How normal is it to have sex only with people you love?

[Iceblink]

The problem I have with what you were saying is that you're getting way too close to criticizing others for not living up to the standards of your opinion. People's sex lives are not up for judgment calls as far as I'm concerned unless they're messing with kids other mammals or harming themselves or others.

You, and everyone who's monogamous -- including me -- can do more to help others achieve it by not being judgmental about it and befriending people that can learn from the examples we set.

That is exactly what these kind of threads, that come up often in gay forum sites, are about. Judgment. If they were not, instead of describing why they feel they way they do, something like warmth and affection or that secure feeling that comes with commitment, most seem to explain it by inferring those that feel differently are lesser people, saying things like "have always been disgusting to me." In the days when I was single, I sometimes had sex with people I did not love and had no intention of ever having a relationship with, no plans of even asking for a number and giving a call. If you asked me why I enjoyed those experiences, it would be something along the lines of excitement, energy, and lust. I explained by saying what I liked, not the things I didn't like. I never described why I liked it by saying something like "waiting for love is disgusting."

[trywait]

intimacy trumps lust! at least based on my experience. but that's just me

[Virge]

That is exactly what these kind of threads, that come up often in gay forum sites, are about. Judgment. If they were not, instead of describing why they feel they way they do, something like warmth and affection or that secure feeling that comes with commitment, most seem to explain it by inferring those that feel differently are lesser people, saying things like "have always been disgusting to me." In the days when I was single, I sometimes had sex with people I did not love and had no intention of ever having a relationship with, no plans of even asking for a number and giving a call. If you asked me why I enjoyed those experiences, it would be something along the lines of excitement, energy, and lust. I explained by saying what I liked, not the things I didn't like. I never described why I liked it by saying something like "waiting for love is disgusting."

Yeah. I'm keeping those words Icepick. Thanks.

[meridannight]

[MENTION=22065]psxxx[/MENTION], i have to agree with Iceblink here.

it shouldn't be his ex. and if it's his ex, the ex should have a neutral stance and be there only for sex (but with their history that's hard to pull off). and even if you are above it that his ex shows disrespect for you, then your partner definitely shouldn't be okay with that. that's what's wrong here.

there are some boundaries. and if you let those boundaries be crossed you better be 100% sure you know what you're doing.

[indianajones]

As long as you think it is, it is. Many people have this thing that they would only sleep with the guy who they love, which is perfectly alright! However. most of the guys are generally okay to sleep with people non-romantically. I don't see anything wrong in either of them. However, once you are in a love relationship, i don't think sleeping with multiple partners would be acceptable. There's nothing called Open/platonic/casual relationship. Relationships are fundamentally supposed to be monogamous only!

[jasonsony]

great sex happens to two people who love each other or two people who love sex. :-D