"Date" walked away in the middle of dinner...

[ShiftyNJ]

There ought to be some sort of a "DOUCHEBAG" tag with a zip tie that can't be removed that you can whip out in a situation like this, thread it through the guy's nose or whatever convenient tie-down point you can find, to ward off others. People who spike others' drinks don't deserve to breed.

[Virge]

I'm with everyone else about the spiked drinks. I wouldn't have been as nice about it as you were. That's one of those things gays ought to organize and ostracize guys for -- I mean make them outcasts unwelcome everywhere until they get some help for it...

But the part that made my skin crawl was the slime ball actually had the nerve to say it on a "first meeting" with you almost like he was bragging about it. After he just threw it out in the conversation like that I wouldn't have felt any reason to be polite about how I feel about it. I'd have made him feel like the scummy creep he is. Spiked drinks = nonconsensual sex.
[MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION]... send me some nerve pills please.

[Hardheaded1]

S&M is well, pretty acceptable (tho' most ppl don't like it) but spiking drinks?
you can't compare fetishes w/ crime, crime is a crime no matter how you look at it

Um, actually, you can. When the fetish is S&M and mentioned in the same breath as non-consentual sex (drugged partners), then it isn't a huge logic leap to guess that the two may be merging in a very unsavory way.

Does that impugn everyone who is an S&M fan? No.

Does Dr, Drink here sound like he might do most anything with a victim/date? Hell yeah.

[araya]

Um, actually, you can. When the fetish is S&M and mentioned in the same breath as non-consentual sex (drugged partners), then it isn't a huge logic leap to guess that the two may be merging in a very unsavory way.

the thing is, he didn't want people to "judge" him w/ his so called fetish
the other one is a fetish yet the other one's a crime
you CAN'T make a crime your sexual fetish and proudly call it your fetish
and when you take those things together, you can no longer call it fetish
it's a crime no matter how you look at it

[Lexington]

Please notice how "judgmental" and "asshole-ish" the rest of us are in this thread. Some things are completely OK to be judgmental and asshole-ish about.

Years ago, in high school, my friend and I were eating at a fairly cheap restaurant. He said "Let me show you a trick. If you can figure out how I did it, I'll pay for dinner. If you can't, you pay." I said sure. He had me put both my hands face-down flat on the table. He then carefully balanced our (still pretty full) water glasses on each of them.

Then he got up and left.

...this would've been a good time to pull that out.

lex

[ShiftyNJ]

...this would've been a good time to pull that out.

I know when was a good time for "John"'s dad to pull out

[meridannight]

you didn't do anything wrong from what i gather from your description. the guy overreacted. and, from your description, it sounds like you're better off. i wouldn't take it too seriously. whatever his problem was it was his problem.

also, what [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] said. spiked drinks? that is unacceptable. no discussion about it. i probably would have gotten up and walked out myself at that and left him to pay the bill.

on a side note, personal chemistry is a very important indicator. it doesn't have to be the intensest chemistry you've ever had with a guy, but something should be there. if it's not....i've found guys like that and me don't fit either.

[bluerealm]

I'm drinking a beer but let me get this clear.


The conversation eventually delved more and more into his favorite sexual positions,
his S&M tendencies, and how he likes to spike drinks (what?!)...


Now I don't mind having sex on the first date or using sex as a way to get to know someone better,
or heck, use each others bodies to get off...but I didn't agree with or share some of his fetishes



I joked with him that he may have to teach me some of his moves....



so .... hes telling you what a slut he is and how he likes to spike drinks and what not.
but he gets offended when you say he could teach you some things?????

and your like sure lets have sex and figure the rest out later.


so you want to sleep with him but hes offended that he just told you that he rapes people????

let me finish this beer....

this is to strange for me to reply.


i just want to drink my beer.

[Wade]

I all see is you dodging a vapid, raping bullet. Congrats.

[Hardheaded1]

the thing is, he didn't want people to "judge" him w/ his so called fetish
the other one is a fetish yet the other one's a crime
you CAN'T make a crime your sexual fetish and proudly call it your fetish
and when you take those things together, you can no longer call it fetish
it's a crime no matter how you look at it

There is nothing to say that a crime cannot be someone's fetish. Rape can be a fetish. Heaven knows the porn industry thinks so.

Public sex is illegal in most places, but it is surely a fetish for some.

Snuff films exist. That means murder can be a fetish.

A fetish is a fetish because it excites someone sexually. It has no inherent virtue or morality or immorality. It's application to a man's preferences is independent of, but not beyond the reach of, the law.