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03-26-2015, 02:19 AM

I knew because I wanted to hold men and be held by them.

I knew because I was never attracted to a woman sexually. Bisexual men would be. I'm not bi. I'm gay.

I knew because I wanted a family and a marriage at a time when it was not possible for gay men, and even that dream wasn't enough to enable me to date a woman with any erotic involvement.

I know because I see men in a way that I do not see women, and it is instinctive, not learned.

03-26-2015, 03:42 AM

My advice is that you shouldn't care what coworkers think. Also, you shouldn't feel depressed that random people think you're gay. I mean I don't get upset when random people think I'm straight.

You shouldn't think that you are gay because other people think you are. Only you should know who you are, others cannot dictate that.

03-26-2015, 03:58 AM

I do find it kind of odd that what other people think of you is causing you so much stress....trust me...you would know if you are gay or not...and if you're not...then what these people say shouldn't be affecting you like this....is there some underlying cause to this? Something else to it that you haven't shared with us yet....?----Barry

03-26-2015, 06:06 AM

This is Barry's husband, Bryan. We share an account together. I knew I was "different" from the rest of the kids when I was 7 years old. I had a "crush" like all little kids do with each other at that age. It wasn't a sexual crush since I didn't even know what sex was at that age. All I knew was the kid in my class was really cute and I liked him like girls liked boys. But I never said anything but I knew it was wrong at that time to what I was raised around. Raised around what is "normal".

I know I'm gay because I'm not sexually attracted to women. A old high school friend of mine back in the old days offered to help me out when I asked her if I could get sexually aroused by her. She did it as a request I had made to help me determine and sort out my "feelings". I couldn't even touch her because it literally made me sick to my stomach. Female anatomy disgusts me. There's no easy way or nice way to say it. I've always been able to connect with the opposite sex but on emotional boundaries. I can help by offering them guy advice and relationship advice. I can also help heterosexual men by telling them what a woman wants and needs. And no, I am not transgendered. It's about connecting to the opposite sex and same sex in various ways that's not sexual.

As my husband said, there has to be something much deeper that you're not telling us. We won't judge. People say things about gay men (and half is true- but so is everything else about straight people, lesbian people, bisexual people, queer people, etc.) But from what I've read these people on here with my husband and I included- we won't judge. We've been there. We know what's going on. But if you're secure with your sexuality and you know for a fact that there is no possibility of you being gay, bisexual, or even curious, than why care what your co-workers think? Honestly, why should they care? It's nobodies business in the first place. And it sounds like their sexually harassing you.

Have you ever looked at someone of the same-sex and got aroused? Maybe not penis-wise but it made you anxious and excited? Have you ever watched porn with men involved and been aroused by the male performing while watching the female? Maybe even touched someone of the same-sex not sexually but it made you comfortable and you enjoyed it? And I don't want to scare you if any of this has happened. It's normal. When I was a teen boys in school would have circle jerks- I was never invited lol, but they would all get together to watch porn and jerk off. Guys talk about their penis size to each other or have conversations about sex stories. Something straight men, gay men and bi-sexual men do.

If you know without a doubt that you are 110% heterosexual than there is no need to be stressed to the point you're contemplated on the idea of suicide. As someone suggested- maybe find new work if it's that bad. If it was me and I was straight I'd tell them to fuck off and it's nobody's business. Are they male co-workers? Perhaps their insecure with their sexuality or something along those lines. Be who you are and fuck what others think. Sorry for the profanity but that's my philosophy and my husband's philosophy. ---Bryan.

03-26-2015, 09:43 AM

From what you have stated it does not sound like you are gay at all, but even if you are there is nothing wrong with that , love the person who you are.

As for your co-workers ignore them, or look for a alternative place to work.

03-26-2015, 08:37 PM

my friend who is very camp acting and does come across gay to others has 6 children so deffo not gay....people just make assumptions as its easy when they can label a person - if you say your not gay then that's all you can do ...is there anything in your mannerisms that could be considered stereotypically gay ?

LJay · 03-26-2015, 08:43 PM

And you work at McDonald's or Burger King?

Tell these people to throw it in the fryer and salt it down.

03-27-2015, 12:00 AM

The thing is, if this is getting you down and making you depressed, then it could be affecting your work, and whatever your co workers seem to think this sounds very much akin to a form of harrassment. Therefore, should you not approach human resources and tell them that you are being hounded by these allegations that are completely out of hand?
So contrary to what @Iceblink and [MENTION=20482]Wolfpack[/MENTION] seem to suggest, that you should seek employment elsewhere, I think your co workers might need to be disciplined, or at least get a good talking to by management. Is that something that you can do?

03-27-2015, 12:02 AM

matty7 Wrote:my friend who is very camp acting and does come across gay to others has 6 children so deffo not gay....people just make assumptions as its easy when they can label a person - if you say your not gay then that's all you can do ...is there anything in your mannerisms that could be considered stereotypically gay ?

I am afraid having children, whether 6, more or fewer, is no guarantee of a man's sexual orientation. I know at least two people who have had 6 or more children and who turned out gay. But it doesn't mean that your friend is gay, @matty7, it just means that it's not a clear indication. The fact is these men wanted children, and went the straight way to have their families.

03-27-2015, 12:09 AM

princealbertofb Wrote:I am afraid having children, whether 6, more or fewer, is no guarantee of a man's sexual orientation. I know at least two people who have had 6 or more children and who turned out gay. But it doesn't mean that your friend is gay, @matty7, it just means that it's not a clear indication. The fact is these men wanted children, and went the straight way to have their families.

now I read your reply I totally agree - I just know his extra activities too...if it has a pulse and female he would have sex with them lol ///no shame