counting days and getting things ready.

[Virge]

wow…

you're not going to say "The sexier…," "The harder…," "The longer…," "The wetter…," The wilder…," "The louder…" … and etc., those being just off the top of my head. :eek:

This wild long weekend you have planned… THIS we're going to want pictures for.

The wedding will be all hankies and cake, I'm sure!

O you can be sure of that! hahahaha! The Moms will make sure of that. Pictures and videos.

Jay and I've been chatting with a Aussie girl living in Spain who's doing all her own wedding planning and she's "spitting the dummy" about it all and not letting her Mom or anyone else help. Just reading about all the crap she's going through trying to get it all together sure make us thankful our Moms are running the whole thing. They've given us a real short list of things we need to either do or make decisions on. Music, suits. flowers, groomsmen and best men, vows... and the cakes. We DO NOT want anything with that awful wedding cake icing and nasty cake. So that's some trouble. The cake topper is another problem. We want some sort of casting of his hand and mine together done for that.

We're not going to "gay it up" real big but there are going to be some pretty gay songs in it. There's going to be a lot of straight people, like my Mom's and Dad's friends and business associates who'll be there for their first gay wedding. Both of us want to make it something they will have nothing but good things to say about to others. It's not that we're trying to play down being gay. It's because the better impression people get from our wedding the easier it will on the guys and gals who gat married after us. So there won't be any go go dancers in g strings or drag shows. hahahaha!

[LJay]

the more humble; the more giving; the more willing to listen; the readier to smile; the more helpful to others; the less flight in the face of trouble; the more soothing in pain;

[Wolfpack]

Congratulations on getting married soon.

[Cuddly]

nvm you already corrected that!

Congratulations.

I can't come up with any ?_?

[CellarDweller]

congrats Virge!!!!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

It's like this, Bowyn.

Let's put it to a vote to find out which of the two of us needs professional help the worst.

Other than that I don't know why you want to play the role of an old old old person who slams people with this type stuff.

I have no problems with you. Let's keep it that way.

Slam? I have yet to slam anyone on this board.

You're the one that called it compulsive, I simply said that if it is compulsive you should take it to a professional.

And yeah, I bet I would win the whole 'who is the craziest one here' which is why I can tell you from experience that if this is compulsive behavior and you don't nip it in the bud in sooner than later it will become a rather large problem for you later down the road.

You read a lot more into my one line than you needed too.

[Hardheaded1]

Many a bride has planned out her wedding with greater detail and a longer lead time.

I don't think it qualifies as compulsive even if the OP himself finds it so. There is a double standard with weddings. A woman going to this degree of planning would be applauded by her peers, but a man is shamed, especially in a heteronormative culture like South Dakota.

[Virge]

Many a bride has planned out her wedding with greater detail and a longer lead time.

I don't think it qualifies as compulsive even if the OP himself finds it so. There is a double standard with weddings. A woman going to this degree of planning would be applauded by her peers, but a man is shamed, especially in a heteronormative culture like South Dakota.

Thanks HH1. Originally I was against our 2 moms taking over most of the planning. Now that I see how complicated it is I'm thankful they volunteered for it. It's been an education so far not only about weddings in general but how they really aren't just about the people getting married. With both of our mothers having no daughters' weddings to go overboard about it's filling a big need in their lives. Beyond the suits, music, the ceremony, vows, our guests, best men, groomsmen and few other things the moms are putting it all together. I would have had a few meltdowns by now with all the drama my mom has already dealt with in this heterocrentric state and it's all just in the planning stage.

One big thing we can use suggestions on is alternatives to the heteronormative concept of multi tiered sugary white wedding cakes without doing one of those artsy cakes.

[Hardheaded1]

One big thing we can use suggestions on is alternatives to the heteronormative concept of multi=tiered sugary white wedding cakes without doing one of those artsy cakes.

I'm not clear what aspect of a tiered cake you are trying to avoid. Is it calories? Is it unhealthy frosting, sugar and fat? Or is it the cliche?

In the words of the dowager from Downton Abbey, "nothing succeeds like excess!" The role of the wedding cake has evolved to become the centerpiece of wedding receptions. Outside the bride's dress, it is perhaps the single most elaborate piece of ostentation presented for the guests.

If anything along the lines of a healthier celebration is wanted, I'd strongly oppose that. Celebrations are standouts and weddings do not happen every day. One shouldn't eat a Porterhouse steak every day or even every week, but one certainly should eat a Porterhouse sometime to mark a celebration. The only exception to that would be alcohol, as a single event of excess there could and does sometimes lead to long-term consequences.

If you and Jay are simply wanting a creative take on a cake substitute, then consider a tart tree. Everyone raves about cupcake trees, which I believe to be a bit passe at this juncture, but no one seems to consider making a pie or tart tree. Individual-sized pies can be prepared in advance and kept with far more ease than cake and with less deterioration. They can run the gamut of chocolate, banana, strawberry, chess, pecan, peach, cherry, pineapple, coconut, peanut butter, and apple. If you are also trying to make some choices lower calorie, a fresh strawberry tart has almost nothing bad in it. A couple of choices like that mixed in can provide the healthy alternative, but don't impose them across the board. The tower (tree) can also include savory pies like Natchitoches meat pies, or crawfish pies if you really want to create a buzz.

You could also set up a large chocolate fountain. It does seem like height is an element in creating a centerpiece that is designed to impress a crowd. Do a bit of research and have a great selection of things people want chocolate drooled onto.

If you're just hell-bent on moving away from sweets, consider making an elaborate seafood bar. There may be a few people with iodine or seafood allergies, but you can easily throw in a few high-end beef offerings as well. Of course, if your reception is strictly a cookies and punch affair, the heavy hors d'oeuvres are out. If not, few things impress and mark excess like well-prepared seafood, be they cold dishes or hot. Tropical chutneys, spicy ceviches, and shellfish cocktails are all welcome chilled treats if the wedding is summer-set, and can be presented in damned appealing ice beds.

Another thing people forget is how intoxicating roasted nuts can be. When your parents and I were children, dime stores and the like would have cashews roasting in a bin much like popcorn is now. Customers would buy bags of them due to the irresistible smell of them roasting. You could easily set up something where either pistachios, almonds, pecans, or cashews were kept warm and fragrant at a station, and served by a host/hostess just like punch is at a normal reception. People would never forget it, and it would also provide a convenient target for salacious double entendres, ever the allowed social excursion prior to a honeymoon.

Just a few starter ideas.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

He is trying to do something that isn't considered hetro-normal. Whatever that actually is - I personally see it as being human and following human traditions that go back a few decades to thousands of years depending on how far one wants to take the symbolism of the ceremony and rites of the typical marriage.

I think that Virge needs to study up on why wedding cakes are what they are today, I think he missed on on the whole 'what it means' and perhaps he would see that there is merit to the tradition.

http://www.ehow.com/facts_7641117_layer-...cakes.html


Frankly I'm confused why anyone LGBT would insist on getting married then say 'We don't want to do the hetero-normal thing' after all marriage is about as hetro-normal as one can get without being hetro.

We (LGBT) were offered non-hetro-normal alternatives like Civil Unions and Domestic Partnerships but no we insisted it had to be marriage, like the straight folk have.