Masturbation problems

[JackTX]

JackBone, you crack me up!

Whew. Sometimes I'm afraid I only crack myself up

[himself]

really? ''make them work their wage''? then don't give them any information. just show up and let them run all the possible tests and maybe just guess the answers to the questions they surely have.

you're acting like a 7-year-old who refuses to open his mouth at a dentist. your teeth are gonna rot out of your mouth if you treat your dentist that way, but small price to pay for not being embarrassed for those teeth, right?

jesus what a prude.

Crap, I'll have to go to the dentist, soon, too.

I will try to pleasure myself - I can do it in my sleep, but it doesn't come naturally when I'm awake. I wasn't even particularly sure how to do it properly. I don't know why. I assume it just comes naturally to people - it's not something they teach you at school.

I have had fantasies that have made my heart race, but I'm having difficulty really getting into it right now. Sexually, I'm not sure I'm 100%. I kind of hope there is just something psychologically wrong with me that can be put right, e.g. thought processes that can be corrected. If there's nothing wrong with me, physically or mentally, then I suppose that's good, but then I'd probably just have to accept that I am sexually challenged and that there's nothing I can do about it. I would prefer if there were something wrong with me that could be put right with non-intrusive treatment. I think I will go to the doctor if there's no improvement.

[LJay]

Thereis no way to do it properly or improperly. There is no rule book to this. It simply sounds as though you have been very strictly and primly brought up and that you need to relax. Going to a doctor and arranging to get some behavioral/cognitive therapy is perfectly reasonable. It is most likely that those who brought you up did so with all good intentions but those intentions may well clash with the outside world. You can work through these things with a therapist.

In the meantime, relax. Give yourself time. Learn to be yourself and not someone else's idea of you.

[JVelagarraiPhD]

I know this is kind of weird, so I don't expect people to have much to say on the matter. I play with myself, but it's difficult to get real pleasure. I might get a few damp spots on my boxers, but that's it. However, occasionally, I'll wake up at the climax of a wet dream, finding myself masturbating - my first thought is "crap" because there's a huge mess coming, but it is extremely pleasurable. I have never had an experience like it when I'm fully awake. This would probably be understandable if I were 11 years old, but I'm actually 21. It seems that I haven't sexually matured yet (nor have I mentally matured, but that's neither here nor there). I'm not sure exactly what I'm asking. Maybe I'll start with this: does my story resonate with any of you?

I am 32, and experience the same- I will wake up in the middle of the night in the middle of orgasm and ejaculation and have found that I was erect while I was asleep and humping my hand or the bed. It does make a very big mess, but think of it this way- you describe it as so pleasurable, that is a great thing. Experiencing pleasurable orgasms alone, or even at all is sometimes difficult as you've explained.

It's taken me years, even as a sex therapist, to get over the fear of sleeping (sleeping not sex) in the same bed with someone else as that may happen. Of course, I still pick and choose who I would bunk with, but I'll do it now. For example, I went on a business trip with a college. When we arrived in the town of our destination the hotel told us that our reservation was never confirmed by our company, so it was cancelled. We ended up having to stay in a very shitty, hotel with only one double bed. I finally fell asleep after having so much anxiety of sleeping in the same bed with this (straight) man and my little problem. Then I woke up in the middle of the night in the middle of orgasm/ejaculation face to face with him as I ejaculated all over his leg, hand, and stomach. I was terrified. After I opened up and explained my problem he was really cool about it.

We all have sexual problems, sometimes its just a matter of figuring out how to live a fulfilled life with them instead of constantly worrying about how to stop the impossible.

[himself]

I am 32, and experience the same- I will wake up in the middle of the night in the middle of orgasm and ejaculation and have found that I was erect while I was asleep and humping my hand or the bed. It does make a very big mess, but think of it this way- you describe it as so pleasurable, that is a great thing. Experiencing pleasurable orgasms alone, or even at all is sometimes difficult as you've explained.

It's taken me years, even as a sex therapist, to get over the fear of sleeping (sleeping not sex) in the same bed with someone else as that may happen. Of course, I still pick and choose who I would bunk with, but I'll do it now. For example, I went on a business trip with a college. When we arrived in the town of our destination the hotel told us that our reservation was never confirmed by our company, so it was cancelled. We ended up having to stay in a very shitty, hotel with only one double bed. I finally fell asleep after having so much anxiety of sleeping in the same bed with this (straight) man and my little problem. Then I woke up in the middle of the night in the middle of orgasm/ejaculation face to face with him as I ejaculated all over his leg, hand, and stomach. I was terrified. After I opened up and explained my problem he was really cool about it.

We all have sexual problems, sometimes its just a matter of figuring out how to live a fulfilled life with them instead of constantly worrying about how to stop the impossible.

I only saw this there now. That is an interesting point. I am a bit of a loner so I can't see myself getting into a situation like that, but if things change, which I hope they do, I don't want to come all over someone's sofa/bed.

