I don't have the typical "Sexual appetite" of a "gay male"

[strangeblackguy]

embrace what you are, youre not alone.

Anal (including rimming and fingering) do nothing fpr me.

Oral can be hit and miss. And id only do it with a guy im dating / Bf.

Stimulation through touch is more my kind of thing. Being a fetish guy, there is nothing that turns me on more than teasing a guy with tickling in a sensual way to make him squirm and moan. Mixing it with other sensual touch, as well as kissing and licking sensitive spots. Especially the feet.

I admit I am a bit ashamed. As I feel like I am "lacking" something for not wanting to engage in certain activities.

Stimulation sounds interesting, I'm going to try and explore that. Thank you!

[strangeblackguy]

There are plenty of guys whose preferences are similar to yours, and -- even if there weren't -- you should not feel like you are obligated to do anything you don't like, or think there's something wrong with you for what you don't. I would just say be very up front when you meet people and let them decide it's a deal breaker. Don't wait til you or they are emotionally invested.

I am much like you in that the emotional connection to a guy and just being physically with him is way more important to me than "who puts what where". To me your attraction is to the person, not the activity. I have tried various things and a lot of it leaves me cold. There are some things I will do if my guy likes it but it's really for him, and some things that are show-stoppers.

I have actually not been upfront about it, out of shame. However, it certainly would weed out guys and not waste their time or mine.

Thank you for the advice. I am going to be more "proud" about my likes.

[strangeblackguy]

Hmmm...the "throwing up" part...is that literal? If so...I think there might be an underlying deeper problem.....could be a repressed memory to have that kind of reaction....

Other than that...what turns us on runs the entire spectrum of human and sexual behavior so find someone whose desires are compatible with your own and experiment...

You may find your sexual desires changing as time goes along...no worries though...just go with the flow and be true to yourself and you will be fine...

The throwing up thing though...this suggests something else is amiss ....to me...

haha, yeah, it was literal. I have a weak stomach, so it grossed me out, initially.

I guess I expected them to have changed by now, but perhaps you are right. Thanks for the reply!

[strangeblackguy]

I think that what I've underlined above is the most important point that anyone has made here...I know it was true for me. And it's been my experience that porn bears little resemblance to reality. One of the first porn vids I ever watched had a guy pulling his dick out of someone's ass and shoving it directly into their mouth...it was almost enough to turn me straight...

Maybe just relax a bit and focus on finding someone you're attracted to, getting to know them and exploring likes and dislikes together...

Almost enough to turn you straight! hahaha

Sex seems to be a huge part of relationships, so it's confusing in terms of whether I should share my dislikes early on or not. I definitely think romance and emotions are important, but I'd be crushed if they found my sexual preferences lacking.

[strangeblackguy]

Porn and social stereotypes are a bad place to start grading what is or isn't "typical". People like what they like, yeah. And there's a lot of gay men out there that have no interest in giving or receiving anal. Nothing wrong with that.

I do agree with others tho. I wouldn't go writing things off until you've at least experimented a bit first. You might end up surprised in what your body responds positively to if given a chance.

I also, like [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION], wondered about the throwing up thing. It seems a bit extreme for being just a lack of interest.

While I realize porn isn't real life, people who I've dated and discussed intercourse with, always leaned towards me being a bottom, so it does seem like the majority is into anal.

I have a pretty weak stomach. In highschool, I went to the ER after watching a movie in class that had a lot of violence.

[strangeblackguy]

I dated a guy who was only into frottage years ago, although I do admit that after about a month of just frottage it got pretty boring for me and I ended the relationship. However, that just goes to show that your not alone in your preferred "style" of sex-play.
~Beaux

I know what you were going for, but it pretty much made me feel like I'd be the guy in the situation you described. Left, because it was boring. But you're right, I suppose I'm not the only one.

[strangeblackguy]

I suppose it is true, what they say.

I think Lady Gaga wants her wig back, Jabba.

[strangeblackguy]

We all have our turn ons and there is nothing wrong with that. You just have to realize the reality of your situation. Your turn on is shared by less men, which means finding a potential partner may be more difficult.

One suggestion, you might want to talk to someone about your reaction to seeing sexuality, because it seems a little extreme to 'throw up' when seeing porn. I am homosexual, not bi, not straight, but only attracted to men, but I have seen straight porn, including some that I find pretty vile and disgusting. I probably even said something like "I could literally throw up right now," but I didn't actually mean "literally." I was just saying it for emphasis in that it was something I was not into. You might want to explore if there is some kind of roadblock in your mind, something causing such a severe reaction, that keeps you from enjoying sexuality.

Religious indoctrination is probably a large part of it, besides having a weak stomach. I've heard about that 2 girls 1 cup video and I am never watching, because I know I will be traumatized.

I was taught masturbation itself was sinful and wrong, so I hope to speak with a therapist before getting into a future relationship.