"Date" walked away in the middle of dinner...

[dynamodean]

So this isn't necessarily a thread for me to complain, but more so to vent my thoughts...

I was on a blind date a couple nights ago. One of my friends decided to set me up on a blind date (long story) with a guy, let's call him "John". All I knew about John before the date was that he is hypersexual and isn't afraid to voice his opinion. My friend knows him from school and that he is currently single (as am I) and thought that we would get along well. Umm, okay. Whatever. I'm a very go-with-the-flow kind of guy so I didn't mind the blind date setup.

The dinner initially started out okay. There was no instant attraction but I didn't mind entertaining the idea that we could find something in common or that we could end up having casual sex. The conversation eventually delved more and more into his favorite sexual positions, his S&M tendencies, and how he likes to spike drinks (what?!)... Now I don't mind having sex on the first date or using sex as a way to get to know someone better, or heck, use each others bodies to get off...but I didn't agree with or share some of his fetishes. I told him as much. And this got him testy and offended. I joked with him that he may have to teach me some of his moves...but there was no turning back now. He was upset and his whole demeanor changed. He called me a judgmental asshole and that I'm too stupid to know any better.

What the hell was he expecting from me?? At this point I had lost all my appetite and before I could think of something to say back to him, he just up and left, leaving me to foot the bill.

I don't think I'm upset about this encounter. I was left feeling more of a "wow, did this actually happen." I later told my friend about this and he had no idea that John was like this.

Did I handle the situation incorrectly? I've never had someone just turn 180 and walk out on me. This is a first.

[East]

Oh gosh Dean...I am so sorry this happened to you..but so happy the jerk left...you dodged a bullet IMO...he sounds like one of the people you avoid in a bar...most people figure out quick who to avoid...

I had one blind date that was "official"...it was very awkward and there was no attraction...ugh...he spent the entire time talking about how hard it was to come to terms with his gayness.....and I am like the worst person to have a conversation like that with anyone as being gay is a complete non issue for me....I was screaming inside most of the date....

The part that got me..the spiked drink thing. I just made a thread about that recently...that would have turned me cold right there. You definitely dodged a bullet....

There are so many men out there who would love to date you..I am completely positive about that...so rock on and count your blessings.....

[dynamodean]

The part that got me..the spiked drink thing. I just made a thread about that recently...that would have turned me cold right there. You definitely dodged a bullet....

That was the part that really got to me as well. I could understand his other fetishes, but that one was several steps too far. I didn't care to be one of his victims but it was obvious he needed some help.

Dating is so much like a bag of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get. This one was a BIG surprise.

[Steve]

Spiked drinks? Isn't that sort of date rapey? That's some scary ass sh*t. I can't believe someone would just out and admit that kind of stuff on a first date. Yeah, it sucks that he left you the bill, but you're better off without him. Next he'd be showing you his handcuff collection and Ketamine supply. Count yourself lucky Dean.

It's like you have to run a criminal back check on a dude before you start to date him these days isn't it? Damn!

[JackTX]

There's no accountin' fer crazy!

[Hardheaded1]

Methinks "John" is headed for prison, either for rape, or for whatever psychosis it morphs into over time.

Considering the pairing of his S&M interests with spiking drinks, I'd say he's on his way to becoming a total psycho once youth and looks leave him behind in the dust and he's only left with his limited charms.

Thanks for sharing, Derek. The benefit to other men in the dating pool is invaluable. If a good guy like you can fish out such a creep, that's encouraging for the rest of us when we haul out an old shoe out of the pond.

Glad you are only out the price of a dinner and no real harm. Stick to your guns. Keep telling 'em that they're sick when they are. Immoral is immoral. Judging is a relative accusation. Thieves, rapists, pedophiles, and bankers all use it variously.

[MisterLove]

[...] Did I handle the situation incorrectly? I've never had someone just turn 180 and walk out on me. This is a first.

Honey, the guy is a jerk, never mind him.

A similar thing happened to me a few years ago. I was not looking for sex, just a nice dinner with a fellow teacher that seemed ok. Well, he wasn't ok. After dinner, he just left and I stood there like an idiot.

I was very young and imature at the time, so for the next few weeks I filled his mailbox with all sorts of threats and horrible things.

[MisterLove]

Methinks "John" is headed for prison, either for rape, or for whatever psychosis it morphs into over time.

Considering the pairing of his S&M interests with spiking drinks, I'd say he's on his way to becoming a total psycho once youth and looks leave him behind in the dust and he's only left with his limited charms.

Thanks for sharing, Derek. The benefit to other men in the dating pool is invaluable. If a good guy like you can fish out such a creep, that's encouraging for the rest of us when we haul out an old shoe out of the pond.

Glad you are only out the price of a dinner and no real harm. Stick to your guns. Keep telling 'em that they're sick when they are. Immoral is immoral. Judging is a relative accusation. Thieves, rapists, pedophiles, and bankers all use it variously.

Wise words, Honey.

[araya]

S&M? spiked drinks? what the hell
S&M is well, pretty acceptable (tho' most ppl don't like it) but spiking drinks?
you can't compare fetishes w/ crime, crime is a crime no matter how you look at it
and NO, you're not being judgemental, you're just being sane
you handled the situation correctly, nothing's wrong w/ what you've done/said to him

[Haruka]

Never stick your dick in crazy.