Stephen Fry's engagement: what's wrong with age-gap relationships?

[edhued]

I think there is a difference between judging someone's relationship because of an age difference and just not understanding how they work. Again, I don't really care but it's not for me.

Judging is actually to form a bias and personal opinion about something whether you understand them (prejudge) or not. So in Fry's case, people actually tearing them apart for literally no logical reason. That's why I said I don't get it with people doing that. In your case it's not judging, it's a personal preference.

[meridannight]

not my relationship. i don't care.

[MikeW]

Judging is actually to form a bias and personal opinion about something whether you understand them (prejudge) or not. So in Fry's case, people actually tearing them apart for literally no logical reason. That's why I said I don't get it with people doing that. In your case it's not judging, it's a personal preference.

There's a whole huge sociological thing going on here…

It has to do with the way societies ENFORCE certain behavior rules. Shaming is a very powerful social force (as all of us who are gay should understand first hand).

Of course, as [MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION] is saying, it really isn't anyone else's business. BUT… in contemporary society "celebrities" are fair game. Not only that, their images SELL products -- through attracting attention and thus giving eyeball time to advertisers. SO… anytime anyone says or does anything that is "out of the ordinary"… media swings its attention to them, and people FLOCK to give their fucking opinions about it.

JUST AS WE ARE HERE, to be fair.

Everyone ought to spend way more time minding their own fucking business… NOT that I ever expect THAT to happen!

[MakeDigitalLove]

It annoys me when people comment on other peoples relationships in general. Like you have a friend who see's 2 people together and they'll say one of them is too good for the other. Then when you get down to it, all that had to do with is looks and their outside perception.

People think they know people more than they actually do, they think they know about other peoples relationships more than they actually do. When in reality they know jack shit and are only know about what they see. Not what happens behind closed doors, not what happens when they're intimate and out of public view.

The naysayers are only basing this off of their own perception of what relationships should be like and the kind of people they think are good looking. Nothing more. Stephen Fry and Elliott Spencer are good for each other no matter what other people say if they like and love each other. That is literally all that matters.

People have their opinions why older people and younger people shouldn't date. ie They're at different points in their lives, when in reality I could find someone who is the same age as me and in an area of their life they are at a different point then I am. I have a friend who is only a couple years older than his g/f, career wise she is way ahead of him. Does that mean they shouldn't be together? No.

My boyfriend and I are 30 years apart and when September rolls around that will be 10 years together. Age is only an issue if you make it an issue, as with many other problems that can occur in a relationship. If 2 people get along and generally like each other, no matter age, race, ethnicity, religious difference, they can make it work if they both want it to work. I know it is not as simple as saying it, but I personally find it to be true.

[LJay]

Seems to me that the real item of notice here is major media talking about two men being engaged. By commenting only on the age difference, they are shedding an at least neutral light on the issue of gay marriage. Doesn't anyone else see this as noteworthy? Don't you think it interesting that the emphasis is the same as if Lola Kaboomtitz, age 45, were marrying a 19-year-old guy?

[MakeDigitalLove]

Seems to me that the real item of notice here is major media talking about two men being engaged. By commenting only on the age difference, they are shedding an at least neutral light on the issue of gay marriage. Doesn't anyone else see this as noteworthy? Don't you think it interesting that the emphasis is the same as if Lola Kaboomtitz, age 45, were marrying a 19-year-old guy?

I can agree with you that it is shedding neutral light, but at the same time it is shedding negative light on older/younger relationships. One or Two things are always generally played around with here, is that the older man in the relationship is being predatory to the young man or the younger man is a gold digger.

[Rareboy]

^ I agree.....it is great that the media can now blather on about two guys getting married without that being the main topic....but it does tease out this ingrained and often inexplicable bias against younger-older pairings...this would also happen with old rich women marrying a guy 30 years their junior...but as we know...if you are a hetero man... generally marrying a woman 30 years your junior just gets you high fives in the gym locker room.

The other thing that I can't figure out is why any one of us would give a shit about whether the younger person is gold digger or not. It isn't like they are doing us out of a share of the wealth when their partner dies. If you can't take it with you and you haven't made a will...then too fucking bad. And if the older person has...and they have decided to hand it all over to their partner instead of making it rain for undeserving relatives or favourite charities....well...too fucking bad.

[BrianNorth]

If he's happy then who cares? It drives me crazy when people pass judgment. Just as someone has the right to have 'typical' desires of someone near their age etc someone also has the right to have a different angle on it. It's also not like the dude is 18. He's the same age as me and if I can't make life decisions wisely now then I'll never be able to.

[JackTX]

Criticizing this is about on the level of two neighbors gossiping about the unkempt lawn of the guy across the street because he was away for a week. In short: get a life.

It can be so hard to find someone you really click with in this life. If they're happy, I'm happy for them.

[LJay]

Not much to sell newspapers in noting the ordinary, is there?