Hey guys! Wassup ya'all?
Umm, I want to share with you a personal thing with me.
I tend to be like... flirty. A lot. I just love that challenge to seduce men.
I love how they turn sexual without intending to.
But then... at the same time, I really want affection, touch, love and not just that.
How do you channel that sexual energy into romantic one?
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In my handbook of being an adult gay man, seduction is damn close to manipulation -- is, in fact, a form of manipulation. If I can seduce you, I can get you to do what I want, whether or not it is the best thing for you is not so important to me.
So, in my handbook, seduction is counter indicative of true romance -- that is, as opposed to drama filled "romance" (romance in quotation marks).
ETA.. Maybe I should fill that out a bit… What I'm saying is that to my mind seduction leads to the kind of entanglements that become 'drama'. They may be called "romance" in the sense of "romance novel" or "soap opera," but in the end that's all they are -- drama. And, to me, "drama" isn't real romance.
I don't know if I'm making any sense at all. Probably not. :\
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Hello, Idan, how are you doing, young man?
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MikeW Wrote:In my handbook of being an adult gay man, seduction is damn close to manipulation -- is, in fact, a form of manipulation. If I can seduce you, I can get you to do what I want, whether or not it is the best thing for you is not so important to me.
So, in my handbook, seduction is counter indicative of true romance -- that is, as opposed to drama filled "romance" (romance in quotation marks).
ETA.. Maybe I should fill that out a bit… What I'm saying is that to my mind seduction leads to the kind of entanglements that become 'drama'. They may be called "romance" in the sense of "romance novel" or "soap opera," but in the end that's all they are -- drama. And, to me, "drama" isn't real romance.
I don't know if I'm making any sense at all. Probably not. :\
I wouldn't be so harsh as Mike on that issue. Flirting is part of the mating ritual, it is pushing things a bit in a sexual, romantic direction, just to suggest that you are interested in someone sexually or romantically, and to see if they are ready to meet the challenge. There are all sorts of different ways of being flirty or flirtatious. I love the origin of the world flirt, which, if you didn't know, is French.
There is an expression in French "conter fleurette" which is basically the idea of telling a girl (or boy) beautiful stories, with flowers and such involved... the beauties of nature. Or maybe it's comparing your loved one to the beauty of flowers. I believe it's a medieval term, which took ground in English and then became flirt (do you now see the connection?).
Well, if you want things to go further DreamMaker, maybe you have to include more of yourself in the tale and make the other person understand what good you could offer them. It's like offering something on a platter or a tray, you can't be sure they'll want to drink or eat it, but you can at least make them understand that it's available.
We aren't talking about cock-teasing, are we?
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Flirtation and seduction occur along a spectrum. Wooing a lover, or just charming a friend or acquaintance is both worthwhile and an art.
Flirtation in many ways is merely an expected ritual of intercourse in society, and I don't mean sexual congress. It isn't always a prelude to mating or even between real potential sex partners. I think straight men in my workplace correct recognize humor, even platonic humor, tossed their way, as a form of acceptable flirtation. They enjoy being liked. It is only natural, even if they don't find other men sexually appealing.
Mistaking charm or seduction for a deeper connection is a mistake, as MikeW has intimated. But, without charm and flirtation, where would the world be? We wouldn't have Sophia Loren. We wouldn't have Southerners (in the U.S.), and we wouldn't have the fun that flirtation and charm often add to wit in debate.
DO try out your charms here. 
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Hardheaded1 Wrote:DO try out your charms here.
Yeah, sorry if I focused overly much on the 'dark side' of seduction.
I have no problem with flirtations but I get the point, there is a spectrum.
I guess what worries me a bit in these mating rituals is what happens when the honeymoon is over -- which all too often is the very next morning if not sooner. But, then, I admit to being no fun at all. It's not to be expected from an old Capricorn (read "goat" with a serpent's tail).
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Flirting is fine... to a point. I think reducing yourself and others to purely sexual objects, coming across as a slut or a cock tease isn't doing yourself any favors.
It's normal to want to be desirable, but make sure you're not false advertising, or fishing for what you don't want. It's dehumanizing.
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Everyone here made valid points. You too Mike.
A lot of that time it is turning to be too much of a game. A form of escape.
On the one hand, I want to be liked and on the other hand, I'm afraid of it.
This is why it feels so hard to move beyond. I guess that solution is to be open.
Also, I think that the extreme from of flirting is to keep things in control- control the situation and control the outcome.
Ugh, it's frustrating that I want to have something true and loving and yet I keep pushing it away 
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These days I see too many people indulging in flirting as a means to win favours and get some goodies for themselves.
I like wooing someone or being wooed as a part of a romantic involvement. Or at least as a means to explore the possibility of one. But not otherwise...
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Well, definitely not to get goodies. But yeah, I know what you mean.
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