Need Advice for an Ambiguously Romantic Friendship

[galadriel]

Hi! So I'm kind of questioning my sexuality right now. I'm an 18 year old girl who has assumed she is straight up until the past few years when I've had more exposure to the LGBTQA community and media. So basically my story starts when I met my friend (who's also a girl) the second year of high school. We really hit it off, and we've remained close friends since. Starting last year we started this running inside joke that we're married (idk how it started), but it's kind of been a continuous thing. A lot of our humor is pretty sexual, but recently something has changed. We continue to joke about being married, dating, or being gay (we've talked about how we're not fully straight). She consistently stands much closer to me than is necessary, especially when we're alone, and we often cuddle together. We joke about making out and sex and thing like that, but now I'm having a hard time defining everything we talk about as purely comedic. And I think about her all. the. time. Things like going on dates, holding hands, just being next to her, and kissing her. But I have no idea if she's like this with everyone (I don't think she is), and if she feels the same way. She also has a really hard time being vulnerable in any way and is extremely sarcastic, so I don't think she would ever come out and tell me if she was interested. We talk almost everyday and there's something about when are eyes lock when we're laughing that just seems magical. I've never dated anyone before so I don't really feel like I have the best judgement or knowledge about these kinds of things. I know you obviously don't know us and can't make the best judgement, but what do you think I should do? I really don't think I could ever muster the courage to actually tell her how I feel though, especially since I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that I'm crushing on her majorly (my first gay crush). I just get so happy when I think about being on a date with her, but I don't know if we would ever actually be comfortable being out as a couple (we go to a Catholic school). Honestly, just being honest and revealing my feelings directly is out of the question for now. I'm desperate for advice. Thanks!

[Beaux]

Hi gladriel,
I sincerely wish I had more help to offer you, but I don't. For various reasons, young lesbian love has it's own set of challenges and roadblocks than those experienced by your gay male peers.
So, please understand that I can only provide you with what I think is appropriate for someone in your situation and age group. In other words--take this with a grain of salt, because social norms for boys and girls are totally different during the teen years.
However, from what you have written, it see,s to me that there is a distinct possibility that you friend is experiencing feelings that mirror your own. If I were in your shoes, I would probably wait until we were both alone and enjoying each other's company, and lean in for a kiss. If she responds, then you have your answer, and if she rebuffs your advance you can play it off as just "one of those things". That's just the way I would go.
Though we have fewer female members than male members here on GaySpeak, there are a few who are somewhat regular posters, and perhaps they can offer better insight to your situation and better advise.
Please keep us updated! We are glad to have you here on the forum!
~Beaux