"Date" walked away in the middle of dinner...

[bluerealm]

i want to say something real fast!

when i make it sound like you have problems.... I'm just being funny.

one of my regrets in life is not being able just to have wild sex with someone i care about.
thats it.

no marriage... no kids...


just 2 people being lovers.

but you have to pick the right person and make sure they are healthy mentally and physically.

now crazy will give you good sex but you could also end up killed at the same time.
with out getting into my life story i made bad choices in people and now i paying the price.
but in my defence i was never told how to pick a stable person.
and maybe i was crazy my self.

I'm not judging crazy but i would be careful of crazy.


but how i envy 2 people who are in-love and have no expectations on the relationship.


injoy life

[Rareboy]

Or, my friend should know me better. But I do think this guy has a bit of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing going on with him. He actually seemed sane before he got all creepy on me. It was like a flip switched and he got himself more and more excited.



I wanted to walk away but I didn't. I was about to, but he beat me to the punch.

It is not unusual for people with real behavioural pathologies to act like this...sometimes alcohol is a trigger to radical behavioural change. Or sometimes the switch just flips because they think that they have found a co-conspirator. I immediately thought of Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka as I was reading your story I suspect that the day will come when you'll be reading about him in the newspaper or seeing him on the news.

[ShiftyNJ]

There's something deeply disturbing that -- after reading a thread that involves roofies -- the suggested thread is "What's for dinner?"

[matty7]

wow what a date !!!! to be told that he likes to drug people on the first date is too shocking to laugh at - I would have left the minute he finished that sentence, I'd call that encounter a lucky escape - better luck with the next guy...plus tell your friend no more set up dates please - your good enough to find your own Dexter if needed lol

[meridannight]

i have to disagree. when a "fetish" crosses into "endangering" someone else, it is no longer okay. no matter the context. sex, in whatever form it is, needs to be consensual. the minute it is no longer consensual, you're bordering on psychosis and really need some mental help.

for example, if you know you're catching your "thrills" on raping individuals, identify that is not acceptable behavior and get some help! don't use your inability to control your urges as an excuse. it's your mind and body; find someway to control those urges.

as for that "porn industry" you mention, that is in the context of "fiction." it is not real life. some may contend that porn is "art." to each their own. regardless, it is in the context of a "controlled" environment, no matter how "documentary" it can get.

[MENTION=21866]Hardheaded1[/MENTION] is right on this. just because it's a 'crime' doesn't mean it can't or shouldn't exist as a fetish. there is no legal conflict inside the human mind. legal conflict is outside, in the close collective living arrangement of large groups of individuals who don't share any familial (or tribal) ties. morality is an external concept. some people adhere to it more than some others. may be difficult for someone who does adhere to some universal moral concepts to grasp that some people just do not care. they understand other people think it's wrong. but it is not wrong for them. otherwise they would not commit rape, murder, etc.

i am against murder, for example, but i will defend a person's right to their freedom of mind and commit whatever they want in their thoughts and get off on it if that's the case. if their mind extends to the outside world so as to hurt another individual, we have laws to deal with that situation.

and you can't really write rape porn off as 'fiction'. if you're against such thoughts, then you're against them. rape porn isn't some special case, just because it is not 100% real life. it's a simulation of reality, and the people who get off on it still get off on rape. either that's okay, or it's not okay. if you argue that it's not okay to get off on thinking about raping someone, then rape porn, by the same logic, is also not okay.

[dynamodean]

i have to disagree. when a "fetish" crosses into "endangering" someone else, it is no longer okay. no matter the context. sex, in whatever form it is, needs to be consensual. the minute it is no longer consensual, you're bordering on psychosis and really need some mental help.

for example, if you know you're catching your "thrills" on raping individuals, identify that is not acceptable behavior and get some help! don't use your inability to control your urges as an excuse. it's your mind and body; find someway to control those urges.

as for that "porn industry" you mention, that is in the context of "fiction." it is not real life. some may contend that porn is "art." to each their own. regardless, it is in the context of a "controlled" environment, no matter how "documentary" it can get.

then again, I've digressed from Derek's original post. back to the beginning.

In all due respect, I don't think Jason was trying to say that fetishes are legally or ethically okay. Fetishes get people off, and some of those fetishes are criminally offensive. That some of them are criminally offensive doesn't make them any less of a fetish.

And don't worry, you haven't digressed from the OP. I'm enjoying the discussions here.

[LutheranGuy]

I've never had someone just turn 180 and walk out on me.

Consider it a backhanded compliment. You are too cool for him!!!!!!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

"but in my defence i was never told how to pick a stable person."

After 6 relationships where they have al l failed with various levels of epic-tude, I can assure you that this is one thing most people do not figure out.

Keep on swinging that bat, sooner or later you will hit a home run.

[XMaverick]

What an asshole. Who in the hell admits to their date that they like spiking drinks? He has no right to be offended at all. What a...you know what, i'll stop there. I don't want to turn this post into a rant.