New year's motivation

[Anonymous]

I'm not think this is a confession mile:

So I met this guy on this forum before New Year Eve just 2 days. We chat in facebook so much in 7 days. We talk about many things, about my life, about his love. He's the one who encourage me to learn French and through his life I see a new me.

But after that 7 days, he block me on face and not answer any message i sent to him. First of all, I was confuse and fear, because all my life I have met this situation like countless time. And then I was mad at myself, I think of suck at making connection with others.

And after 3 days he didn't contact me, I have some serious thought on my head. He used to tell me that this life is a circle, and I have to move on if I can't talk to him anymore ( I think he has plan it ). And now I have understood what I want. I want to move on my life and become a better person. Even though he may not care about me anymore but I alway consider him my "idol". He has given me new hope for my life.

And that's my story on new year.

[East]

As you say...it is a new year and each day is a new chance to move in whatever direction you wish....

So let me redirect you to this

because all my life I have met this situation like countless time.

In order to move in a different direction...you should figure out why the same thing keeps happening as you are the common denominator....

[Anonymous]

In order to move in a different direction...you should figure out why the same thing keeps happening as you are the common denominator....

Thank you East. I know why that thing happen to me forever. When I like someone, a new fiend or worst, a guy I interested in, I become too obsess and tend to become annoying. I will message them everyday and when they not answer I will sorry like I was doing something very bad, and I do it repeatedly. I've tried to hold it but I just can't. So i guess that the main problem. :frown:

[East]

Thank you East. I know why that thing happen to me forever. When I like someone, a new fiend or worst, a guy I interested in, I become too obsess and tend to become annoying. I will message them everyday and when they not answer I will sorry like I was doing something very bad, and I do it repeatedly. I've tried to hold it but I just can't. So i guess that the main problem. :frown:

Well..that is great news! If you have identified the problem...you have every chance of changing that behavior....and you CAN do that.

'Tis true that behavior will chase away a lot of men. Maybe read/research a bit about that kind of behavior to get some insight into changing it.....

I don't know if this will help at all.,..or if you can identify with this...but you gotta start somewhere and the time you are taking to think about this guy you would be better spent on you

http://quirkyalone.net/index.php/book/sa...obsession/

Good luck on your journey

[Anonymous]

Well..that is great news! If you have identified the problem...you have every chance of changing that behavior....and you CAN do that.

'Tis true that behavior will chase away a lot of men. Maybe read/research a bit about that kind of behavior to get some insight into changing it.....

I don't know if this will help at all.,..or if you can identify with this...but you gotta start somewhere and the time you are taking to think about this guy you would be better spent on you

http://quirkyalone.net/index.php/book/sa...obsession/

Good luck on your journey

Thanks for your help East. But I don't have boyfriend and that behavior have chased all my friend away from me so...... I guess no social life and boyfriend until i finish 4 years of university.

[SHOman93]

Being obsessive and caring are to different things. In certain circumstances, they share a paper-thin line. Now, when it comes to texting (or messaging, whatver, lol) I know a thing or two, being an 18 year old. If someone texts me everyday about random crap, I'd be like oh jeeeeezzzzzz.....clingy. But if someone texts me maybe every other day ,or even some consecutive days, I'd think oh he cares enough to continue our conversation on from 2 days ago <3

And I use to hate when I text someone and don't get something back, within a couple minutes. But, I've come to the conclusion that other people have lives other than their phones.

So, just text someone, and while your waiting for a response do some other things. Clean, watch tv, read a book, whatever. The worrying for a response will worry you to death.

[Rareboy]

hmmmmm.

All I can tell you is that if 'life is a circle' it would be impossible to actually move on without always arriving back at the same place.....so to me...this guy gave one of the stupidest pieces of armchair philosophy that I've read this year (the year is still young though).

Having a text buddy and having a boyfriend are different things entirely though. Too many people are getting confused about this.

You can talk to someone for 7 days and learn some things about them...but if distance is too great...all you still are left with is a pen-pal. And if you become too intense in the amount of time you are demanding from someone on line, they are quite naturally going to get tired of the interaction in a short time.

so.

Shut off your computer. Go outdoors. Meet real guys. Spend some real time with them. don't hunt them like prey or immediately obsess over them being your boyfriend. If the connection is there...have fun together, including sex...and enjoy the relationship for what it is as long as it lasts...whether it is for a few hours or the a few months or longer.

It worries me that you consider someone you corresponded with as your idol. Stop it. To begin with, don't make anyone your idol. Realize that you are a functional adult with your own capabilities and strengths and weaknesses and make yourself the person you would most like to be like.