I kind of have a girlfriend but I kind of like guys

[TheNewsie]

Hey, do I just wanted to say thanks for the help.
Needless to say, I did not go to the party.

Last weekend we ran into each other at another friend's house party and we were able to talk on a friendzone basis.

She is going to Europe with another guy she already hooked up with since then; which made me kind of sad.
So sad that I drank at the party (I never drink, so it didn't take much to knock me out for that night.)

The most curious part of this chapter: [and I admit it does sound like a work of fiction, but sometimes that's how life goes]:
I don't remember a thing about the party after about 9. I remember talking to her and then some other friends and when someone turned on the TV to watch some show that starts at 9. That's when they started pouring shots and my memory starts to fade.

Anyway, so on Friday morning (party was thu night) I woke up in someone else's house. I was really confused and embarrassed because I could not remember a thing and I had no idea whose place it was. While trying to fit the pieces together, and fight the worst headache of my life, I met my host who happened to be a new kid in town who just moved here last summer from Belgium.
Last night, he had come to pick up his friend and The party host asked him to drop my off at home. As they go to another high school, I didn't know them and consequently they didn't know where I lived - and according to everyone I talked to so far, I was unable to tell. So the Belgium kid was hospitable enough to let me crash in his guest room and he was courteous enough to not tell his parents, lend me his clothes (though he's a bit taller) and some aspirin in order to not look destroyed when heading home that day.
I felt terrible enough not to care too much that day but we decided to hang out when he came to pick up his clothes on Saturday.

Turns out he too was accepted at Oregon State so we'll be going to the same college soon. And we might even be roommates as we got along quite well.

Amazingly well that is. So why am I telling y'all this?
Well he's absolutely amazing! He's the kind of guy that is surrounded by girls all the time (he looks a bit like Jesse McCartney or Hunter Hayes). Of course I was mesmerized by this dude's appearance (not just his georgeousness, but he's a very interesting person even though I've met him only 8 days ago) so I dumped my wishful thinking right from the very second I met him. But there's something about him that might be even more special than meets the eye.

So here's the thing: he stayed at my place twice since and he spent the nights. (Our school has trimesters and long winter breaks, in case you're wondering). He's a very gentle person but somehow he always tried to make weird physical contact. That girl that started all of this kind of used similar excuses at first to touch me but it freaked me out. I'm not a big fan of being close to people but For the first time, being touched by him feels less awkward, almost right actually.

He would like want to watch a horror movie and then be all like "I have to hold on to something cuz horror flicks freak me out" and then he grabs my hand and just doesn't let go. It feels so great but I'm still not sure why he does it.

Also, we fell asleep like that and he never let go. And then the other time he would complain it's too cold (it was snowing outside) and get extra blankets and just wrap them around both of us real tight (like snuggled up for the sake of body heat type).

Or he would just go make a milk shake in my kitchen. One for both of us with two straws. She never did those things. He does. Weird.

My problem is, I really really really like him. He's just very daring and dashing. He kind of takes what he wants while also being gentle and polite. He's just too good to be true.

To be honest, superficially, he's the straightest guy you could ever meet. He's just perfect, right from a 1990s fairy tale movie. (I told him that and he was all humble about it).
But do you think he could be gay?
Do you think he would act like that if he were into girls?
It'd be the greatest thing if we could be together.

Sorry for the extensive length again.
Thanks again for the big help. Seems like chapter "girls" is closed for good for me and if this new chapter works out now I'll be one happy person!

PS:
It took 5 stitches, not 15 and my native language is English, honors in my writing AP, fyi; but try typing 200+ words in three minutes on a tiny old-fashioned phone "keyboard" (yes the one where you had 3-4 letters per button )

[MikeW]

...But do you think he could be gay?...

Yeah. He could be. Then again, he could be as closeted as you are. Or, he could be bi -- or straight -- or asexual. Or not into you *that* way. Or as much if not more of a big old bottom as you are.

Just ask him for heaven's sake before you get ALL emotionally invested in a teenage crush on the guy, K? Seriously, just ASK him.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Out of the frying pan, and into the fire comes to mind here......

Don't push things with him, just take it easy and go with the flow......

As for dumping the girl, every cloud has a silver lining!

I'm just glad you didn't come out to her, she sounds like a total control freak who would have made your life hell if she'd found out.

