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My Mom
#1
Well its been a few weeks or so sinceI have posted, I have been busy skiing and working here and there. I told my mom that I am transgender and ever since I had told her she has been very supportive and she has sent me links to clothing places and other things like that and I have appreciated it. Love buying things that are cheap especially when it comes to female articles of clothing. Well just recently she sent me an email asking if I think I would visit San Francisco and I told her that perhaps I would in the future.

Then she started to say that if I found a job in SF that I could get my surgery paid for if I lived there through the state or something like that which I really don't understand. I know for a fact that I am transgender but I am not sure how close I am even to thinking about getting surgery or making that drastic step. I know that you are never too old to decide who and what you are but there are lots of life choices to make when it comes to changing your sex and the way that you live.

It would be a drastic move on my end to take hormones to get breasts and then the big step of getting surgery as well. I mean I really want to but then on the flipside I am scared shitless to get any of that done or even actually dress fully as a woman in public. I mean my life and what it entails now is that I work and live at a ski resort in Colorado. I am around mostly other guys and what not and I try and imagine if I was trying to live as a woman and how akward it would be to work and live in that same situation, I just can't imagine doing it.

I know that I shouldn't live like that worrying what other people think and even though I am not a social butterfly I would say that just saying hi to people by passing them in the hallways or outside or on the slopes is pretty cool and think that would be different if I were trying to become a woman. Perhaps changing my job would be the thing that I would have to do.

Then I imagine if I was taking hormones and my breasts were slowly growing and that right there would be a game changer and that I would have to start that way of living but then I thought I could also strap them down when I am working but I know that would be a pain in the ass to do and that I would want to show them off, lol.

It just seems like I am not sure if the end result will be a total transformation or if I will have to just deal with the struggles of wanting to be a woman for the rest of my life and not actually doing anything about it. I mean the things that I do in life are very manly but woman do the exact same things as well so that is just an excuse to keep putting it off.

I told my mom that I had no interest in honestly living in SF or even CA for that matter and that if I was going to live anywhere it would have to be WA, OR and or Colorado. Those are the only states that I could see myself living in. She seems to understand and she just wants be to be happy and I love that she has been so cool about all of this. I mean this is still all new to me as well.
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#2
Thanks for the update Jason. It sounds as though you are taking the time and that is encouraging. VERY nice hearing about mom's support. Have you made any appearances outside your own privacy yet? If so, how was it besides nerve wrecking?

I must be honest, seeing how masculine and handsome you look and thinking of you dressing in women's attire around the house seems so sexy and appealing to me personally. I could really get my fantasy on exploring those hot thoughts.

My George likes women's lingere but he's very repressed about it so he'll only "play" if he's been drinking. Since I try to minimize the alcohol (I'm in recovery), we don't go there very much. But he knows it turns me on and I shall make an effort to have you in our home tonight in spirit if only with the bath towel, the silk sheets and the warm embraces. I'll hold him and tell him about your journey and effort and we will celebrate your bravery. mmmm

...better stop there... Sagrin
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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#3
Good to hear from you , buddy!
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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#4
Wow, that was really inspiring Jason74! Confusedmile: Standing up to something that makes you happy and true to yourself. I just wish you well on your journey towards becoming yourself. Blessings! Confusedmile:
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#5
Great News Jason! It is very nice to hear that she is supportive for you....I am happy for you...

I do think you should listen to yourself though and live in a place that you feel happy about....
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#6
I am very glad your mom is being supportive about this.

I think for a lot of folks, when they hear you consider yourself transgender they assume you've already made up your mind to make these physical changes, because that is what mainstream culture thinks being transgender means. In fact I do not know what percentage of people who ID as trans take things to that level, but I believe it is lower than most people think.
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#7
Really great to hear that your mum is being so supportive of you.

As for your transgender issues take your time to think it about it and plan your next steps carefully, maybe you need to seek some Counseling to help guide you , or try to contact other trangenger people for their opinions and guidance,

Stay strong and all the best. Smile
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#8
It's really great to hear that you're mom is supportive. A lot of parents either aren't or take forever to come around.

I think you should really get involved with the mtf community in your area. There's probably support groups that can offer resources and it's really nice to meet people who totally get it. You could also look for a trans specialist therapist. It's required anyway if you want to physical changes and they can really help you figure out what your next step is and what is right for you. A regular ol' counselor or therapist probably won't fully understand trans issues even if they are accepting and in my experience some even don't know a lot about transitioning and may give you misinformation (that totally happened to me once, I was appalled).

Whether or not you decide to make some, all or no, physical changes should be entirely because that's what is best for you. It's your body and it's your happiness that is at stake so whatever you decide should be because that's what will give you the most fulfilling life.
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