Going on my first date with any guy but he's 10 years older

[tyler94]

Now we met on grindr (I know) but I found it really easy to talk to him... and like I'm the type of guy he's looking for...(before I went into too much detail about myself) I even found it easy to flirt with him on the phone call (we chatted on grindr for like 3+ hours beforehand) and I have social anxiety really bad. Now before you accuse me of daddy issues I honestly thought he was only like 25 when I saw his pic(I'm 20)
But now I suddenly have anxiety about the whole thing like telling my mom I have my first date. I doubt she'll be thrilled he's 30 but 10 years older isn't too bad, right?
And trust me I did as much as I could to do to verify that this isn't a catfish... (we're gonna meet in pubic, obviously)
my mom even said she thinks I'll be like the woman of the relationship if i 'm with a man after I came out and little did she knows that is what I want.
So any advice?

[BrianNorth]

Do you like older men? If so then rock on! It sounds like you have some reservations about his age but is that more your own concerns or concerns of what other people think? You live for you so don't worry about what other people think.

It really boils down to the chemistry between you two. Sometimes 10 years is a huge gap. If you are 20 and into partying and going out 5 nights of the week and hes more apt to stay in and play videogames and cook then you may have some roadblocks but there are mature 20yr olds and immature 30 year olds. It's alllll about the dynamic between the two of you. Go on the date and enjoy yourself!

[tyler94]

Kinda, I'm not really attracted to my fellow twinks and prefer muscle, some fat, average, or somewhat hairy guys over kidish looking guys...and lots of people around my age are twinks still.
I'm more afraid about what others will think.

[dynamodean]

My man, don't be afraid of what others think. Do what YOU want. If you dig this guy, then go for it and get to know him better. Age is just a number attached to when he was born. If you stress over the age thing, you will miss out on some great guys, and great people in general.

[MisterLove]

What a relief, I thought you said he was 10 years old!

[DonJon]

Hi, tyler94! mile:

Take your chance and find out more about him. Don't worry about what others will say or think. What matters is what you think or feel.

And about your mom telling you that you might gonna be the woman in the relationship, did she realize that she's a woman herself? I highly respect and adore roles women perform because they maintain a fine balance in society. I don't care whether a person is dom or sub, as long as you are putting something unique and "you" in a relationship. That's what matters.

Hope you have a fun and exciting date, tyler94! mile:

[trywait]

What a relief, I thought you said he was 10 years old!

almost dyslexic there! :p

[Rareboy]

My first LTR was with a guy who was 9 years older and there has been an age gap between many people in our family.

As everyone else has said....don't worry about what others will think...make yourself happy.

[ShiftyNJ]

My dude is 9 years younger and in many ways he's the grown-up. We've been together for 11 years, it becomes less of an issue over time. But enjoy the first date first!

[BrianNorth]

Kinda, I'm not really attracted to my fellow twinks and prefer muscle, some fat, average, or somewhat hairy guys over kidish looking guys...and lots of people around my age are twinks still.
I'm more afraid about what others will think.

That hammers is home right there! You have your own take on attraction and you need to go after what gets you going. I dated a guy 6 years older than me and eventually I learned that I'm much more compatible with people around my age but I certainly don't regret the relationship. Life is all about experimenting and relationships and dating are no different. You won't know any better until you give it a try. Just be safe about it . The public place thing is a good idea.