A question about grooming or "manscaping"

[Lexington]

Hey, there's nothing wrong with having exacting standards for your boyfriends (or hook-ups). If you only want left-handed Eskimo pipe-welders with twelve-inch cocks, that's totally your call. Of course, you'll have to be aware that you won't have a lot of guys to choose from.

And of course, given that you're now in your sixties, and you're basically saying "OK, if you shave your body, then I'll be interested in you".... you better have something more to offer than a vape pen.

Lex

[Barefoot]

If you two guys posting just above me want to argue with me all day you'll find I'm up to the task. So go for it. Let's see what you've got. I'll do just fine.

[Pyromancer]

I'm sorry, but if a guy told me that I wouldn't be worthy of dating him unless I shaved my body hair, my response would contain 2 words, and they aint good morning...

[Barefoot]

I'm sorry, but if a guy told me that I wouldn't be worthy of dating him unless I shaved my body hair, my response would contain 2 words, and they aint good morning...

Did I say a guy wouldn't be worthy of dating me unless he shaved? When and where did I say that? I don't recall saying that. Can you even read? You guys are doing wonders for my post count. Thanks!

[Camfer]

Well, I gotta give a different perspective here. No, I don't think it's appropriate to ask someone to change his appearance. I do think that if you find yourself involved on a regular basis with someone sexually, you can state that you'd find him even more attractive if he did ___________. Then it is up to the guy to either make then change to please you or ignore your slightly more subtle input on how you'd like him to appear.

I met my BF when he was 27 and had almost no chest hair. Now he's 31 and it has come in. My strong preference is that he keep it trimmed, but certainly not shaved. I honestly don't even know if I've told him this. In the context of all the love we have for each other and all the great things we do together and talk about, this type of trivial stuff just doesn't come up. I look at the big picture and don't sweat the details. Relationships are not successful if you focus on the minutiae.

[Iceblink]

I'd say there's no harm in asking. Then again, it seems the current gay environment is currently weighted heavier towards the trimmers and shavers.

Up until a few years ago, I would say that was true. Today there seems to be a return to facial hair and chest hair. Very recently there might be somewhat of a retreat from the heavy beard that was popular for a while, but a return to that clean shaven look does not seem to be there yet.



About the topic at hand, I am going to agree with Camfer. The look you choose is a part of your person, it is who you are. I would be offended if somebody asked me to do something like that and probably not have kind words him. It is rude to ask someone to become your creation.

[Barefoot]

Ok. I asked this question because, although I had reservations about it myself, I wanted to verify whether or not my reservations were correct. Not being absolutely certain, and not fully trusting my instincts about the issue, I decided to hear the opinions of others. Having heard them, and the majority consensus being that it's a bad idea, I will refrain from asking anyone to shave; I will simply avoid hairy men.

[Barefoot]

Thinking more about what I just posted above, and also about the opinions given in regard to this thread and others I have posted since joining this forum, I'm wondering if perhaps I'm too old to be thinking of looking for a relationship. I've been alone a long time and I'm completely out of the loop. Perhaps I'm rushing into something I'd be better off to avoid at this point in my life. It seems I have little to offer and much to ask. It is probably not appropriate for me to do that, given the circumstances.

[East]

Ok. I asked this question because, although I had reservations about it myself, I wanted to verify whether or not my reservations were correct. Not being absolutely certain, and not fully trusting my instincts about the issue, I decided to hear the opinions of others. Having heard them, and the majority consensus being that it's a bad idea, I will refrain from asking anyone to shave; I will simply avoid hairy men.

I am going to play devil's advocate here....

Say you find your "soulmate" and he is 18 and hairless and you are completely in love with him....

...and though he loves you he tells you that you are too old...or too fat...or too something...and wants you to change for him...and even if you wanted to it would be so difficult or even impossible ...to change....

Now...would you think to yourself...gosh...he really does love me....

If you don't change...he does not want anything to do with you

...so is what he is feeling love?....or...something else?

I am saying this because your question seemed outrageous...maybe not to you..but to the average reader...especially considering all of the circumstances which are very relevant as they are in each individual circumstance...

I am not saying this to pick a fight...I am saying this to maybe help you think of things differently....evolve a little if you are so inclined....

[Barefoot]

Yes I get your point, and this is why I said in my last post that I'm out of the loop. Meaning that I'm way off track in all of this. I've simply been alone for too long and in all that time I've lost my perspective. I've gotten used to being just me, no one else to think about or consider. For this reason I'm thinking it might not be appropriate for me to try to get into a relationship after all this time and at my age. I'm an old man now; it's time I accepted that. That's been my problem - not accepting it.