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11-08-2014, 06:15 AM

I've been having sex with a guy for a few weeks now, I fact he was my first. Lately he has been talking about organising a party(orgy) with a few guys maybe 5-6.
I've only just accepted my sexuality and am still getting to grips with everything sexual, but I'm scared if I say no to his idea I'll be all alone in a new world. Any thoughts?? Smile

jimcrackcorn · 11-08-2014, 07:06 AM

Anyone who wants you to participate in an orgy with several men that you don't know - isn't much interested in your health or safety...

I would politely refuse to participate in an orgy with a bunch of strangers because I don't want to catch any STD's (particularly AIDS or Hepatitis C).

There are other gay men out there, you shouldn't feel obligated to follow this one over a cliff.

Best Wishes,
Jim

11-08-2014, 07:56 AM

It really depends on what you feel comfortable with.

As long as you are safe and don't feel pressured into things you don't want to do then have fun.

11-08-2014, 08:09 AM

Unsure17 Wrote:I've only just accepted my sexuality and am still getting to grips with everything sexual, but I'm scared if I say no to his idea I'll be all alone in a new world. Any thoughts??

You're scared - Good.

But are you scared for the right reasons? :confused:

I suggest you get past the 'curious' stage and have an idea of what you are before rushing were angels fear to tread - such as into an orgy.

11-08-2014, 08:30 AM

Three.

Each answer you receive will be different, as morality and desires are as different as we are.

My answer is three, because I'm not interested in exploring sex, but in paring with a partner, a mate. For me, to start filling stadiums with spectaculars would be to begin to make sex the important thing. For me, it is not, even though I love sex.

It is not that dissimilar to the shopping lists you find online. Guys want this, guys want that, a dick has to be this, and the list goes on. I don't want a compilation of attributes -- I am interested in a person to love, to trust, and to share life with. Sex is one of the things I want to share, but I don't want it to become the objective.

You need to ask yourself what you want. Look around. See what others are doing, what is it gaining them? Then listen to your inner voice, not to be confused with anxiety.

11-08-2014, 08:50 AM

So why three?

What you are saying there seems to be more suggestive of two.

And from my experience, if you are playing around in a group an even number often works better so that nobody feels left out.

11-08-2014, 09:36 AM

Three is too many because two is the limit.

The math goes me plus one man.

Sorry if I was confusing. I didn't men two of us plus three more.

11-08-2014, 09:39 AM

Do not do anything that you are not truly comfortable with just to please somebody else no matter who they are.

MikeW · 11-08-2014, 09:42 AM

If you don't go, can I take your place?! Wavey

11-08-2014, 10:42 AM

but I'm scared if I say no to his idea I'll be all alone in a new

This is the part of your post that is disturbing to me....

I have been in a couple of orgies...they were not for me...I was bored...but when it happened AIDS was not a factor. I doubt I would do it today due to AIDS....

My specific question...do you WANT to say no? You say you are scared IF you say no but I think it is important to know if you want to say no...or want to say yes....or maybe you are thinking about it?

If you want to say no...I think you definitely should say no. Being scared how he will react is NOT a good path to take and might set a precedent for what happens with him in the future.