Thanks, East. I just needed to listen. That's all. Take care, and all will be well.
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Well you are dying around age 57. This whole 'saying goodbye' to the past is your burying the old you.
This Facebook connection with the past, realizing all of this stuff, then making a choice to let it go is the process of letting go of the past, of moving on - for you.
We all die each night and wake up a new person - each day kills the person we were the day before and makes us a new person. Usually its a small death, just some minor little change - then other times we go through these major shifts of perspective and understanding. I think you are having one of these latter experiences.
You'll be fine.
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It could also be, my friend, that you are just trying to say goodbye to the old memory of them 20-30 years younger.... Just putting this out of your mind to embrace the new THEM, just as you embraced the NEW YEW, but you had time to deal with all the ramifications of the new you/yew on a daily basis...
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Nothing weird about not wanting to keep the memory of those we loved when they were sick. I never quite understood why my mother kept that photo of my brother covered with KS and looking so gaunt and fragile and pale. My father gave us all a photo of him looking healthy. And I've kept that one on my shelf. No need to keep the photos of the dying, when we can keep a photo of them enjoying life in full health. The rest, to me is very off-putting. Not that I don't respect death and dying and disease, but I think the dying might prefer us to remember them at their best. The rest for me, is unhealthy and unhelpful. I was not able to see my brother once dead. I just didn't want that to be my last memory of him.
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So you think his shallowness was all a fake cover-up?
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