Reluctant to Have Sex
02-02-2015, 05:31 AM
Hey everyone!
So, I've been dating this guy since mid-November. He's 27, bisexual with more interest in men than women and we met at work. Before meeting him, I thought that I was asexual, because I've never really had much interest in dating, relationships and sex. Sex has never been much of an interest of mine, and I have a fairly low libido. I saw dating, relationships and sex as more of a social construct that we're pressured into. A part of me still thinks that way. Sexually, I can't go at it in a moments notice, I have to take a few days to rebuild my libido.
All of my previous experiences before this guy were dates that didn't go beyond the first date, or one-night stands. I am a virgin, but that's out of choice and not because the opportunity hasn't arisen. I wanted my first time to be with someone that I was seeing on a regular basis rather than a one night stand.
The guy I've been seeing and I have been taking things very slowly. We didn't kiss for the first time until at least our fifth date. He's spent the night at my place once a week for about a month and a half, and we haven't made that commitment of being in a monogamous relationship yet, although we have talked about it on occasion.
Surprisingly, I have been ready to get sexual with him for a while now. It's probably been about a month since I decided I wanted to have sex with him. He has been very reluctant, and I attribute that to his self-image. He's slightly overweight, but it doesn't bother me, and I think he looks fine how he is now, and he knows this. We've planned to fool around previously, but something has always come up. He was sick one time, and the second time he was in a car accident. He was genuinely sick and really was in an accident. Anyways, we talked about getting sexual this weekend, and he said he wants to wait until Valentine's Day. I find losing my virginity on Valentine's Day to be a little too cliche for me, but then I think that maybe I'm putting too much thought into that. I just wanted to get other guys' input. So what do you think? Is having sex for the first time on Valentine's Day too cliche, or am I thinking too much into it? Thanks!
So, I've been dating this guy since mid-November. He's 27, bisexual with more interest in men than women and we met at work. Before meeting him, I thought that I was asexual, because I've never really had much interest in dating, relationships and sex. Sex has never been much of an interest of mine, and I have a fairly low libido. I saw dating, relationships and sex as more of a social construct that we're pressured into. A part of me still thinks that way. Sexually, I can't go at it in a moments notice, I have to take a few days to rebuild my libido.
All of my previous experiences before this guy were dates that didn't go beyond the first date, or one-night stands. I am a virgin, but that's out of choice and not because the opportunity hasn't arisen. I wanted my first time to be with someone that I was seeing on a regular basis rather than a one night stand.
The guy I've been seeing and I have been taking things very slowly. We didn't kiss for the first time until at least our fifth date. He's spent the night at my place once a week for about a month and a half, and we haven't made that commitment of being in a monogamous relationship yet, although we have talked about it on occasion.
Surprisingly, I have been ready to get sexual with him for a while now. It's probably been about a month since I decided I wanted to have sex with him. He has been very reluctant, and I attribute that to his self-image. He's slightly overweight, but it doesn't bother me, and I think he looks fine how he is now, and he knows this. We've planned to fool around previously, but something has always come up. He was sick one time, and the second time he was in a car accident. He was genuinely sick and really was in an accident. Anyways, we talked about getting sexual this weekend, and he said he wants to wait until Valentine's Day. I find losing my virginity on Valentine's Day to be a little too cliche for me, but then I think that maybe I'm putting too much thought into that. I just wanted to get other guys' input. So what do you think? Is having sex for the first time on Valentine's Day too cliche, or am I thinking too much into it? Thanks!
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