[TheNewsie]

What happened yesterday didn't make things any clearer. I thought I was just reading things but yesterday afternoon / evening was just crazy:

we went to the mall because he needed a new suit and in the store he asked me for my opinion on his two favorite suits and I just said both look great and I can't decide. He looked around as though to check if anyone was around, no one was, and pulled me into the changing room. HE said "you should get a closer look, then". I did not know what to do and he just undressed to his underwear next to me and tried on the other suit. I was perplexed and tried not to blush intensely but I did as I could see my face in the mirror. He asked me if I wanted to try them on as well and I just panicked ans said "no I need to get outa here". but I didn't. He changed back into his regular clothes and while doing so he asked me "do you think there's more to see? Actually I'm done with the suits" then he winked at me but I didn't want to stay in there and watch him get dressed so I slipped out of the cabin and waited for him at the checkout. There was this old lady who gave us weird looks when he too came out of the same cabin and we laughed all afternoon about that.
We did not buy a suit that day because he thought he might find some more at another store and we should get the same models to show off our "coolness" (whatever that means).

At night we wanted to go see a movie but we couldn't decide which one so he pushed me to the floor and started wrestling. We squirmed around a bit and we are about equal in strength and build but he's taller and cheated by calling my attention to something that "just flew by outside the window". Of course I looked and he pinned me to the floor saying "guess big Hero 6 it is" and then he just stared at me. His face was all red but it was because he was all worked up from wrestling and then he just collapsed on top of me and rested his head like at my shoulder or so. It was weird to me because this whole body contact thing is new to me and I felt buried under his body.
I heard him breathing and it was a really tranquil moment, though. I just lay there, feeling his body on mine and I was really overwhelmed.
After a while, he got up and announced he'S gonna take a shower being all cocky saying "we wouldn't want to disappoint those fan girls of yours" (I tease him frequently because he never realizes he's in the spotlight of girls all the time)

We did go to see Big Hero 6 (great movie by the way) that night and at some point he leaned in to me to tell me something and it was something really random but he got so close, really close I could feel his breath on my cheek and ear and he just paused awkwardly in the middle of his sentences so it took forever to get his message across. Actually he just told me some fact about the founding of Disney CGI animation but I still blushed and he said "dude we gotta do something about your blush. You turn red an awful lot lately". I just laughed it off and we had one of those moments where we would just crack up for no real reason and then someone behind us complained because we were so loud.

He spent the night at my place but it was all normal after that.

I didn't really want to ask him directly just yet as I just can't tell if he likes girls or not.
Do you think I should try play along with his games or is it too risky?

[ck86]

You can ask him....or take a big risk and kiss him??????????????

[TwisttheLeaf]

I can't really tell you what to do here but that moment after the wrestling and before he collapsed on you? There's a damned good chance if it were me in your shoes, that I would have kissed him.

That's just me, though. Good luck man.

[ThirdEyeGaze]

i don't think a straight guy would rest his head on your chest after wrestling even if he was super tired he could just lay on the ground.
depending on social restriction in Belgium, you should ask him if there's anyone hes into

[Camfer]

What happened yesterday didn't make things any clearer.

Oh, it's pretty clear to me what *he* wants from your description. But what's not clear is what you want. Tell us that.

[Rareboy]

I still think that all of this is more about writing a story than anything else, but here goes:

1. Don't drink to the point of blackout. It isn't cute.

2. Obviously you weren't that critical to your 'girlfriend's' future if she moved on in a week. We're glad though that she's out of the story arc because she really did seem like she was a neurotic head-case.

3. Where does this guy sleep when he stays over? If he's staying over, why was it that the first time he pranced around in his underwear for you was in a change cubicle?

4. An honours English student should know it it 'Belgian', not 'Belgium' when used as an adjective. There are a number of other structural errors as well that need attention.

5. Anyone could tell this guy is not straight. Why is it not clear to you? You certainly write him as a closet homo.

6. Have you told him that you are a closet homo? If you want to be coy, the route you want to take is to ask him if he has ever thought of being bi....and then tell him that he's the kind of guy that you could see other guys going bi for or some thing like that. Or ask him if he wants to watch a porno when he's staying over and show him a bi threesome. Whatever gets his cock in your mouth.

7. Don't talk in movies. It is annoying.

8. Don't play games with him. What do you actually have to lose by being honest with him? Games are for 14 year old kids and/or sociopaths.

[TheNewsie]

Thank you so much for all the great advice.

I think Imcan handle it on my own from here. Let's just say it took a turn for the better and I am very happy with the results.

[and his behavior turned out to be more than merely "European"]
Thanks for helping me come up with the courage to figure out what I really want and pursue it rather than just being a passive character in my own life.

Thanks so much and all the best to you too.
Sincerely,
A guy in a very happy relationship