Anxiety & Being Gay

[Hardheaded1]

I can't go into a jewelery store by myself. I can't pinpoint what it is as I know it's insanely stupid but to this day I can't. I've paid coworkers to get new pins for my watchbands in the past lol.

Jewelry stores are indeed odd places with an incredible amount of implied sales pressure.

In addition to your mother's errand, it is also possible the silence focuses perceived attention on you and the attendant pressure. Additionally, the setting itself is intense, like a china shop. Every shelf is lined with expensive items and glass. The perceived potential for liability or damage is huge. It could easily all appear to be the tension equal to a bolder perched on a pinnacle, waiting for a tipping to cause it to crash down.

I would imagine car sales lots and furniture stores are also anathemas.

[Virge]

Brian I think you did more good than you expected opening this thread. You better plan on making your skinny butt at home here. You are one of us for sure.

As for your jewelry store issue. I'm in Denver right now selling gemstones to dealers here. Do you have any idea what mark up in the jewelry industry is? Nothing I sell them gets less than 400% and some up to 800%. There are other ways to get what you want and pay lots less for it...

[Hardheaded1]

Jewelry, like many commodities, is priced to market, not tied to cost of production or acquisition. That pattern is visible across many industries for things as diverse as the $20 plastic cover for your cell phone (that likely costs less than a dollar to produce) to true prestige items that you would find on Rodeo Drive.

Recently several drug companies jacked up the price of their generic drugs by hundreds of percent increases. Why? Because they could. As their competition left the market, they exploited. A decade or two back a mundane drug was found to be unique in efficacious treatment of some rare disorder. The price jumped to a ridiculous level due to the willingness of people to pay, yet the cost of production had not changed a cent. Plain old price gouging.

[BrianNorth]

Brian I think you did more good than you expected opening this thread. You better plan on making your skinny butt at home here. You are one of us for sure.

As for your jewelry store issue. I'm in Denver right now selling gemstones to dealers here. Do you have any idea what mark up in the jewelry industry is? Nothing I sell them gets less than 400% and some up to 800%. There are other ways to get what you want and pay lots less for it...

Thank you sir <3. I really enjoy it around here. I post 4x more then anywhere else as I do feel at ease.


I hear you on the markup. Chris and I got tungsten 'promise' rings. $399 something in stores. I paid 9 dollars for his and he 11 for mine online and its the same product. Same goes with a 'tag heuer' watch I have. Retail was $5800 and I ordered one from China for $62. It's just as heavy, build quality is incredible. While technically being a knockoff it's as close to the real deal as you get. Why pay $5800 for some stainless steel and glass?

[East]

I was VERY LUCKY to work with a therapist who worked mainly with empaths ...she found us....

....and she gave me the tools to pretty much cure most of my anxiety....

I avoid places and people where what is happening inside someone doesn't match what is happening outwardly which was once the cause for most of my anxiety....

...no weddings or funerals...severe anxiety and not a good place for empaths....

I try to avoid hospitals as well but when I must go I work really hard to create a wall around me so I don't absorb too much...it's a lot of work....

The only time I get anxiety now regularly is on rare occasions I am standing in a long line at a store and there are bright lights....lighting is a big contributing factor. I would get it more but if the lighting is too bright I just vacate the premises but when I am stuck in line...and I need to buy whatever it is...I just talk myself through it. I try not to make eye contact with anyone when it happens so it doesn't make it worse...

[Camfer]

[MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] does it help if you wear sunglasses in the brightly lit stores?

[BrianNorth]

I was VERY LUCKY to work with a therapist who worked mainly with empaths ...she found us....

....and she gave me the tools to pretty much cure most of my anxiety....

I avoid places and people where what is happening inside someone doesn't match what is happening outwardly which was once the cause for most of my anxiety....

...no weddings or funerals...severe anxiety and not a good place for empaths....

I try to avoid hospitals as well but when I must go I work really hard to create a wall around me so I don't absorb too much...it's a lot of work....

The only time I get anxiety now regularly is on rare occasions I am standing in a long line at a store and there are bright lights....lighting is a big contributing factor. I would get it more but if the lighting is too bright I just vacate the premises but when I am stuck in line...and I need to buy whatever it is...I just talk myself through it. I try not to make eye contact with anyone when it happens so it doesn't make it worse...

Glad to hear it! I'm lucky mine is just general and not so complex. That being said setting boundaries to those things is perfect. I have similar rules. If someone brings anxiety into my life they're gone the second time it happens. Doesn't matter how cool they were etc. 2 strikes.

[East]

[MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] does it help if you wear sunglasses in the brightly lit stores?

That might actually work! I am surprised now that it hadn't occurred to me. Hopefully I have a pair with me next time so I can try it...I would LOVE it if I could thwart it...

Glad to hear it! I'm lucky mine is just general and not so complex. That being said setting boundaries to those things is perfect. I have similar rules. If someone brings anxiety into my life they're gone the second time it happens. Doesn't matter how cool they were etc. 2 strikes.

Yeah...I think by identifying the triggers and setting the boundaries it can do (most of) the trick...

[BrianNorth]

That might actually work! I am surprised now that it hadn't occurred to me. Hopefully I have a pair with me next time so I can try it...I would LOVE it if I could thwart it...



Yeah...I think by identifying the triggers and setting the boundaries it can do (most of) the trick...

Yep! Like I can't stop the general day to day but stable foundations have been the key to me. If I can trust my life to be stable I can take risks that bring anxiety into it. Like YouTube for example. Biggg anxiety barrier there for me.

[Beaux]

That might actually work! I am surprised now that it hadn't occurred to me. Hopefully I have a pair with me next time so I can try it...I would LOVE it if I could thwart it...



Yeah...I think by identifying the triggers and setting the boundaries it can do (most of) the trick...

In awkward social situations, I often find that wearing "eye-averters" (caps with LOMG bills that prevent eye contact or sunshades) give me a feeling of safty and security.
~Beaux