playing hard to get...

[verysimple]

We were awesome, when we met at the new year’s party… and now, after we swapped numbers… we are (or me for that matter) are starting to have these silly complications like, who messages who first… who makes the effort to keep it going and who replies with questions… etc.
Now, it is either that I am overthinking this or he is playing hard to get because eventually I am the one who makes the move first, the one who messages him first and makes the effort to keep the convo going and even though he does get back to me but I don’t see that he makes an effort or asks questions about me… and he always is the one who ends the conversation first. Now we did talk about this once and he told me that he is “deliberately” avoiding to ask me questions so that we can have “material” for inperson discussion.. which is a little weird cuz if we have a connection then we would talk about anything as long as we both are comfortable with each other

Idk guys, what do you think? Is he really playing hard to get or am I just overthinking it??

[shirogane]

I kind of understand what he think. You think that he should keep talking as long as both of you feel comfortable. But like he said, when you out of "material" then every conversation sometimes become nonsense and not really have connection in that conver.

If he like you then he will never play hard to get so you maybe overthinking ( like me in this point ). Maybe you are pushing things a little so he feel he needn't to act so intense.

Anyway, good luck to you mate.

[Darius]

I think your friend is right. Turn off your phone and go spend time with him in person. He's telling you that's what he wants, so why are you putting so much time into texting?
I think too many people can't communicate unless they are texting. I hope you aren't one of them, verysimple.

[MikeW]

I swear, texting is the bane of gay romance. It is 'sort of' fine *once you've established a relationship IRL* -- but to use it to get to know one another is a recipe for disaster.

I agree with [MENTION=21957]Darius[/MENTION] . Get together with the guy ASAP and as often as possible. Txting should be limited to just "catching up," and occasional "cuteisims" not dialogue.

[meridannight]

we are (or me for that matter) are starting to have these silly complications like, who messages who first… who makes the effort to keep it going and who replies with questions… etc.

Now we did talk about this once and he told me that he is “deliberately” avoiding to ask me questions so that we can have “material” for inperson discussion.. which is a little weird cuz if we have a connection then we would talk about anything as long as we both are comfortable with each other

no, messaging or writing stuff on the internet is completely different from in-person communication. the former is a dry and a lifeless substitute to be tolerated when other options aren't available. i completely understand why he doesn't want to talk about important things over a text message/chat. i would reserve it for face-to-face talks as well.

i can't stand texting. in person meetings or, phone calls at the very least, if actual meeting isn't possible. but texting, no.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I kind of object to the whole vein of non-in person communication being considered dry and lifeless. Gideon and I spend a great deal of our time texting and instant messaging. Yes, we are in a long distance relationship with a few thousand miles between us... But our relationship and communication is anything but dry and lifeless.

Would in person be better? Of course. But, that doesn't rule out the bonding and communication, emotions and sharing that can be done over modern technology. I think this may depend on the people involved, though, and if they are -able- to emotionally connect over online medium. Some just can't, from what I've seen.

That said? You DO have your man in reach, so why not take advantage of that and spend some more in person time with him?

[East]

I have texting disabled...and I communicate ineffectively when I write because I can't use my body language or eye contact...I love eye contact when I speak with someone...

So I understand him wanting to talk to you in person.

[LJay]

There is an art to conversing by phone, text or in writing. some people do it well and others avoid it. My roommate is terrible on the phone. It is hard to pull information out of him if I call from the grocery store to ask what he wants, for example. It is very hard to know whether he is listening or has hung up. I find texting even more awkward than emailing back and forth. Try to talk to your friend in person. he seems to be asking for that. What could be better?

[jimcrackcorn]

It's difficult enough trying to figure out what your boyfriend is feeling when he is right in front of you. It is even harder to discern feelings via text messages.

Your relationship is in the beginning stages, so you need to keep his attention by romancing him. Send flowers (if he's the type that would like flowers) and simple gifts. Take him out to dinner, go on trips together to different places in town or a pleasant ride in the country side. Take a camera along so you can take pictures and share them with each other. The more memories you make together - the closer you will become.

As for him not initiating the conversations or keeping the convo going,, and constantly being the one who ends the conversations via messages,,,,, well,,, that's not an accurate barometer to gauge how your relationship is going with him.

If you really like him,, then go after him full speed and turn up the romance. Start taking him on dates and romantic excursions as often as possible.

Don't let your fingers do all the talking. Those lips need to do their magic also...

Sincerely,
Jim

[Rareboy]

Take your text device and put it on the floor.

Now stamp on it with your heel.

Now get a simple phone, call him and make a date to actually see one another. Talk until dawn and fuck like rabbits. that is the way to get to know someone. I agree with the other guy. Having to put everything into txt mssgs wld piss me off.

These texting issues will be the undoing of many relationships.