I don't have the typical "Sexual appetite" of a "gay male"

[Beaux]

I dated a guy who was only into frottage years ago, although I do admit that after about a month of just frottage it got pretty boring for me and I ended the relationship. However, that just goes to show that your not alone in your preferred "style" of sex-play.
~Beaux

[verysimple]

everything changes, I used to be like that when it's been a month since I came out... But then I just started to look at gay anal and oral from a different approach! It really is a turn on, u just have to take your time to get to know sex and let it into your life. I first started with the most innocent form which was kissing then started going further with sex not in one time.. it was at different times.. And if you're saving yourself, that's great! Just make sure you tell this to your partner, date, friend whoever!

As for him forcing you, sex can only be pleasurable through the willingness of the two people to allow each other to share their affection through intimate interaction. Also, remember this is YOUR body, this is YOU making your choices. It is up to you to say yes or no to the person who wants to do it with you. Never keep going without you liking or being comfortable with what's happening just because he wants to or he is attracted to you and he likes your body cuz you'll end up regretting it. If you say no and he keeps forcing you to do what he wants, then it is no longer sex but sexual harassment and rape... And that's where the police steps in!

[verysimple]

Bottom line, take all the time you need. There's no need to rush into anything!

[Lexington]

I've had some amazingly hot sex session which just consisted of making out and rubbing up against each other. And I never considered that anything was missing from them. Would I ONLY want to do that every time I had sex? No. But that's just what makes me different from you.

Lex

[Iceblink]

We all have our turn ons and there is nothing wrong with that. You just have to realize the reality of your situation. Your turn on is shared by less men, which means finding a potential partner may be more difficult.

One suggestion, you might want to talk to someone about your reaction to seeing sexuality, because it seems a little extreme to 'throw up' when seeing porn. I am homosexual, not bi, not straight, but only attracted to men, but I have seen straight porn, including some that I find pretty vile and disgusting. I probably even said something like "I could literally throw up right now," but I didn't actually mean "literally." I was just saying it for emphasis in that it was something I was not into. You might want to explore if there is some kind of roadblock in your mind, something causing such a severe reaction, that keeps you from enjoying sexuality.

[MikeW]

there's someone out there for everyone.

I suppose it is true, what they say.

[East]

Hmmm...the "throwing up" part...is that literal? If so...I think there might be an underlying deeper problem.....could be a repressed memory to have that kind of reaction....

Other than that...what turns us on runs the entire spectrum of human and sexual behavior so find someone whose desires are compatible with your own and experiment...

You may find your sexual desires changing as time goes along...no worries though...just go with the flow and be true to yourself and you will be fine...

The throwing up thing though...this suggests something else is amiss ....to me...

[TwisttheLeaf]

Porn and social stereotypes are a bad place to start grading what is or isn't "typical". People like what they like, yeah. And there's a lot of gay men out there that have no interest in giving or receiving anal. Nothing wrong with that.

I do agree with others tho. I wouldn't go writing things off until you've at least experimented a bit first. You might end up surprised in what your body responds positively to if given a chance.

I also, like [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION], wondered about the throwing up thing. It seems a bit extreme for being just a lack of interest.

[strangeblackguy]

Oops, …. sorry about that. Every once in a while one slips through the cracks and doesn't get a reply. Anyway, welcome to the forum.

Not quite sure what to say. I mean, you're right, one certainly does get the impression that most gay men pretty much follow the gay-porn script: Foreplay with some kissing and fondling, moving on to blow jobs and rimming, culminating in anal sex and cumming. And you're probably right that most gay guys would want that (and more) in a relationship (although not necessarily in that order, in the space of 20 minutes, or all the time). SO… finding someone that you're personally (romantically) compatible with AND sexually compatible with is like looking for a needle in a hay stack.

My personal sexual preferences are pretty tame -- not exactly like yours but vanilla by most standards. Still, that hasn't stopped me from having two LTRs *and* experimenting and exploring sexual activities that were outside my personal comfort zone. So… I guess that's the question you have to decide for yourself… If you're going to insist that you don't have sexual experiences other than the one's you've described, then, yes, that is going to severely limit the number of potential sex and life partners you'll find (which, for a gay guy, are already fairly limited compared to our hetero counterparts). Obviously, the more comfortable and open you feel about sex in general the more men you're likely to meet and, consequently, the more likely you are to meet someone you're personally compatible with as well.

The only thing I can suggest is looking into some form of sex training. There may be others but the only 'school' I know of that might be of help is They offer workshops that don't so much concentrate on sexual positions as *stimulation* through touch and breath work. There are also gay tantra groups.

Good luck and I hope this gets some other replies as well!

haha, I just wanted to make a joke about a beached whale.

I appreciate the advice and I think I will have to get out of my sexual comfort zone. I guess it's like compromising in a relationship, because you're in love. This school sounds interesting and I'm going to have to check out gay tantra!

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I appreciate it.

[strangeblackguy]

I know a few couples who don't practice anal. There's no set rule that says you must.

I guess it's like rude people who ask what position somebody is before considering them a serious dating or even sexual prospect.

Sexual compatibility is a huge part of relationships and I can just imagine "Can you believe he doesn't want to get f*cked? What a waste of an a$$!"

Thank you for the reply.