone, wasnt really sure if this is right place to ask for peoples advice on this but havent anyone in my own life to talk to about it and got a bit frustrated!

Im a 27 year old gay guy but I seem to feel differently to lots "not all" gay guys, im really put off by casual sex, and feel really dirty when ive done it. I dont feel comfortable gay clubbing and dont meet many gay guys at all these days.

The issue that brought me here is that I have "unusual" requirements for a potential partner. Ive always wanted a guy thats going to make me feel safe and protect me, he must be very manly and not expect me to penetrate him. Ive always fancied straight guys because of these "preferences" Do any other guys here feel like this? And is this a very unusual way of feeling for a guy? " I feel kinda isolated and lonely sometimes. Ive being single for so long (7 years now) so thought i'd ask for advice/ help.

If I havent posted in the right place can someone redirect me please!

Many thanks Alex.

[Radbot42]

This sounds a lot like me. I don't like casual sex, gay bars/clubs. The guy's I've met are all though online, and although none of the relationships worked out they were good guys with potential. You just gotta look at your options.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Hey man, welcome to GS.

What you're looking for, it sounds like, is a dominant partner that likes to top (sexually and possibly otherwise as well). Nothing wrong with that at all, and there's plenty of dominant guys out there.

When I was single, I -avoided- guys like that. Then I ended up with Gideon and.. hell, I might be fierce as hell about my independence? But I have to admit that it feels good having a big, strong partner in my corner. And it feels good that he takes care of me.

Don't give up hope yeah? And good luck!

[ChadCoxRox]

Hello to everyone, wasnt really sure if this is right place to ask for peoples advice on this but havent anyone in my own life to talk to about it and got a bit frustrated!

Im a 27 year old gay guy but I seem to feel differently to lots "not all" gay guys, im really put off by casual sex, and feel really dirty when ive done it. I dont feel comfortable gay clubbing and dont meet many gay guys at all these days.

The issue that brought me here is that I have "unusual" requirements for a potential partner. Ive always wanted a guy thats going to make me feel safe and protect me, he must be very manly and not expect me to penetrate him. Ive always fancied straight guys because of these "preferences" Do any other guys here feel like this? And is this a very unusual way of feeling for a guy? " I feel kinda isolated and lonely sometimes. Ive being single for so long (7 years now) so thought i'd ask for advice/ help.

If I havent posted in the right place can someone redirect me please!

Many thanks Alex.

Your desire and expectation are not that uncommon! I would never have a problem with your not wanting to penetrate me because I'm a "total top", but then I'm also gay and I like that cock too. So is it less manly that I want you to give me a facial?

I once dated a guy who didn't want anyone to show interest in his dick. He would hold it away from any action and "hide" it in all interpersonal interactions to the point that it became overt and eventually irritating when he would get frustrated with any effort to discuss it.

The point is, communication is the key. I think you'll have to be more patient and maybe flexible if you find yourself longing for companionship but holding out for an ideal. I'd suggest that the more you learn about it, from several points of view, the better. It's not a taboo subject and certainly not immoral or strange.

I hope you find the man of your dreams. But I also hope you enjoy every relationship you choose to establish all along your journey. Life is short. Best wishes!!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I can relate to being put off about casual sex. For me its not a sense of it being 'dirty', I just don't come away from the experience emotionally satisfied.

I view sex as icing on the cake, the cake being the whole context of a relationship. Without the cake, the icing just isn't complete/satisfying.

As for your stance on masculinity and wanting to bottom over top.

Its typical. A good chunk of relationships have clearer 'roles' for the partner both in and out of bed.

[DreamMaker]

I have the need for a strong stable man but lest from a dominant way. I want someone who's emotionally intelligent with soft attitude and yet able to endure my vast emotional expression (yeah, I know). I'm not sure about a top or a bottom though. Bottoming scars me but I think it can be nice and topping is hot too. So... yeah. The life of an inexperienced gay guy.

[dynamodean]

Everyone has their preferences and yours is certainly not strange. You know what you want, some guys aren't even sure of that.

And welcome to the boards...do stay around.

[alex27]

Hey everyone and thanks for replies! I do like dominant men but my post came across about dominant in bed perhaps, I just want to feel protected and looked after "not in a financial way lol"
If I give an example, when a guy makes a pass at another guys girlfriend, the guy steps in and defends her. I know there are dominant guys about but they seem in short supply, how do u find someone manly without going clubbing or the dreaded "dating" websites? if I did get lucky and find someone, imagine if he wants me to f**k him. Any advice real welcome!

[Radbot42]

Well there's no problem with that. If he wants you to top, I'm sure you could become a versatile couple. You just have to be open about what you want. Finding people in the real world is tricky. I've yet to do it. I mean I've met other gay people in the wild, but never when I was looking for a relationship.

[Rareboy]

You need to get out there and look.

When you connect with the right guy....everything will fall into place.