04-02-2015, 01:32 AM
So, I've been at my new job for almost 10 months & there's this guy there who I've become attracted to.
For the first couple months everything was normal. We worked together & kept everything work related. We sort of developed this playfulness where we would talk trash to each other in passing. It was dumb, but it seemed to make the day go by faster. Then, one day he came to me & asked if i would rub some icy hot on his back& shoulder, but I told him to have someone else do it. I immediately knew why I denied him: I was attracted to him. I was afraid of my reaction to physically rubbing him down in such a public area. I didn't think it would look appropriate.
In the last few months, he has opened up to me about troubles with his wife (separated). I listen & feel for him. Whenever he talks about me hypothetically being in his situation with a woman, he always corrects himself with "or a man." I never give him any confirmation. Then he told me he's ok with someone who's gay, AS long as they don't bring it on him! Lately, he has been doing things that are confusing me & strengthening my attraction.
He constantly shows me his six pack & loves to break out doing push-ups. He has this thing where he grabs his crotch. Plenty of guys do it. Its a man thing. One day he was doing it excessively. I asked him why does he keep doing that. He asked me why was I looking. I didn't answer. Ever since, every time he talks to me while I'm sitting in front of him, he constanly grabs his crotch. Its so hard NOT TO LOOK! Then, last week he slapped me on the butt with the handle of something he was holding. I was completely shocked. I have no idea why he did that. I didn't know what to say, so i didn't react.
A couple days ago, he was chatting with a female co-worker who dislikes me for no reasons unknown. She's the flirty type when she wants something from a guy. I ignored their conversation & kept at my work. After she walked away, he came over & asked if I was okay. Then he said, "don't be jealous." My verbal reaction was,"of what?!?!" He never responded & we didn't talk to one another for the rest of the day. Funny thing, I was jealous.
Yesterday, he treated me to lunch & everything was fine. But today, we didn't talk at all. I caught him staring at me several times, but in passing he never said anything & neither did I.
I don't know what to do. I know my attraction for him is changing the way I interact around him. My thing is, what is changing the way he interacts with me? I keep going back to the "I'm ok with gay people as long as they don't bring it on me" comment he made. Its possible he's seeing a difference in our friendship on my end & is backing away. Its possible all of things he does is entirely innocent & I'm letting my attraction to him warp my judgement.
I don't know how to go back to the way things were before. I don't want to mix work with play. I don't want there to be any animosity on either of our end. I'm not looking to lose our friendship, but what if there is fall out? I'm not looking at leaving my job over him & I'm sure he feels the same.
So do you guys think I should talk it out with him? How do I get over the attraction I have for him? At this point, it's mostly physical, but if I'm getting jealous cause he's talking to some skank & he's able to notice... there's something emotional developing & i don't want that. I don't know how to handle this.
Any suggestions?
For the first couple months everything was normal. We worked together & kept everything work related. We sort of developed this playfulness where we would talk trash to each other in passing. It was dumb, but it seemed to make the day go by faster. Then, one day he came to me & asked if i would rub some icy hot on his back& shoulder, but I told him to have someone else do it. I immediately knew why I denied him: I was attracted to him. I was afraid of my reaction to physically rubbing him down in such a public area. I didn't think it would look appropriate.
In the last few months, he has opened up to me about troubles with his wife (separated). I listen & feel for him. Whenever he talks about me hypothetically being in his situation with a woman, he always corrects himself with "or a man." I never give him any confirmation. Then he told me he's ok with someone who's gay, AS long as they don't bring it on him! Lately, he has been doing things that are confusing me & strengthening my attraction.
He constantly shows me his six pack & loves to break out doing push-ups. He has this thing where he grabs his crotch. Plenty of guys do it. Its a man thing. One day he was doing it excessively. I asked him why does he keep doing that. He asked me why was I looking. I didn't answer. Ever since, every time he talks to me while I'm sitting in front of him, he constanly grabs his crotch. Its so hard NOT TO LOOK! Then, last week he slapped me on the butt with the handle of something he was holding. I was completely shocked. I have no idea why he did that. I didn't know what to say, so i didn't react.
A couple days ago, he was chatting with a female co-worker who dislikes me for no reasons unknown. She's the flirty type when she wants something from a guy. I ignored their conversation & kept at my work. After she walked away, he came over & asked if I was okay. Then he said, "don't be jealous." My verbal reaction was,"of what?!?!" He never responded & we didn't talk to one another for the rest of the day. Funny thing, I was jealous.
Yesterday, he treated me to lunch & everything was fine. But today, we didn't talk at all. I caught him staring at me several times, but in passing he never said anything & neither did I.
I don't know what to do. I know my attraction for him is changing the way I interact around him. My thing is, what is changing the way he interacts with me? I keep going back to the "I'm ok with gay people as long as they don't bring it on me" comment he made. Its possible he's seeing a difference in our friendship on my end & is backing away. Its possible all of things he does is entirely innocent & I'm letting my attraction to him warp my judgement.
I don't know how to go back to the way things were before. I don't want to mix work with play. I don't want there to be any animosity on either of our end. I'm not looking to lose our friendship, but what if there is fall out? I'm not looking at leaving my job over him & I'm sure he feels the same.
So do you guys think I should talk it out with him? How do I get over the attraction I have for him? At this point, it's mostly physical, but if I'm getting jealous cause he's talking to some skank & he's able to notice... there's something emotional developing & i don't want that. I don't know how to handle this.
Any suggestions?