Yes, I love myself. Yes, I accept myself the way I am. Yet when it comes to meeting new guys for a hookup... I become rather insecure about my body traits. The fact that I am hairy intimidates me from going after the dude, But when I know that body hair is his fetish I automatically become comfortable with him just like I am with myself and feel better about myself. It's like as if I feel like I should be wired in a certain way so that he likes me like I do... and it isn't that certain one body trait... that applies to everything else he likes and doesn't like...
I know this sounds super pathetic, I just wanted to be open about what's going on inside of me... and I wanted to hear your opinion about it. What do you call this?... an issue? How do I get over it? Since I usually go after guys in the wrong area (The ones who aren't into hairy as a fetish)
feel free to share your stories if you're in the same boat as well..
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Hi. Of course, without a pic, we really can't know how hairy you are. LOL. Points for trying? 
I indeed love guys to have body hair, but I love so many things about so many guys, I'm not really ready to call it a fetish.
Nothing you said sounds pathetic.
It is natural to analyze why we like the guys we like, and why guys who like us do.
Your question is not entirely clear, but I think one aspect of your self-esteem issue is that you need to see yourself less critically. I deal with this all the time, as I like myself just fine, but I don't see anything that would attract another gay man. But, in your case, you're young, have a handsome face, bright eyes, good haircut, stunning smile, honest posts, and a friendly nature. What's not to love?
You're young. Give yourself time to find guys. Remember how uncommon gay men are statistically, and compound that with the fact that you live in a region of the world that supresses gay men, so you have an even harder time finding others.
Keep these conversations going, and keep sharing your thoughts honestly, but don't worry too much. You have lots of time, and will just have to keep looking.
Oh, and don't you dare shave that hair off.
•
Hardheaded1 Wrote:Hi. Of course, without a pic, we really can't know how hairy you are. LOL. Points for trying?
I indeed love guys to have body hair, but I love so many things about so many guys, I'm not really ready to call it a fetish.
Nothing you said sounds pathetic.
It is natural to analyze why we like the guys we like, and why guys who like us do.
Your question is not entirely clear, but I think one aspect of your self-esteem issue is that you need to see yourself less critically. I deal with this all the time, as I like myself just fine, but I don't see anything that would attract another gay man. But, in your case, you're young, have a handsome face, bright eyes, good haircut, stunning smile, honest posts, and a friendly nature. What's not to love?
You're young. Give yourself time to find guys. Remember how uncommon gay men are statistically, and compound that with the fact that you live in a region of the world that supresses gay men, so you have an even harder time finding others.
Keep these conversations going, and keep sharing your thoughts honestly, but don't worry too much. You have lots of time, and will just have to keep looking.
Oh, and don't you dare shave that hair off.
Hahaha, Nope. I am going to let my manly physique grow naturally in its own way.. lol thank you though!!
•
The thing about "our issues" is that they are ours. They are a bigger deal to us than anyone else.
It seems like lots of guys like smooth, twink types. So what? Don't take that as a rejection of you.
•
Posts: 2,698
Threads: 34
Joined: May 2014
Reputation:
0
Starsign:  Capricorn
Mood: None
All I can say is [MENTION=21000]verysimple[/MENTION] , I agree with [MENTION=21866]Hardheaded1[/MENTION] … so far as I can tell from your picture and the way you post, you're one hot, handsome, sexy, adorable, guy. I don't understand the problem. Are you saying that you've been rejected by some hookup opportunities because you're too hairy? Or is this just something you're afraid will happen? In any case, I can assure you lots of guys are into body hair -- especially on a cutie like yourself!
.
•
We all want to be thought of as exceptionally hot. But of course, most of us aren't. Not to everybody, certainly, and usually not even to the majority of the population. We're just people, with good and bad points.
But when I go to bed with somebody, I'm not expecting perfection. I'm not even expecting somebody "hot" (as in "a body type that always gets me hard, and that I jerk off thinking about"). I'm expecting a guy who wants to have sex with me. And if we're in the bedroom (or wherever) taking our clothes off, we're presumably gotten to that point. The wooing is over. He no longer has to impress me with his body type, or cock size, or sculpted abs, or anything else. If I'm taking your pants off, I like you, and I want to have sex with you. 
Lex
•
Lexington Wrote:when I go to bed with somebody... I'm expecting a guy who wants to have sex with me. And if we're in the bedroom (or wherever) taking our clothes off, we're presumably gotten to that point. The wooing is over. He no longer has to impress me with his body type, or cock size, or sculpted abs, or anything else. If I'm taking your pants off, I like you, and I want to have sex with you.
Yep. If the guy has an issue with hair? He'd have made sure you're not hairy WAY before getting to the removal of clothes part of things.
I do understand that fluctuation though that you're describing. I like myself. In fact, I'm very confident in myself. BUT, sometimes when treated badly it knocks me down and causes self doubt, even if it's by strangers. Sometimes when people ask about my facial scar, or stare at it, it can do the same thing. And yet, I -know- the scar doesn't make me ugly. I -know- I'm a good person worth respect, even when someone doesn't give it to me.
Maybe it's just a reaction that helps keep our egos in check?
•
|
