My Boyfriend Won't Let Me Have Gay Friends. Is this okay?

[ffffffff1000000]

Yep that my bf

[Lexington]

I'm interested in knowing whether anyone else has these sorts of problems. everyone seems to be ok with their partners having gay friends. do you guys ever get jealous? do you have rules about how you act around your gay friends? I would very much like to know.

Never been a problem with me because I never considered friends to be anything but. It helps that our social lives aren't so disparate that he doesn't know who my gay friends are. He's presumably going to be cooler with "Fred" than "Lex's gay friend that I've never met".

If the relationship is solid, you'll stick with it no matter how many gay friends you have.
If it isn't, you won't no matter how few you have.

Lex

[AJ13]

Yep that my bf

tell them I'm not a piece of crap and stick up for me a little bit or something? unless you think I am lol.

[Camfer]

Hi AJ and FF, welcome to GS.

FF, it's very healthy to have some good gay friends of your own. Just make sure they're good people. Introduce them to your BF.

AJ, It's okay to feel jealous sometimes, just recognize it and focus on the trust you have with your boyfriend. The stronger the trust, the weaker the jealousy. Trust your BF, meet his new gay friends, and when appropriate come to trust them too.

AJ, working on your own insecurities will prove useful. You've already abandoned the idea of controlling your BF's social life to prevent you from having to face these emotions. That's a great first step. Learn to recognize when you acting or speaking from your fears. If you find these issues are really affecting your relationship, then yes, some therapy could help you. No shame in that.

[Cuddly]

tell them I'm not a piece of crap and stick up for me a little bit or something? unless you think I am lol.

I don't think you're a piece of crap. If your fff744411156something boyfriend does as you request, he validates your claim that you could be mistaken for a piece of crap.

Insecurity is unattractive and it makes room for jealousy which destroys relationships. Just ease up a bit and learn to trust again.

I have all the gay friends I need right here on GS, and I can imagine that it would look suspicious if I went out looking for flesh and blood gay friends. So I do understand your concern, to some degree. I hope you manage to undramaify this episode and move on, as a couple.

[JackTX]

I'm struggling to spot the trust. Relationships are built on that.

[ShiftyNJ]

I stopped reading at "let".

You're an adult. Nobody "lets you" do anything. And if he thinks the fact that a friend IDs as straight vs. gay means it's impossible you'll cheat with him, he's the naive one.

[ffffffff1000000]

Hi AJ and FF, welcome to GS.

FF, it's very healthy to have some good gay friends of your own. Just make sure they're good people. Introduce them to your BF.

AJ, It's okay to feel jealous sometimes, just recognize it and focus on the trust you have with your boyfriend. The stronger the trust, the weaker the jealousy. Trust your BF, meet his new gay friends, and when appropriate come to trust them too.

AJ, working on your own insecurities will prove useful. You've already abandoned the idea of controlling your BF's social life to prevent you from having to face these emotions. That's a great first step. Learn to recognize when you acting or speaking from your fears. If you find these issues are really affecting your relationship, then yes, some therapy could help you. No shame in that.

Thank you so much you were very helpful

[ffffffff1000000]

I stopped reading at "let".

You're an adult. Nobody "lets you" do anything. And if he thinks the fact that a friend IDs as straight vs. gay means it's impossible you'll cheat with him, he's the naive one.

Ok I guess "let" wasn't the right word. He just didn't want me to. IDK if he would have preventn't me from doing it if I went against his request for me not to befriend gay people.

[ffffffff1000000]

He's not a piece of crap or an awful person so stop making him out to be that way please guys ^.^