Bottoming: is it for everyone?

[Jason111]

Hi guys and gals,

I guess this is a common issue among some people, but it really starts frustrating me.
I've been top for most of my life until I got together with(now my ex) boyfriend. We were both tops and we enjoyed our time for almost a year and we were REALLY sexually fulfilled and satisfied even without anal sex.

However, we decided to take it the next level last summer and tried to do anal.
We've done it several times and for me as a bottom it felt strange, like something's not in the right place, I didn't feel comfortable at the beginning. Pain was immense at the beginning of every sex, but it would later fade away till it get OK. Nothing more. Just ok.

As time passed by I grew to feel more comfortable with it and now I really like the idea of being a bottom. Last time we had sex I didn't even feel pain at all. I am not tight, never been, but even with the absence of pain I couldn't quite figure out what's all the fuss about. Most gay guys I know are bottoms. Or versatile. *versatile yeah okay*

So I'm wondering: Is it possible that I don't have a , hm, predisposition for that role? Is it possible that some people are meant to be tops or bottoms only? I mean this in physical way.

The last few times I had sex with him was good, but only the idea of him fucking me, you know. It was KIND OF nice having a dick in my behind, but I didn't really feel any tingling sensation, pleasurable pain nor did I feel that my prostate was being massaged.

I don't wanna be an asshole and say he didn't do it right or that it was the matter of size, but I really feel as if I'm missing out a huge part of it.


SO SORRY FOR THE LONG POST. Here's a cat!

[Lexington]

I know some gay guys think "top" means "guy who hasn't gotten anybody to convince him how awesome bottoming is yet". But I don't think that's the case. I consider myself a "versatile top". In my case anyway, that means I'll almost always top - I can count the number of times I've bottomed on the fingers of one hand. I've enjoyed each of those encounters, but yeah, I'd much rather top.

Lex

[MikeW]

So… you enjoy it but not as much as you think you should or could???

I'm confused.

In any case, no, like most things, it isn't for everyone.

[Butterfingers]

I had always topped, then I met a guy who I cared about. I asked him to top and I loved it.
I didn't have some "anal orgasm", it was just exciting to have him in me. I don't think that all guys understand
the thrill of pleasuring someone in that fashion.
This was years ago, I still think about that day and that guy.

[ShiftyNJ]

No, someone posted a statistic here that like 60% of gay men don't have anal sex at all. I'm assuming you're talking about that specifically, although in some quarters being "a bottom" seems to suggest you get the passive role in whatever is going on.

[Albie]

Very few things in the world are for everyone. In fact I can only think of breathing, that is a common trait for everyone, lol.

[TwisttheLeaf]

For me, (and let me preface this by saying that it's NOT the case for everyone, by any means) topping and bottoming have a very close correlation with dominance and submission. In fact, it's extremely hard for me to not feel that way during sex. If I'm on bottom, there's a damn good chance I'm the submissive party in the encounter.... if I'm on top, I guarantee I'm the aggressor in the encounter.

This was the case prior to Gideon, but in being in a D/s relationship with Gid, it's only reinforced what I always felt to be the case.

So for me, your question is like asking.... "Is being aggressive/dominant for everyone?" or "Is being submissive for everyone?" And the answer is, HELL NO. It isn't. But you'll never know for sure if something like that will be for you until you try it. Now you've tried it, and you know that it's not. Nothing wrong with that.

[Gideon]

For me, (and let me preface this by saying that it's NOT the case for everyone, by any means) topping and bottoming have a very close correlation with dominance and submission. In fact, it's extremely hard for me to not feel that way during sex. If I'm on bottom, there's a damn good chance I'm the submissive party in the encounter.... if I'm on top, I guarantee I'm the aggressor in the encounter.

This was the case prior to Gideon, but in being in a D/s relationship with Gid, it's only reinforced what I always felt to be the case.

So for me, your question is like asking.... "Is being aggressive/dominant for everyone?" or "Is being submissive for everyone?" And the answer is, HELL NO. It isn't. But you'll never know for sure if something like that will be for you until you try it. Now you've tried it, and you know that it's not. Nothing wrong with that.

You know, love, I do recall a time or two where you were on top...okay technically, or literally you were on bottom, but you were the...penetrater(Is that even a word?) and yet I was absolutely and entirely in control.

Of course this is not the norm by far, but I just had to point that out because you know, I enjoy the unusual and making you feel your submission -while- fucking me was just too pleasurable to forget.

[TwisttheLeaf]

You know, love, I do recall a time or two where you were on top...okay technically, or literally you were on bottom, but you were the...penetrater(Is that even a word?) and yet I was absolutely and entirely in control.

Of course this is not the norm by far, but I just had to point that out because you know, I enjoy the unusual and making you feel your submission -while- fucking me was just too pleasurable to forget.

I think it's penetrator .. you know, like terminator, yeah?

*Chuckles*

Shaking up the norms now and then is definitely not a bad thing.

[Rareboy]

While I wish it were for everyone...for some guys...it isn't.

Foreplay including fingering and rimming is really important for me and it is pure mind-blasting joy when you have a top that can hit the prostate and knows how to pace and smoothly transition through a number of positions...because each one has something completely different to offer.