My Boyfriend Won't Let Me Have Gay Friends. Is this okay?

[ffffffff1000000]

Nothing I say is enough to make him "get over" it. It's like nothing I say matters a lot of the time

[Darius]

Why doesn't that tell you who are are dealing with?

[ffffffff1000000]

I try to reassure him but I'm just "naive".

[Rareboy]

Oh for fuck's sake.

Is this guy your boyfriend or your 'Master'?

In any event. Dump him. Now. Move on and find someone who is emotionally healthy.

[ffffffff1000000]

Nah he's not an a-hole or a control freak. He's just insecure.

[Darius]

Oh for fuck's sake.

Is this guy your boyfriend or your 'Master'?

In any event. Dump him. Now. Move on and find someone who is emotionally healthy.

I think we should save our breath now, don't you?

[Rareboy]

Wrong and wrong. He is and he is.

I've been in an LTR for 33 years. So you think I would have put up with someone's stupid jealous shit for over three decades?

Your BF needs to give his head a shake and grow the fuck up.

I give you only only another few months if he doesn't get professional counseling. Seriously.

[LJay]

Well, there is no reason you have to support his insecurity. A healthy relationship should have no problems with the partners having friends--gay, straight or whatever. If you can't work this out, then split. End of problem.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I can't tell you what to do, yeah? You have to make the decision for yourself on how you want your life to be, and how you want to live it.

For me? It would be a deal breaker. No one tells me who I can and can't be friends with. No one is allowed to cut me off from the outside word.

Gideon (my partner) is sometimes jealous, and -always- extremely possessive. He believes every man and woman is a potential threat to that possession, and it can cause him to become.... rabid if he perceives any kind of flirting, etc.

But, even he wouldn't go so far as to forbid me from having friendships. If he did? We'd be at war with each other about it, because *I* wouldn't allow him to take that right from me.

Fortunately, Gid trusts me, he just doesn't trust others. So even though I have friends, he knows I would never do anything with any of them. Maybe you need to find a way to build that trust with your partner.... either that or move on to someone who CAN develop that trust in you.

[AJ13]

I am fffffff1000000 piece of crap boy friend.

I am a control freak who needs therapy desperately apparently, even though none of you know the whole story or the first thing about me.

I know it's easy to talk that way about someone you don't know, but I am a real person (: And I have feelings. And I have reasons for why I liked the rule in the first place. And I wish my bf would defend me a little bit instead of reveling in all of the hatred some members are directing towards me, but hey I don't like to ask too much.


Things you guys should know;

-I've already accepted that the rule was making my bf unhappy, and I've already said that he can make new gay friends if he wants

-I've told him several times today via text "I can't tell you what to do" and "I want you to be happy"

-yes, I cheated on my last bf. And I told him about it and stopped doing it because I knew it was wrong. I've also been cheated on by him, and by my first bf. In both cases it was "just a friend" and yes it hurts me til this day and so I thought I could spare this relationship the same thing from happening, because I care about him more than anything and I dont want either of us to mess up.

-yes, I get jealous more easily than he does. But since we have started dating, he has received at least a dozen texts from ex-lovers (which, to his credit he has told me about and blocked), and several more people have flirted with him online. He has told me about it and acted appropriately. but it has left me feeling a little insecure, I admit.

Okay, that's everything I can think of off the top of my head.

I'm interested in knowing whether anyone else has these sorts of problems. everyone seems to be ok with their partners having gay friends. do you guys ever get jealous? do you have rules about how you act around your gay friends? I would very much like to know.