Hopelessness

[Zet]

I don't know how to start or what to say. it feels like just another ranking post, just like the many dousins of posts that I have already made about my well being. Afterall I already know what everyone will say like I've heard it so many times already.

I just looked and my last ranting post was in october last year, I guess Bowyn Aerrow could've been right saying from the start that it might just be seasonal depression. But even after eating anti anxiety pills, anti depresants, vitamin d & c pills and I just feel like my desire to live has vanquished completelly. I went to a doctor about this but all they did was to prescribe new pills month after month instead of letting me to through terapy.

I am just tired of it all. I just wish that I could just stop breath or get a heart attack so that I could die without having to commit suicide. I don't feel like doing anything when I am not working, last time I was hanging out with my brother or a friend was a month ago and we barelly spoke a word then. I've just lost the abilety to socialize.

The only thing possitive that I can look forward (Which is also one of the things that brings me the most anciety) is going to work. I work as a Dessert chef, a patisiere at a castle in a village around 60 kilometers from here. The work itself is really nice but we are so heavily understaffed that they demand to much from me, and eventhough that I have explained how I feel at many occations do they express empathy towards me but no action is never going on to hire more staff or to make my job easier. They just say "oh pity you" and then going away like nothing happened.


I don't know what to say as final words. I am not sure if I am longing just for a pat on the back or advice. I just felt like saying this to ease my heart, though it feels like it is slowly disolving. Everything just feel gray and hopeless.

[East]

Hi Zet! I haven't see you post much at all lately.

The one (and only) thing I am good at in this area is finding the bright spot...and you did that for me. You said you like your job and so...expand what you are doing..even if it means volunteering somewhere in a place they NEED you. It seems you have some kind of passion there..so explore it fully.

[Ekwarph]

Don't know what to say unless…keep it up. You like your job and appearently, you do it well, so…try to attach to that. I don't know if it's difficult to find a job as a dessert chef in Sweden…from what I saw, according to the number of "konditori"… do you think you can consider changing? Or at least starting to look?

Lycka till, det ska vara bättre, jag är säker! Kram!

[Haruka]

Why is it that you feel so strongly about not wanting to live anymore? Has something happened? Is there something you wish you could do, but feel like you can't?
I'm sorry if this sounds like an interrogation but I want to understand why you're feeling this way.

As for your job I'd suggest voicing your complains again. Try to be as objective and assertive as you can. Make sure they know exactly what's wrong and what's needed to make your workload lighter. If they ignore it again you can always start looking for a similar job elsewhere. Nobody has to overwork themselves. It's not healthy, and stress is not something you need right now.

You will probably not believe me, but things really will get better. Things change. People change. Even your feelings will change. Hang in there.

[bluerealm]

I get into these moods my self.
in fact i just tried to delete my account.

I just looked and my last ranting post was in october last year, I guess Bowyn Aerrow could've been right
saying from the start that it might just be seasonal depression.
But even after eating anti anxiety pills, anti depresants, vitamin d & c pills and I just feel like my desire
to live has vanquished completelly. I went to a doctor about this but all they did was to prescribe new pills
month after month instead of letting me to through terapy.

so send your self to therapy.
something is wrong with you. is it chemical or mental ?

find a doctor who cares!


The only thing possitive that I can look forward (Which is also one of the things that brings me the most anciety)
is going to work. I work as a Dessert chef, a patisiere at a castle in a village around 60 kilometers from here.
The work itself is really nice but we are so heavily understaffed that they demand to much from me,
and eventhough that I have explained how I feel at many occations do they express empathy
towards me but no action is never going on to hire more staff or to make my job easier.
They just say "oh pity you" and then going away like nothing happened.

so you have something you like in your life.
think about looking for some place else to work.
or think about the future and open your own place up. be your own boss so you control your workload.
keep your mind from being bored.

we can't stop you from killing your self you have to do that your self.
you have to find the help for your self.
if you keep talking about it your going to end up doing it.

I'm not trying to compare lives but if i told you my life story you would feel so much better about your self.

trust me .... when i say i have problems.

we all have problems!

[2tuff]

I would recommend you look at using Aurum Met 30c and Lycopodium 30 homoeopathic remedies. Do some research on both of these.

[ChadCoxRox]

no words will be enough
maybe you could find some ways to act out safely???
as for work, it all pays the same whether you get it all done or not and you are valued or they'd complain... do what you can to your acceptable best and let the rest SUCK IT!



three six nine the goose drank wine monkey chewed tobacco on a street car line
line broke monkey got choked and they all went to heaven on a little row boat


random thoughts suck
bland is no worse than charismatic
depression is best served with a light, golden crust

hope your blues bring you back to GS repeatedly until it passes enough to feel a bit better.

[Hardheaded1]

Hi, Zet.

I know how you feel, minus loving my work.

What about you seeking psychiatric treatment or just counseling on your own? Why does your doctor have to recommend it? I am unfamiliar with the structure of medicine in Sweden, but are you unable to approach a mental health professional under your own auspices?

[BrianNorth]

I think you may want to consider another doctor. I don't know the exact situation but any doctor here usually lets the patient decide which avenue to take. If you want therapy then you should be able to sit down with someone and talk it out. I'm guessing your medical system is similar to the Canadian one in that it's mostly referral based. So if you can get your doctor to send you to a therapist then there is no out of pocket expense?

If you continue with the medication you may want to get a psychiatrist. A family doctor can do basic medications but if it needs to be more advanced and worse multiple medications I'd be getting a doctor that specializes in that.

[Darius]

Hi Zet! I am new here and probably not the brightest bulb in the lamp, but I can honestly say I feel for you. I know it must be tough for you.

The first thing I noticed was that you were from Sweden. People in your part of the world are more affected by seasonal affective disorder. I know about this from my good friend who is from Finland. He suffered from it badly when he lived there and often felt depressed and suicidal.
Do you notice if your depression is worse during certain times of the year?

Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. I might be new to this place but it seems like guys really care. If you need empathy (and who doesn't) you will find it with many of us. Talk to us, see if it helps. Please?