Advice needed

[Anonymous]

This is not exactly a confession but it's the only thread where I can post anonymously.

I use Bender, similar to Grindr, and just recently received a message from it turned out, the son of one of my neighbours. I have never spoken to him because not only is he not my type but also because I never realised he was gay. Initially I replied before I realised who he was but then he didn't. Now, several weeks later he is hitting on me again. I guess he's about 30 (younger than I), prematurely bald and somewhat hirsute. I'm really not interested, especially as he's a neighbour, but don't know how to proceed. Fortunately I haven't yet bumped in to him in the neighbourhood and I don't know how ro react if he tries to talk to me. Any advice?

[MikeW]

And what is wrong with, "Sorry, not interested." ?

[jimcrackcorn]

Personally, I wouldn't miss an opportunity to make new friends, especially if he is gay.

It's easier to explain that your only looking for friendship when meeting someone from a hook-up site that your not interested in sexually... Who knows, he may become the friend who introduces you to Mr. Right!!

Best Wishes,
Jim

[Anonymous]

Personally, I wouldn't miss an opportunity to make new friends, especially if he is gay.

It's easier to explain that your only looking for friendship when meeting someone from a hook-up site that your not interested in sexually... Who knows, he may become the friend who introduces you to Mr. Right!!

Best Wishes,
Jim

Thanks Jim but not only is he not my type but from the environment that he lives in I don't believe that we would have anything in common

And Mike, yes, that would be one thing to say. The most direct way.

[jimcrackcorn]

Thanks Jim but not only is he not my type but from the environment that he lives in I don't believe that we would have anything in common

I see your point. It would be advantageous to avoid friendship with a crack-whore or someone who would only drag you down into the gutter where they seem hellbent on staying.

A nice person might feel uneasy about telling someone to get lost. It's gets easier with age - cause I seem to have no problem with it nowadays (smile)

Be honest with him and tell him your not interested. If he persist - tell him in a more explicit (and less tactful way) to get lost....

[matty7]

play the simple but polite age card !! say you prefer men your own age group, he cant be offended by that im sure

[edhued]

Since you don't "think" you have anything in common, then just go simple and say you're not interested, or if you really want to go deep with it explain why. I don't think he will be offended either way, if he does then that's on him.

[Wolfpack]

Just be open and honest with him about how you feel, do not play games or leave him dangling and wondering.

[TwisttheLeaf]

It's time to be direct and say "No thank you" and move on, let him move on as well.

The more you hedge, etc? The more you lead him on into thinking there's a possibility there.

[CellarDweller]

twisttheleaf is right, be direct.