Update: I never went to the doctor. I was drinking maybe a bit too much and I was ashamed of the state of my health, so I wanted to sort myself out first. However, I am pleased to say that I successfully brought myself to a climax about half an hour ago. I didn't think that would happen. I am considering going to the doctor anyway (I'm not sure what I'd say. I don't think I'm autistic. I'm not sure if there is any way to change this, but I can't make friends. I don't think I developed/matured very well.

[ShiftyNJ]

No. I know it must be annoying to see people post on here instead of going to a doctor. I have thought about it, but knowing what to say is the difficult part. Also, I'll have to register with another doctor - at home, things aren't so private. I know the doctor can't say anything to anyone, but I still wouldn't say anything so personal to them. Registering with a doctor who doesn't know me is probably my best option.

Maybe this is the problem. Maybe when you're awake and conscious of the fact that someone might discover what you're doing, you can't relax and really give yourself into the experience?

For the Seinfeld fans

[Barefoot]

Here's my opinion based on all I've read here; this is my gut feeling: I think you may have been raised to believe sex was "wrong" or "bad" in some way. I don't believe a guy gets this embarrassed and uptight about it all on his own. If you couldn't crap for a week and had pain from that, would you see a doctor? I think likely. Sex, the penis and issues involving them are just as much bodily functions as a bowel movement is and are needed to be considered healthy; physically, emotionally and mentally. Doctors are meant to and intend and want to treat the whole body, not just some parts of it. Sexual dysfunction is a health issue as much as any other malady is and any doctor will see it as such. The way I see it you seem to have a hangup about sex, and being afraid to talk to a doctor about it is to me an indication of that hangup. Now I was told as a child that it was "bad" too (prudish Catholics) but the first time I learned (on my own and at an unusually early age) to masturbate and cum and how good it felt, I was off and running. Something that felt that good just couldn't be bad; I was lied to I figured. So all attempts to raise me as a prude failed. I'm the opposite of shy and prudish about such things; my doctor is probably shocked at the things I say and the way I say them but I have no qualms about it and neither does my doctor. So I suspect yours won't either. But I wonder about why you think you'll need to see a different doctor for this. Something about the way you put that makes me wonder if someone might be wanting to know things about you that aren't any of their business and I don't mean medical staff; perhaps just the way I read it. Masturbation is normal and a natural and healthy thing to do. Sexual repression is very unhealthy.

[Pyromancer]

Here's my opinion based on all I've read here; this is my gut feeling: I think you may have been raised to believe sex was "wrong" or "bad" in some way. I don't believe a guy gets this embarrassed and uptight about it all on his own. If you couldn't crap for a week and had pain from that, would you see a doctor? I think likely. Sex, the penis and issues involving them are just as much bodily functions as a bowel movement is and are needed to be considered healthy; physically, emotionally and mentally. Doctors are meant to and intend and want to treat the whole body, not just some parts of it. Sexual dysfunction is a health issue as much as any other malady is and any doctor will see it as such. The way I see it you seem to have a hangup about sex, and being afraid to talk to a doctor about it is to me an indication of that hangup. Now I was told as a child that it was "bad" too (prudish Catholics) but the first time I learned (on my own and at an unusually early age) to masturbate and cum and how good it felt, I was off and running. Something that felt that good just couldn't be bad; I was lied to I figured. So all attempts to raise me as a prude failed. I'm the opposite of shy and prudish about such things; my doctor is probably shocked at the things I say and the way I say them but I have no qualms about it and neither does my doctor. So I suspect yours won't either. But I wonder about why you think you'll need to see a different doctor for this. Something about the way you put that makes me wonder if someone might be wanting to know things about you that aren't any of their business and I don't mean medical staff; perhaps just the way I read it. Masturbation is normal and a natural and healthy thing to do. Sexual repression is very unhealthy.

Very good point here. It always puzzles me that so many people are afraid to talk to their doctor about what they consider embarrassing conditions...doctors have heard it all and are more interested in healing you than judging you.

I agree that many people are made to feel bad and ashamed about sex in their childhood--- talking these issues over with a trained professional like a doctor can actually be quite liberating...

[himself]

When I was growing up, I felt more like being gay was something to be embarrassed about rather than something that was 'wrong'. Like it was a joke. I don't know if I repressed feelings, though. I get the impression that people can't help but wank. I have always played with myself, but it didn't go very far. I'd get the 'pre-cum' but I got no further than that. I didn't know how to do it. I willingly played with myself but getting to a climax just didn't come naturally to me. Maybe I'm just stupid re: sex. I climaxed again today. I was on the bus afterwards and started getting really impatient, so when I got off, I tried again. I didn't get very far then, but I'll try again later. It feels like trying to start an old car. You just need to keep at the ignition until it goes. I mustn't have been trying hard enough.

[bolson14]

So what you are saying is that you only ejaculate a small amount when you masturbate while awake, but much more when you wake up during a wet dream?

That would be

"Doctor, I only ejaculate a small amount when I masturbate while awake, but much more when I wake up during a wet dream. Is something wrong?"

Just ask to be registered with a doctor who is not an old style Catholic female. [B]Young Jewish guy would be best, especially if his name is Portnoy.[/B]

what does that mean? Sorry, I am just new to the gay scene.