My dilemma (intergenerational attraction)

[princealbertofb]

@Barefoot, to add to what MikeW here had to say, intergenerational couplings have happened in the past, and they were probably not so rare once upon a time, but I think we are talking about times when being gay and open about it was not the norm. These couples would exist and pretend that they were in sort of father / son, uncle / nephew, Godfather / Godson relationships when probably the older one in the couple was just passing on his experience and maybe wealth to the younger one. A way of bequeathing assets, so to speak.

These days, just as you wouldn't really expect a woman to marry a much older man, unless it was in some way money-related, a young gay man would probably be looking more for someone his own age, or maybe a few years older (or younger). However, there are all types, and some young men might feel better protected being loved and cared for by a father type figure or a grandfather type figure, maybe all the more so if that figure is young in mind and spirit.

As it takes all sorts, I think I shall wish you good luck with your search. I would, however, not call you a pessimist but more of a realist. Your path will be a hard one. Your personal likes and dislikes are not going to make this easy. But since you say you're quite young minded, would you, if it occurred, get into a loving (and sexual) relationship with someone just a few years younger than you? or maybe even a companion who's your age or a little older? Have you precluded that totally from the scope of your search?

[Barefoot]

Thanks to everyone for taking time to help me. Attraction is such a subjective thing. I have seen 20 year olds who I wasn't attracted to at all and 30 year olds who I was. I specified that age group (18 to 28) as a way of making my point, but it's a lot more complicated than that. I might be attracted to and happy with someone older than I mentioned, if he was young looking, young in mind, spirit and attitude and then there are the physical things I mentioned (not hairy, not muscular and not too tall) that are big turn offs for me. But even so I'm still talking about someone a lot younger than I am. Even a 35 year old, which is closing in on my uppermost limit (maybe 40 for that very rare man and even he probably wouldn't be attracted to me) is much younger than I am. I turned 60 yesterday and I cannot imagine myself with someone anywhere near my age; it's not gonna happen. I'd be very unhappy and I won't do that. It's for these reasons that I had given up trying. I gave up thinking and dreaming about it, found other things to do and think about, and became satisfied with that. As for the drama that comes about with cross generational relationships, I well know about that and having remembered it, I wouldn't like to repeat it either, at least not as I remember it. It ended with emotional pain and I've had plenty of that. Perhaps it's just too late for me now. I've always believed that some people aren't meant to be in a relationship, and perhaps I am one of them. Is the grass really greener on the other side? I don't know. A lot of answers and wisdom have been given here and I'm still stuck not knowing what to do or whether I should do anything at all.