Relationship Advice

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm sorry. But this fella most likely has more issues and problems than you fully realize.

His liking to lift weights and his commenting on your belly and other things tells me he has self esteem issues and he is using you are a reflection of himself.

"I have repeatedly asked Chris to stop sharing these demeaning comments but he can't help himself."

If he can't help himself then he needs to locate someone who can help him break this bad behavior.

I suspect that this is far deeper than merely a 'bad behavior'. He likes lifting and he compares you to him and Gods only know what other patterns of behavior he does - but the basement of the issue is he has issues, and seems like serious issues, with his own self esteem and he is lashing out at you.

He needs a therapist. Unlike everyone else I'm not suggesting couple's counseling. This is HIS issue that he is inflicting on you. He gets that worked on he will stop inflicting it on you.

"To summarize my post, Chris and I are in love with each other and are generally very happy. His frequent unfiltered comments often spark an emotional or frustrated response from me that in turn cause me to express my frustration. This has caused his level of attraction to depreciate even further leading to a limited sex life."

Um no.

His abusive comments are causing a lot of damage. he is being verbally and emotionally abusive to you. This isn't love, this is codependency, this is abuser and victim enabling type behavior.

Your gut telling you to run away, to find someone else, to go away - well that is what you really need to do.

I'm willing to bet that there is a bit more verbal and emotional abuse that you just are not seeing, and I suspect controlling behaviors as well. I'm willing to also bet that over the course of several months these things have slowly grown worse and worse as time progresses.

I'm willing to place odds that in the months ahead there is going to be more conflict and his abuse is just going to escalate.

If he is not attracted to you anymore, then why is he keeping you around? Financial gain? Or is he getting his jollies picking on you and bullying you?

What you need to do is sit down and really look at the big picture here. Ask yourself questions like 'Why does he want me around if he finds me this unattractive?' and like 'What does he get from our relationship?'

I also suggest you expand your examination of other things he says about other stuff you do and about you. If you are finding that more and more of the things you do he thinks you are not doing right, then you have a much bigger problem on your hands.

[Beaux]

^^^^ What Bowyn said!
He knows of which he speaks, you would do well to heed his advice...
~Beaux

[BrianNorth]

The relationship sound abusive. I was treated in a similar way in my very first relationship and it should have been my first clue that it needed to end. In a loving relationship there is a way to communicate issues. Telling the person you're attraction to them is slipping is ridiculous. If concerned about weight then try and support the person and encourage a healthier lifestyle, offer to go with them on runs or whatever. Calling them unattractive and saying you've gained weight isn't going to help anyone.

I'd agree with most comments. There needs to be some counselling so he can learn how to communicate to someone he loves. My story ended with my ex spending years in therapy for his issues and he still goes as far as I know.